


Hazy Sunshine

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-07-31
Updated: 2004-02-14
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:58:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 59,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Just as Justin is getting his life under control Brian's spins out into chaos.  FollowsGlimmering Sunshine. Third story in the Sunshine series.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

“I know that you’re not trying to make a grab for my ass again,” Justin threatened good naturedly as he cleared the dirty dishes from one of the tables in the diner.

“It’s not my fault that you keep taunting me with those ass-hugging jeans,” the man grinned back. “I only have so much will power and you’re testing every last ounce of it.”

Justin only grinned broadly and made sure to wiggle his rear as he made his way to the next table. In the background he could hear Sally snickering from her position at the counter.

“You should be nicer to the customers, Picaso,” Irina spoke up. “You’ll receive better tips that way.”

Justin shrugged absently and set his bin down on the counter as he sat next to Sally. “I get better tips when I frustrate them.”

“You are such a slut!” Sally snorted, rolling her eyes dramatically. “You have been spending way to much time with your evil half. Speaking of which, where is the big bad? I haven’t seen him in forever.”

“He’s probably still at the office,” Justin said as he glanced down at his watch. “I swear that Brian works more now that he’s made partner than he did before.”

From the look on Sally’s face, Justin knew what was on his best friend’s mind. He also knew that she was wrong. As easy as it would have been to write off Brian’s frequent late nights as being trips to the baths or to Babylon, Justin knew that it wasn’t the case. For one thing, his lover didn’t wreak of sex when he stumbled into the loft around midnight. Another, Brian was just too exhausted. There was some really big account Brian was working on and for the past two weeks he’d been focusing his entire attention on that campaign. And while on some level Justin did feel slightly neglected, he knew how important Brian’s job was to him and didn’t complain. Instead he played the role of the caring, considerate lover and helped Brian to relieve the stress each night and again in the morning.

“So what are you doing for your birthday?” Sally asked, changing the subject completely. 

Justin knew that something was up when she started bouncing on the stool, a huge grin on her face. He glanced beyond her at Irina, but the raven-haired tattoo artist only shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of her coffee.

“Going to Deb’s for cake then to Babylon with the guys to celebrate,” Justin said warily, very nervous about Sally’s sudden hyperactive state. “Why?”

“But Deb’s isn’t till after dinner, right?” Sally pressed. When Justin nodded she gave a silent cheer, spinning the stool around a few times. “That leaves us plenty of time for the rights of passage.”

“Sal, I’m turning eighteen, not twenty-one. I still can’t legally buy alcohol,” Justin reminded her.

Sally nodded her head, the grin never wavering. “I know. And we’re not going to buy alcohol. We’re gonna do something better.”

“I would suggest running away now, Picaso,” Irina said, sharing Justin’s confusion as she gave her girlfriend an odd look.

“Um, yeah....”

Giving Sally a final confused look, Justin picked up his bin and headed for the kitchen. He had no idea what his currently blue-haired friend was planning which was never a good thing. The last time Sally had planned something Justin had ended up wandering around school for an entire day in a white sequin miniskirt and matching top. At first he’d been ready to kill her but by the time first period was over, Justin was enjoying playing up the role of the flamboyant cross-dresser. Sally claimed that it was a promotional stunt for the play, but Justin knew was retribution for talking her into getting a smurf tattoo on her right hip, something she only regretted when she realized how much getting a tattoo hurt.

“Hey there, baby!”

Justin rounded the corner and was immediately pulled into a hug from the over exuberant queen. Justin hugged him back, grinning at Ted who was rolling his eyes in the background. That would normally be the point where Brian would step in and move Emmett out of the way then tug Justin towards him by the front of his shirt. It was an extremely affectionate gesture that Justin had become used to quite some time ago and liked not because it meant Brian was jealous but because of the toe-curling kiss that would follow.

As he pulled away from Emmett, Justin noticed that Michael and his live-in lover Dr. Dave sliding into a booth with Ted. In the past few months he and Michael had gotten used to one another’s presence if nothing else. Justin knew that he would never be able to trust Michael, not after what he had let happen in the fall. But he was no longer terrified to be in the other man’s presence which was a good thing since Brian and Michael had slowly been spending more time together since the accident. In a way, Justin was glad. He had never wanted to come between Brian and Michael’s friendship. The two men had known each other almost as long as he’d been alive and as much as he loved Brian, he wasn’t going to fuck that up. Not if he could help it.

“So what can I get you guys?” Justin asked as he fished an order pad out of the front pocket of his apron. He briefly turned his attention to Sally and Irina, accepting a kiss on the cheek from both women as they left the diner, then grabbed a pen from behind his ear and looked back at the boys.

“You might wanna disinfect your cheek before you and Brian play together later,” Ted snickered as he picked up the menu. “He’ll smell the lesbian musk on the other side of the loft and kick you to the curb.”

“Or he’ll take Justin right there on the hardwood and mark his territory,” Emmett countered, smacking Ted lightly with his menu. “You know Brian could never throw out his baby.”

“Don’t let Brian hear you say that, he’ll throw a fit,” Michael spoke up and looked as though he’d swallowed something foul while saying it.

This time Emmett directed his menu at Michael. “Oh please! Even you know that the notorious Mr. Kinney has lost it for our baby here. Lost it quite badly, I might add.”

Blushing furiously, Justin waved the order pad in their direction. “Orders. Were any of you thinking of eating or did you just want to talk about me like I’m not here?”

Once he had regained their attention, Justin was able to get their orders and went to place them with the cook. Most of the other patrons were making their way out to the bars so Justin was able to spend time with his friends while they ate, stealing fries off Ted’s plate when he wasn’t looking.

Even though he was nearly half the age of the other men, Justin didn’t feel out of place around them. He was still slightly nervous where Michael was concerned he could sit next to the other man, as he was doing then, and be completely relaxed. Justin guessed that it had something to do with the way Michael was leaning up against his lover. Michael had somewhere else to focus his attention which seemed to be doing him good. He remembered hearing someone mention that Michael and David were living together, even housing David’s son from a previous marriage for a weekend a short while back.

After the boys left to go unwind at Babylon, things got so slow at the diner that Justin was sent home early. The artist doesn’t pause long enough for the manager to change his mind. He quickly shed his apron and grabbed his backpack from under the counter and rushed out to the new jeep. As Justin had expected, Brian had fallen in love with the rented Corvette and bought one for himself as a personal Christmas present. What Justin had not expected was for Brian to buy another jeep with the insurance money.

As he unlocked the driver’s side door, Justin smiled fondly as he remembered having seen Brian drive that very jeep through the large front window at the car dealership. He’d thought Lindsay would explode when she’d come out of the ladies room to see Brian slamming the door shut in a shower of glass. The salesman, on the other hand, had looked to be on the verge of a mental breakdown which only seemed more imminent when Brian had pulled Justin into a very intense kiss right in the middle of the showroom.

Knowing that Brian could likely use the chance to unwind after another long day, Justin made a stop on the way home to pick up some baby oil from the drug store down the street from the loft. He also grabbed a bottle of chocolate sauce which would be just as effective depending on Brian’s mood.

Justin saw the ‘vette parked across the street from the loft as he pulled into his customary parking spot and decided to take the stairs, wanting to surprise his lover. He wasn’t supposed to be home for at least another hour and had full intentions of distracting Brian from whatever he had brought home from the office.

Not wanting to be completely out of breath, Justin stopped running when he reached the fourth floor and slowly made his way up the final two. He was debating the pros and cons of the baby oil and the chocolate sauce, deciding on which of the two would be better when he finally got to the sixth floor landing. Both would be interesting in their own rights and sufficiently messy.

“.... Oh yeah... harder! Fuck me!”

Justin stopped in his tracks, the bag slipping from suddenly nerveless fingers.

Inching his way towards the door, there was no mistaking the sound coming from the other side. Brian was in there fucking someone when he was supposed to be at work. It made Justin wonder just how many times that had happened in the weeks since Brian had made partner.

When he heard the strangled gasp that Brian let out-- a sure sign that he’d just come --Justin felt as though everything had been pulled out from under him. He didn’t want to react. He wanted to be stronger than that. Only he couldn’t be at that moment. The place where he was supposed to be safe suddenly wasn’t anymore. Brian may have never actually promised that he wouldn’t fuck anyone at the loft, but in all the months he’d been living there it had never happened. At least not that Justin knew about.

Stealing himself, Justin fumbled in his pocket for his keys. He wasn’t going to run away like some scared little faggot. He moved slowly, not wanting to alert Brian and the trick to his presence right away. Justin opened the door only far enough for him to slip through and crept towards the bedroom where he could see two bodies writhing behind the opaque glass.

His heart hammering in his chest, Justin walked stiffly towards the bedroom until he could clearly see both bodies. Both men were facing him, but neither seemed aware of him. For several endless moments, Justin stood there watching them, his heart breaking more and more with each moment that passed.

Justin wasn’t naive enough to think that Brian would be monogamous, but he’d never thought to come home to find Brian fucking someone in the bed they shared.

When he saw the other man begin to shoot all over the sheets, Justin turned and bolted from the loft, not even stopping to shut the door behind him. Not really thinking, Justin bolted down the stairs as fast as he could, his eyes tingling as he blinked back tears he refused to shed. 

It wasn’t until he stumbled out onto the sidewalk that Justin realized that his keys were still in the door six floors up. Justin didn’t have the stomach to face that scene again so instead he shoved his hands into his pockets and rushed down the street. He wasn’t sure where he was going yet just that it was away from the loft and the two men fucking in the bedroom.

In the end, Justin found himself standing in front of Babylon. He was let in without any problems since he was there all the time with Brian and the bouncers knew him. Justin didn’t really know what he was doing in there except that it was better than being at the loft.

Before long, Justin lost himself in the music that was thumping through the crowded club. He didn’t care about anything expect the music that was pounding through his system and moving his limbs. Every so often Justin could feel someone brush against him or a hand caress him. When the heat from all the gyrating bodies and his own frantic movements began to make him sweat, Justin stripped off his shirt, tucking the top of it into the back pocket of his jeans without missing a beat.

“Come with me, I wanna worship that amazing body of yours,” a husky voice murmured in his ear.

Feeling the body pressing against his back, the hard planes and the large hands stroking his sides, Justin found himself nodding his head. At that moment he didn’t care. If Brian got to use his body any way he wanted then so did he. He could fuck anyone and it wouldn’t matter because he obviously didn’t matter to Brian.

Not like Justin had always thought he did.

Justin moaned in contentment as he felt the lips sucking on the skin where his shoulder and neck met. Even though he didn’t want to, Justin found himself imagining that it was Brian who was running his hands all over his torso. Even as they were moving towards the backroom, Justin was enjoying the way the man was paying homage to his body.

“I’m gonna fuck that beautiful body of yours till you can’t sit down for a week,” the trick moaned as he sucked on the back of Justin’s throat.

“Yeah....” Justin sighed breathlessly, grinding his ass against the man’s crotch. “Please....”

So caught up in the feelings of the hands running over his torso, Justin only managed to push aside the chains hanging over the entrance to the backroom at the last moment. Once inside, though, Justin was hit by an overload of memories. Memories of the last time he’d been there.

That fateful night in September when Brian had rescued him from Damian.

Justin began to panic slightly as he remembered what exactly had happened that night. The cold concrete he was lying on. The sharp pains as the boots connected with his ribs. Crying out but having no one turn to help him.

No one but Brian.

Brian had made it stop. Made Damian go away.

Breathing raggedly, Justin was no longer aroused by the idea of being fucked by some unknown person who’s face he had yet to see. He tried to squirm away, but the trick only held onto him tighter, trying to focus Justin’s movements against his erection.

“I... I don’t... no....” Justin stammered, fighting harder to pull away from the larger man.

“It’s not nice to be a tease, little boy,” he hissed in Justin’s ear, gripping him tightly.

Before Justin could stop him, he was shoved face first against the nearest wall. He knocked his chin against the hard concrete which stunned him slightly. Long enough for the demanding trick to reach around to unfasten the top button on Justin’s jeans. As he began fumbling with the zipper, the blonde became aware of what was going on around him once again and felt the fear bubbling up once again.

“I. Said. NO,” Justin growled out, using his hands as leverage to push himself back as hard as possible, catching the man off guard and throwing him back a bit.

Without hesitating, Justin darted back towards the exit. He stumbled around the various groups of men sucking and fucking in the dark recesses of the backroom. As he ran, Justin fumbled for his long sleeve tee which was still somehow stuck in his pocket. He paused only long enough to pull it over his head and once he could see again continued forward as he stuck his arms through the proper holes.

Justin didn’t stop until he was back outside, not even having stopped to get his jacket or backpack. Instinctually, Justin wanted to run straight to Brian... but he couldn’t. He couldn’t face Brian then and wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to.

“Hey! Get back here, you fucking twink!”

Recognizing the voice, Justin took off at a run in the opposite direction of Tremont. He knew where he could go. Where he would be safe.

As he paused at a street corner to wait for a car to pass in front of him, Justin heard his cell phone ringing from its place in his pocket. Shivering against the intense cold of the February night, it took Justin a few tries to successfully get the phone out of his pocket. When he saw the name on the screen he nearly ended up dropping the phone.

Loft.

555-6710

It was Brian calling him. Which meant that he was done fucking the other guy and must have realized that he had been at the loft at some point during the proceedings.

Shutting the phone off, Justin shoved it back into his pocket and started down the street once again.


	2. Hazy Sunshine

Brian scrubbed his hands over his face, staggering blindly towards the kitchen. He could hear Kip moving around in the bedroom, but was already mentally writing off the other man. He was a descent fuck so when they’d finished their work on the campaign it was just easier to fuck him then go out looking for a trick.

“I take it your kid brother didn’t know about you being queer?”

Glancing at Kip over his shoulder, Brian glowered at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Kip trotted down the stairs, attempting to smooth his hair into some semblance of order. “That blonde kid who showed up--”

“Shit!” Brian cursed as he rushed towards the front door. 

The water bottle slipped from his grasp when he saw that the front door was open, a small paper bag out on the landing. Sticking out of it was the top of a bottle of chocolate syrup. That was the only proof Brian needed that it had indeed been Justin Kip saw in the doorway.

“You need to go. Now,” Brian growled, stalking towards the couch where he’d left the cordless.

“Don’t tell me you’re scared he’s gonna run home to mommy and daddy and out you,” Kip snorted, not making any move to leave. “From what I could tell he looked like he was old enough to deal with the fact that you fuck guys. Besides, I need to talk to you about something.”

Brian glared at him as he began to punch in the number for Justin’s cell. “Not now. Get the fuck out.”

Holding the phone to his ear, Brian prayed for Justin to pick up. He chewed nervously on his lower hip, stabbing his fingers into his hair as it continued to ring. There was a soft click then:

“This is Justin. Leave me a message.”

“I know what you saw, Justin,” Brian said immediately. “I know what you saw and... fuck! I never... Please call me, Justin. Or come home. Let me know that you’re all right.... I love you.”

Brian held the phone to his ear for a few extra moments, silently pleading for Justin to pick up the phone. But in the end he resigned himself to hanging up the phone. He dropped it back onto the couch and headed into the bedroom, grabbing his jeans off the floor. Brian dressed quickly and snatched up his keys, wallet and cell phone from the counter as he rushed out of the loft. He barely even remembered to shut and lock the door on his way out.

Not wanting to alarm anyone, Brian decided to head to Liberty to search out his errant lover. He checked all of Justin’s usual haunts while intermittedly calling him on his cell. Each time he got the teen’s voicemail and each time he left a message, pleading for Justin to call him or to answer.

At the diner.

“I know that you’re pissed, Justin, and you can stay pissed at me for as long as you want, but just let me know you’re all right. Where you are.... I love you....”

At the café owned by a pair of veteran queers who’d been going strong for the better part of half a century, or so Justin claimed.

“Justin, I need you to call me. Please, Justin. I never wanted to hurt you. I don’t know what the fuck I was doing. I know you probably don’t believe me right now, but I do love you, Justin....”

At Woody’s.

“Justin..... Please... just be... just be safe. I want you to be safe.... I want you around for a long time. I love you....”

At Babylon.

Brian reached into his pocket to take out his cell phone. He’d already searched the backroom, restroom and scoured the entire dance floor was his perch on the catwalk. Justin wasn’t at the club and--

“Hey! Kinney!”

Ignoring the voice, Brian pulled out his cell and began to punch in the number for Justin’s.

“Kinney! That little friend of yours forgot his bag!”

Brian nearly ended up dropping the phone as he whirled around and rushed towards the coat check area. On the counter he could see Justin’s backpack. The same one he’d had for as long as Brian had known him. Justin’s coat was also there.

“Kid was running out of here like some kinda fiend was after him,” the guy said as he handed Justin’s things over. “Woulda thought it was that fuck Walker except that bastard’s still stuck in a jail cell. Nah, wasn’t him. Some other fuck was chasing him. Pissed as hell from the looks of it.”

“Who was it?” Brian demanded, his initial fear turning into rage at the thought of someone hurting Justin.

But the man only shrugged. “Don’t know. I can ask around.”

“Do that,” Brian barked as he turned back around and stalked out of the club.

Brian knew that he had no choice but to start calling the others. Even though he knew he would never hear the end of it-- especially from Deb, the munchers and Sally --Brian didn’t care. He was more concerned about finding out where Justin was and making sure that he was safe.

About half a block away from where he’d parked the ‘vette, Brian heard his cell begin to ring. Shuffling Justin’s coat and backpack from one arm to the other, he fumbled in his pocket for the small phone, praying that it was Justin who was calling. He almost decided against answering when he saw Lindsay’s number on the screen, but he pressed the “talk” button anyway.

“What do you want?” Brian mumbled as he attempted to fish his keys out of his pocket.

“I have something you lost,” Lindsay replied tersely.

A huge sense of relief washed over Brian. “Justin’s with you? Please tell me that he’s there, Lindz.”

“Oh he’s here all right,” Lindsay chuckled wryly. “I found him on my doorstep about five minutes ago shaking and on the verge of tears. It’s fucking ten below out and he was wandering around without a coat on and looking like someone just killed his puppy.”

“Justin doesn’t have a puppy,” Brian said quietly, trying to quelch the guilt he could feel stirring in the pit of his stomach.

“I know he doesn’t have a fucking dog,” Lindsay hissed and even over the phone Brian winced. “But he has a heart and you broke it with whatever stunt you pulled.”

Brian leaned up against the Corvette, momentarily sucking his lips in. “Can I talk to him?”

“Even if Justin was willing he can’t right now. I sent him upstairs to talk a warm shower. He was frozen all over and needs to warm up before he gets hypothermia or something,” Lindsay spat out.

“Lindz....”

“I don’t want to hear it, Brian. Justin’s already been through enough without having to deal with your bullshit,” Lindsay snapped just before she hung up on him.

Brian stood there listening to the dialtone, feeling the guilt roll over him. He slowly pulled the phone away from his ear and hung up, debating what to do next. There was no doubt in his mind that he needed to see Justin. To see for himself that the blonde was all right. He needed to find some way to make everything up to Justin.

***“I’m not going to love anyone. That way no one can hurt me. If I don’t care about them then it won’t matter what they do to me. So please, don’t.... Don’t tell me that you love me. It won’t hurt if you don’t say it.”***

The only problem was that Brian did love him, more than he ever would have thought possible. He loved Justin, but that didn’t stop him from hurting the younger man. Brian had done the one thing he’d always promised Justin he’d never do.

The entire time that he was driving to Lindsay’s, Brian tried to figure out what he could possibly say to Justin. If there actually was anything he could say to Justin that would fix what he had broken. Brian was willing to admit that he was in over his head. He was twenty-nine years old and Justin was the first person he’d ever let get really close to him. Close enough for him to hurt Justin and feel like he was ripping his own heart out in the process.

By the time he pulled up in front of the maison des munchers, Brian still didn’t know what he was going to say to Justin. He sat in the Corvette for several long minutes, idling, and desperately attempting to figure out what was going to happen next.

Finally giving up on that attempt, knowing that it would be impossible, Brian turned off the car and climbed out. There were lights on in the living room and he could see movement. In the gap between the curtains, Brian saw a flash of blonde hair and knew instinctively that it was the younger of the two. He reached back in and grabbed out Justin backpack and coat, a peace offering if nothing else.

At the front door, Brian hesitated again. It was beginning to drive him up a wall. He was Brian fucking Kinney. He wasn’t supposed to hesitate. Then again, he shouldn’t have been feeling guilty either. Or be in love with a blonde twink whose best friend’s hair changed colour every other week.

The only problem that each of those things that never would have happened six months ago were suddenly very true. He was hesitating, he did feel guilty and he was in love with a blonde twink whose best friend was an insane ex-cheerleader.

So Brian raised his hand and knocked on the door.

There was some muffled conversation followed by the sound of movement before the door was opened and Brian came face to face with the enraged political dyke he thought he’d left behind in university.

“Well if it isn’t the asshole triumphant. Come here to gloat?” Lindsay scowled, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I just want to talk to him,” Brian whispered, staring beyond Lindsay rather than meeting her eyes.

Lindsay let out a loud laugh. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. Do you really think that Justin wants to talk to you after what you did? Be serious, Brian.”

“Is that Justin’s opinion or yours?”

Lindsay was silent, but Brian was aware of a movement out of the corner of his eyes. When he turned, he saw Justin hovering in the entrance between the foyer and the living room. Instead of feeling better like he thought he would when he saw the blonde, Brian felt even worse.

The look on Justin’s face was one that Brian had never hoped to see again. Justin had retreated within himself, his eyes incredibly guarded and his posture was stiff. He looked like he had after Damian had taken him.

“Jus....” Brian breathed out, his eyebrows furrowing. He took a step into the house and felt his gut clenching when Justin immediately moved backwards half a step. “Justin, I--”

“No,” Justin ground out with a shake of his head. He looked away, absently pushing his wet bangs away from his forehead. “I know what you’re going to say, but I can’t here it right now. I’m kinda still reeling from the whole having my world pulled out from under me. I was living in a world of illusions before, but I know better now. I won’t be stupid enough to fall for into that trap again.”

“I... Justin, I never wanted to hurt you. You know that,” Brian pleaded with him, desperate to pull Justin into his arms. Since he couldn’t, Brian held Justin’s belongings against his chest, crossing his arms to hold them in place. “I can’t justify what I did and I won’t even try to. But you have to know that I didn’t fuck that guy at the loft to rub it in your face. I wouldn’t do that, not even in some bizarre passive aggressive form of revenge.”

“That doesn’t make it hurt any less,” Justin mumbled, glancing down at his white sock-clad feet.

“I know,” Brian murmured, sucking his lips in over his teeth.

“I’m, um.... Lindsay says I can stay here for a while,” Justin told him after letting out a quick breath. “It’s just her and Gus right now so I’m gonna help out watching him. That way he’s not always with a sitter. He can have one of his... I can watch him.”

Brian smiled softly at his lover and set the bag and coat down on the ground, a peace offering of sorts. “It will be good for Gus to have one of his dads living with him to make sure he isn’t overrun by pussy lovers.”

Justin’s lips quirked momentarily, almost against his will.

“I love you, Justin. Nothing’s changing that,” Brian stated emphatically, meeting Justin’s teary gaze and refusing to look away as he spoke.

“I love you too,” Justin whispered almost breathlessly, a single tear slipping down his cheek.

Biting his lower lip, Brian nodded his head and took a step back out of the house. He wanted nothing to more take Justin in his arms, but he wasn’t going to force the blonde into doing anything that he didn’t want to. From Justin’s posture, Brian knew that he didn’t want to be touched.

As he rushed down the walk leading to the street, Brian shoved his hands deep into his pockets. The guilt he’d been feeling before had been earlier had only grown after seeing Justin. Some part of his mind was expecting Justin to come bolting out of the house and chasing after him. It was what he wanted to happen on some level, though he would never actually admit to it. If Justin came out after him then Brian was hopeful that he could talk Justin into going home with him.

It didn’t happen, though.

Even taking as long as possible to climb into the Corvette and start it up, there was no sign of Justin. The only thing that did happen was the light in the living room turning off.

Resigned to going home alone, Brian pulled away from the suburban home and headed back to the loft. During the entire trip, Brian’s earlier anger only increased. At no time was his anger directed at Justin. Brian was furious with himself for giving into his lust and fucking Kip in the bed that he and Justin had been sharing for the past six months. While he had never intended to give up tricking when Justin became a permanent fixture in his life, he had promised himself that he wouldn’t rub it in Justin’s face.

Brian had almost managed to quell that anger until he stepped out of the elevator and his foot nearly came down on the bag that Justin had dropped earlier in the night. Leaning down Brian picked up the bag, unbalancing it so that its contents spilled down onto the hardwood. A bottle of chocolate sauce and another of baby oil. Frowning, Brian reached down to pluck both items off the ground. He held them in his left hand as he unlocked the front door and disabled the alarm.

Leaving the door open, Brian walked into the kitchen and dropped the keys and the two bottles on the counter. His cell phone and wallet soon joined the items on the counter before Brian slid out of his jacket, dropping it onto the ground. Brian started to move back to the door to lock up for the night, but instead he remained at the counter, staring down at the two seemingly innocent bottles lying here. He stood them both upright, placing them both so that the labels were facing him.

Brian only realized that he snatched up the empty bottle of Jim Beam and launched it across the room when he heard the sound of the glass breaking against the wall. He and Kip had finished up that bottle during the three hours they’d been fine tuning the account. Brian wasn’t going to blame what had happened on having too much to drink. Brian knew that he had fucked Kip because he had been there and willing.

He’d fucked a guy who wasn’t even that hot when he could have waited a little while longer to enjoy whatever Justin had planned for them. Even excluding the drama that followed after, spending the night with Justin would have easily topped the mediocre fuck with the younger adman.

Picking his cell phone back up, Brian once again dialed Justin’s number, knowing he would still have it turned off.

“I can keep telling you that I’m sorry until my voice is hoarse, but that’s pointless. It’s just a word and it really doesn’t mean anything. So here’s my idea. Tomorrow I’m going to buy a new mattress. One that only the two of us will sleep on. Well, maybe Gus too. If he's a good boy. I’m also going to toss the sheets that are on it now and buy some new ones.... I’m not trying to bribe you into coming home, though. Take as long as you need. I’m not going anywhere.... I love you, Justin....”


	3. Hazy Sunshine

Most mornings, Justin woke to find himself wrapped up in Brian’s arms. Some times the other man was practically squishing him into the mattress, but Justin never minded. He loved being surrounded by Brian. The mornings when they ended up on opposite sides of the bed, Justin would instinctively reach towards his lover, seeking out his warmth.

This time when he reached for Brian there was only empty air. Not an empty mattress, but air and some carpet when he let his hand fall down.

That’s when Justin remembered everything that had happened to result in him sleeping in the guest room at Lindsay and Melanie’s.

Pulling his hand back up under his chest, Justin pressed his face into the pillow to drown out the anguished scream that leaked past his lips. He didn’t want to remember what had happened when he had gone home last night. To have the scene with Brian fucking that guy replaying in his mind on a loop.

“Sweetie, you’re going to be late if you don’t get up now,” Lindsay called softly.

Justin reluctantly rolled onto his back, sinking his fingers into his hair. “I still have to go home so that I can change my clothes and get my stuff for school....”

Lindsay crossed the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “I can go with you if you want? Distract Brian with Gus’ newfound ability to sit up on his own while you get your stuff. He’s a sucker where Gus is concerned.”

Despite himself, Justin smiled at that. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m okay... I’ll be okay. It needs to be done. I can’t just run away. I love him too much.”

“Well let me know when you’re ready and I’ll drive you over to the loft,” Lindsay said as she rose back to her feet.

Twenty minutes later Justin was slowly climbing the steps to the sixth floor. Having seen the Corvette parked out front, Justin really didn’t want to go up. He wasn’t sure that he was able to deal with Brian yet. Which was exactly what he would be doing. Justin knew that they had to talk about what had happened the night before, but at the moment Justin didn’t trust himself to not forgive Brian without actually talking about what had happened.

As he rounded the final corner before the final set of stairs, Justin could already see that the heavy metal door was wide open. Not only that, but Brian was leaning against the door jamb, watching his approach.

And even though he was dressed impeccably in a shimmering blue suit accented with a blood red shirt and tie, Justin could tell that Brian was hurting. Not only emotionally, but physically as well.

“Hey,” Justin whispered, hesitating on the last step.

“Hey,” Brian echoed, remaining perfectly still and allowing Justin to dictate how things went.

The blonde climbed the last step and slowly made his way towards the open door. It had only been a few hours, but already the place seemed different to him, almost foreign. Justin had called that apartment home for the past six months, but at that moment it felt as though he was stepping into it for the first time.

“I, um... I need to change my clothes and get my books,” Justin mumbled as he came to a stop in front of Brian. “My keys to. I’ll come back after school to get some of my thing--”

“You’re moving out?” Brian squeaked and Justin could see the other man wince at the uncommon tone of his voice.

Scratching at the bridge of his nose, Justin looked down, not meeting Brian’s eyes. “For now at least. Lindsay said that I could stay in the spare room at her place for as long as I wanted. I think that it would be good... the time apart. It’s not like either of us chose to get into this relationship, it just kinda happened. This way we can step back to see if its what either of us really wants and....”

Justin voice trailed off as he happened to glance up quickly and saw the expression on Brian’s face. He looked as though he had been punched in the gut. Or had the thing he cared about the most yanked away from him. Jerking slightly at the thought, Justin lifted his head to meet Brian’s gaze head on.

“You should know by now that I never do anything I don’t want to,” Brian whispered forlornly. “I’m with you because I want to be, not because of the circumstances. I love you, Justin.”

“I know you do,” Justin murmured, a slight smile gracing his lips. It was gone instantly, replaced by the now familiar prickling feeling behind his eyes that heralded the onset of tears. “And I love you even though right now I’m having a hard time forgetting what I saw last night and remembering how much that hurt. And I know that you’re going to say that sex doesn’t mean anything to you, but--”

"Sex is nothing to me, Justin,” Brian insisted, cutting him off mid-sentence. “Except when I'm with you. Then it isn't fucking."

"Then what is it?" Justin whimpered, staring up at Brian, pleading for him to say something that would make the hurt go away.

Brian took a step forward so that he could cup Justin's cheeks in his hands. "It's me being with the man that I love. It's something very beautiful that I never thought I'd be able to experience."

"Then why aren't I enough?" Justin pleaded as a single tear escaped his fluttering lids and trailed down his cheek.

"Because I'm scared shitless," Brian admitted, a great sigh escaping from his lips as he leaned his forehead against Justin’s. “I was never supposed to be in a relationship. Never fall in love. But it’s happened... because of you... and I don’t regret it.”

Justin sniffled, squeezing his eyes shut tight as he clutched at Brian’s forearms. The words were exactly the ones he had wanted Brian to say, the ones he’d imagined he’d say, but it didn’t fix everything the way it was supposed to. Justin still felt as though his heart had been ripped to shreds.

“I know you’re sorry about what happened last night, but telling me the things I want to hear won’t make it better,” Justin mumbled, pulling away from Brian. “It’s just a bunch of words and I’ve heard them all before.”

“Justin--”

Shaking his head, Justin took another step back. “You don’t have to tell me, Bri. I know you meant every word, but I just... I need some time. To regroup and figure out just what the hell I’m doing. I got my SAT marks back yesterday so I need to decide where I’m applying for university next year, figure out how the hell I’m gonna pay for it. I don’t even know if I’m going to be able to go, but I can still apply.”

“You know I’ll pay for you to go wherever you want,” Brian said immediately, turning as Justin walked around him and deeper into the loft. “I don’t want you to have to worry about that. So you can apply wherever you want.”

Grinning slightly, Justin glanced at Brian over his shoulder. “I had a feeling you’d say that, but I really want to take care of it myself. I need to stop depending on you for everything and take care of myself.”

“If things get to be too much, I want you to promise that you’ll let me help,” Brian insisted in a tone that Justin knew meant there would be no arguing with him.

“Only if I don’t have any other choice,” was Justin’s response. “I want to eventually be able to stand on my own two feet... even if I have to spend the rest of my life repaying student loans.”

It was obvious from his expression that Brian wanted to protest Justin’s choice. Twenty-four hours ago, Justin would have allowed the other man to have his way to at least some extent. The previous night had been a wake up call, though. It made Justin realize that his relationship with Brian wasn’t necessarily a permanent thing. In the beginning, Brian had told him that he was letting Justin stay with him so that he could get himself sorted out. 

Which was exactly what had happened.

Justin was no longer the terrified and battered waif that Brian had rescued from the backroom of Babylon. In the six months that had passed Justin had healed and grown stronger. Justin had even managed to somehow regain his confidence that had been shattered by both his father and Damian. He wasn’t naive enough to think that he was completely recovered, emotionally at least, from everything that had happened, but for the most part he was all right. Well enough to function like a normal human being.

“You’re not going to disappear, are you?” Brian asked, his voice drifting up into the bedroom from the main part of the loft.

Justin paused in what he was doing and turned towards the steps. Leaving his shirt abandoned on the bed, Justin crossed the room so that he could see his lover moving about randomly in the kitchen.

“Why would I disappear?”

Brian glanced at him, but didn’t say anything. Instead he moved over to the desk as though he hadn’t spoken, cup of coffee in hand.

“You drink too much coffee,” Justin told him as he made his way down the steps, beginning a conversation they’d had many times. He wanted to put him at ease, let him know that nothing bad was necessarily going to happen because he wasn’t living in the loft. “In fact, it causes high blood pressure, heart attacks, insomnia....”

“Well when I’m in bed with you, I never really get much of a chance to sleep. You snore,” Brian said affectionately.

“See, fortunately, I have youth on my side. I can stay up all night... snoring... and still get a 1500 on my SAT’s,” Justin announced, leaning against the desk.

For the first time in a while, Brian met his gaze, a proud smile appearing on his face. “1500?”

Justin nodded an affirmative. “Yep.”

“Wow.... You could get into any school you wanted with a score like that. They’d be idiots not to take you,” he finalized, the smile never leaving his lips.

For several long minutes the pair stared at each other. For his part, Justin didn’t think that he’d ever get used to having someone support him the way that Brian did. He liked the fact that his lover was in his corner no matter what, even when Justin knew that he was tearing Brian’s heart out.

“I, um... I need to finished getting changed,” Justin mumbled, interrupting the silence. “I’m going to be late as it is.”

Brian nodded his head mutely, staring down into the depths of his coffee cup.

As he passed back towards the bedroom, Justin noticed for the first time that the bottles of baby oil and chocolate syrup were sitting perfectly on the counter. Waiting for him to make his decision as to which one would be used.

The ad exec was still leaning against the desk when Justin emerged from the bedroom a few minutes later, stuffing his history textbook into his backpack. Debating whether or not to simply leave without saying anything, Justin paused an equal distance from Brian and the door. He knew that he should leave before he lost his resolve and promised to come home after school even when he knew it wasn’t a good idea. It was the smart thing to do. It would give the two of them a chance to look at things objectively and figure out what they wanted to do in terms of their relationship.

It was the almost vacant look on Brian’s face that decided things for him. Regardless of how angry he was with the other man, Justin couldn’t bring himself to cause him pain, deserved or not. What Brian had said earlier was completely true; sex was nothing to him. At best it was a way to relieve stress. And for that Justin didn’t blame Brian for what had happened. It was the fact that it had happened in the bed they shared together that hurt. The first place in for months that Justin had let himself feel safe. The first place he had gotten a good night’s sleep in half a year.

“Don’t forget to eat. I don’t want to come home to find a skeleton waiting for me on the chaise,” Justin said softly as he reached out to rearrange a few stray strands of Brian’s hair.

“We still have that tub of vanilla ice cream to finish off,” Brian reminded him, unconsciously, or perhaps consciously, leaning into Justin’s touch. “Give Sonnyboy a kiss from me when you see him tonight.”

Leaning forward, Justin stood up on tiptoe so that he could brush a kiss against Brian’s forehead. “This is from Gus, in advance,” he murmured, tilting his head down so that their foreheads touched.

Brian nodded his head, his eyes blinking shut.

It took every once of will power he possessed, but Justin managed to pull away from Brian. One step at a time he walked towards the door.

Then out.

Down the stairs.

Out the entrance.

Across the street to the Jeep.

By the time he got to the vehicle, Justin had almost steeled himself for what he had planned. When he had first announced his intentions to Brian, Justin had spoken without thinking. He hadn’t known what he wanted to do.

To be honest, Justin wasn’t sure that he could really stay away from Brian for any length of time. It was necessary, though. He had come to depend too much on the other man and needed to learn how to take care of himself. Thankfully that wouldn’t require him cutting Brian out of his life completely. To do that Justin would have needed to rip out his own heart.

As he tossed his backpack onto the passenger side seat, Justin caught sight of his cell phone as it slid out of the side pocket and tumbled onto the ground. He stared at it for a moment, unsure whether or not he should pick it up. There were undoubtedly messages from Brian on it. Apologies for what had happened, declarations of innocence maybe.

Even though he was unsure whether he wanted to hear the messages it contained or not, Justin found himself leaning over to pick up the small phone. He wasn’t surprised when he saw that there were five new messages waiting for him.

What caught him off guard were the messages themselves. There was no denying the fear and panic that Justin heard in Brian’s voice. Brian had been desperate to hear from him, to at least know that he was all right.

And each call had closed with a declaration of love.

Under normal circumstances, Justin wouldn’t have believed the words. He had heard them enough in situations a lot like that. But it had never sounded like it had when Brian had said it. The words had been so forlorn, so desperate. The words weren’t being used as an excuse for what he had done, but the reason that he felt wretched about what he had done.

And even though he knew that Brian felt guilty about what he had done and that the guilt was eating him up, it didn’t erase everything that had happened the night before.

Dropping his cell phone back onto the passenger seat, Justin started up the Jeep and pulled away from the curb. He took the long route, wanting to get himself prepared for having to deal with Sally. Justin didn’t want her to know about what had happened. Not yet. It wouldn’t be long before everyone found out about him moving in with Lindsay, but what Justin didn’t want was for everyone to blame Brian for what had happened like he knew they instinctively would.

Justin was just pulling into a parking spot behind the school when his cell phone began to ring. He stared at it in confusion, trying to figure out who would be calling him so early. There was only Sally, but she only called that early on weekends when she wanted to annoy him.

A slight smile curved his lips when he saw the number for Brian’s cell on the screen.

“I just saw you a few minutes ago,” Justin said as he brought the phone to his ear.

“I know,” Brian grinned into the phone. “But I was thinking.”

Justin rolled his eyes, snatching his backpack with his free hand before sliding out of the car. “That’s never a good thing. What were you thinking about?”

“I want to celebrate.”

The words caught Justin off guard and he nearly dropped his bag onto the pavement. “What... what’s there to celebrate?” he stammered, hating how weak his voice sounded then.

“It’s nothing bad,” Brian was quick to assure him. “I wanted to take you out for dinner tonight to celebrate your brilliant SAT score.”

This time Justin’s smile was a broad one. “I would like that, Bri.”

“Then I’ll pick you up from the munchers at six,” Brian told him, his tone sounding very relieved. “Dress nice.”

“Thank you,” Justin murmured.

“Love you,” was Brian’s immediate response. “I’ll see you later.”

“Later,” Justin echoed, his smile growing even more as he shut off the phone.


	4. Hazy Sunshine

For much of the day, Brian was unable to focus on anything. All that he wanted to do was drag Justin home from school and fix what he had broken between the two of them. Thankfully his day wasn’t busy so he was able to drift off as he plotted how he was going to get Justin to move back home.

For one thing, he knew that he would have to prove to the blonde that he was trustworthy. That he wouldn’t do anything to hurt him again. And while Brian couldn’t promise him that he wouldn’t trick again, he could make sure that those tricks were never fucked in the loft or when Justin was around.

Earlier in the day, Brian had made a call to a high scale furniture store, ordering a new mattress for the bedroom and a new set of sheets for it, steel gray. And, though he hadn’t thought of it before, Brian also included new pillows and a new duvet with his purchase. The delivery was being made at four-thirty so Brian planned to leave the office early to meet them and supervise the installation.

So, at about quarter to four, Brian shut down his computer and began to collect files into his briefcase to work on before he went to pick Justin up at the munchers.

“I’m not here anymore,” Brian announced into the intercom between his office and Cynthia’s.

“Got it, boss,” was the immediate response.

Checking a final time to make sure that he had everything he wanted, Brian retrieved his jacket off the back of his chair and slipped it on before leaving his office.

“Hey, how's it going?”

As soon as he heard the voice, Brian felt his blood pressure raise several notches. If life were fair, he would never have to set eyes on Kip Thomas again. While he knew that he couldn’t blame everything that had happened on Kip, the younger man was the reason that Justin had his heart broken and was living with Lindsay.

“I've got a meeting outside the office in twenty minutes,” Brian lied, not wanting to deal with the other man at the moment.

The confident smirk was certainly not helping Brian’s temperament any. “Hope it's not like our meeting outside the office.”

“What...?” Brian started before it dawned on him. “Oh.”

Brian still couldn’t remember why he’d told Kip to come over to the loft the night before. He’d already fucked Kip once at the office so he knew what a non-stellar lay the guy was so there should have been no reason for him to go back for seconds. Especially not at home when Justin was likely to walk in at any moment.

Not wanting to put up with Kip, Brian turned and walked away.

“So when do you wanna get together?” Kip asked, following Brian as he started to move down the hallway towards the elevators.

Without stopping, Brian called over his shoulder. “Ask Cynthia about my schedule. Maybe after the Schuleman meeting.”

Not to be dissuaded, Kip placed a hand on Brian’s arm, forcing him to stop. “I meant for dinner.”

“I don't know. I'm late,” Brian ground out, spinning around to face the smaller man.

In the face of his temper, Kip’s determination seemed to waver. “Listen, before you go, there's something I wanna ask you.”

Keeping up the annoyed appearance, which was incredibly easy, Brian glanced absently at his watch. “You have 30 seconds.”

“Dave Harcore is being bumped up to director which means his manager position is gonna be available. I'd like to go up for it. And I'd like you to recommend me. I think I'd be damn good,” Kip said in one breath, getting it all out before he lost his nerve most likely. That part of the situation, Brian enjoyed. He was quite proud of his ability to make people squirm.

And had the situation been different, had Kip not had a hand in the pain Justin was currently in, Brian would have been straight with Kip. Instead, he wanted to torture the other man and relieve some of his own pent up stress in the process.

“I think you would be too,” Brian agreed, shifting his briefcase from one hand to the other.

Kip smiled broadly. “Thanks.”

Then Brian went in for the kill.

“But not yet.”

Brian was proud of himself for giving his professional opinion given what had happened the night before. Even if Justin hadn’t seen him fucking Kip the night before, Brian’s analysis of Kip’s qualifications would have been the same. The only difference was his delivery.

“Why not?” Kip gasped out, the colour fading from his cheeks.

Sighing dramatically, Brian leaned back against the wall. “It's too soon.”

Still quite clueless, Kip began to sputter, grasping at straws. “But you keep telling me how great my ideas are.”

“They are,” Brian confirmed with a slight nod. “But you still have a lot to learn.”

“I can learn on the job,” Kip tried, seemingly desperate to convince Brian of his qualifications.

Suddenly, Brian was quite bored by the situation. He was also still in a hurry, needing to get home before the delivery men arrived at the loft. Brian wanted everything to be perfect when Justin showed up. No traces of the previous night’s events. Except for the bottles of baby oil and chocolate syrup. Those would remain set up on the counter until Justin was ready to move them.

“I admire your ambition, but you need the experience to back it up,” Brian stressed, meaning every word of it. He really did believe that Kip would eventually get what he was after, on his own merit. “Give it time.”

“I don't have time. By then they'll have given it to someone else,” Kip pleaded, reaching out once again to touch Brian’s arm. “Look, I know I'd be perfect.”

Pursing his lips, Brian shook his head. “I told you. You're not ready.”

“Don’t tell me this is because of what happened last night with your little brother,” Kip hissed, finally beginning to lose his cool.

“This has nothing to do with him,” Brian insisted because, quite honestly, it didn’t. “I don’t mix my personal and private lives. Something you should learn. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m late.”

Before Kip could say anything else, Brian turned the corner towards the elevators. As he rode down to the main floor of the building, Brian mentally calmed himself down. He still had to figure out how he was going to have dinner with Justin and respect the boundaries that Justin had set up for them. Boundaries that Brian intended to abide by no matter how much it hurt to do so.

By the time he reached the parking garage, Brian almost had himself convinced that he could do it, too.

“You owe it to me!” Kip shouted from behind him.

Stopping in his tracks, Brian let out a frustrated growl and he tilted his head skyward. “Why?” He screwed his lips into a smirk and whirled around to face his newfound stalker. “Because I fucked you? You weren't that good.”

The younger man flinched slightly as though Brian had struck him physically. Brian rolled his eyes in annoyance. Kip had been around the agency long enough to know how Brian’s temper worked. As it was, the aspiring adman was lucky that Brian hadn’t given chewed him a new asshole... in a way he wouldn’t enjoy.

Glancing around him nervously, Kip closed the distance between himself and Brian. “I'm gay, you're gay....”

“Yeah, we're all gay,” Brian said with a roll of his eyes. He then sneered down at Kip. “Do you think that means I owe you some favour?”

“How else are we supposed to get ahead if we don't help each other?” Kip demanded, genuinely perplexed.

By that time Brian decided that he’d had more than he could take of Kip and growled. “The same way that I did. By helping yourself and by doing your job better than anyone else. If you can do that then trust me, they won't give a shit where you stick your dick.... There. I did you a favour.”

Leaving Kip gaping after him, Brian stalked towards his parking spot and the ‘vette. Whatever calm he’d been feeling a few moments before was completely shattered thanks to Kip. When Justin had left for school that morning, Brian had actually been feeling all right about the situation. He knew that Justin was hurting because of what had happened, but it wasn’t as dire as it had been the night before.

Focusing on how he was going to get Justin back, by the time Brian reached the loft he had put the confrontations with Kip completely out of his mind. There was no room for the other man because Justin took up all of his concentration. He had to regain Justin’s trust and Brian knew that it wouldn’t be easy.

There was a delivery truck parked outside of the building when Brian pulled into his usual spot across the street.

“You guys here with the bedroom stuff?” Brian called to the men milling about the back of the truck.

“If you’re Brian Kinney then we are,” one of them responded.

Even though he hadn’t expected it to happen, Brian felt as though a weight had been lifted from him when the old mattress was replaced with the new. As soon as he had tipped the men and sent them on their way, Brian shed his suit jacket, draping it across the counter and made his way into the bedroom to put the new sheets on the bed.

Unlike the previous mattress, it would only be he and Justin that slept on it. With the occasional visit from Gus, of course. If he could have, Brian would have changed the bed itself, but since it had been built into the floor it wasn’t possible.

There was a nagging voice at the back of Brian’s mind insisting that he shouldn’t have even gone as far as to buy the mattress. That Justin would simply have to live with the tricking because it wasn’t going to stop. And that Brian himself would be seen as weak for what he was doing to appease the blonde. 

Six months ago, the voice would have won out.

The voice was thoroughly squashed when Brian opened the closet door and saw that most of Justin’s clothes had been removed. There was a big empty gap where Justin’s shirts were supposed to be hanging. Space that Brian had presented with a flourish that first day he and Justin had spent together, grinning at Justin’s surprised laugh.

The delivery having taken longer than he’d thought so Brian had to change quickly if he was going to make it to the Lindsay and Mel’s by six like he’d promised Justin. This time around, Brian wasn’t going to break any promises, unspoken or not.

Lindsay was the one to answer the door when Brian arrived just before six. There was a scowl on her face which Brian did his best to ignore. Instead, he slipped past her before she could say anything and was treated to the sight of his lover and son on the couch. Justin was stretched out on his back with Gus sitting against his upraised legs, banging his teddy bear against Justin’s chest and jabbering away mindlessly. It was sights like that which Brian loved, craved even.

“Am I interrupting?” Brian grinned, leaning against the wall and grinning down at the pair.

A huge grin split Gus’ features when the turned his head towards Brian. Keeping one hand on the bear, the infant reached his other hand in his father’s direction, his fingers clenching in and out.

“Hey there, Sonnyboy. Are you having fun with your Daddy?” Brian asked as he crossed the room so that he was crouching down next to the pair. He lifted his hand so that Gus could grab hold of his fingers, squeezing them tightly. “I’ll take that as a yes.... Hey, Justin. I think your shirt’s a little wrinkled.”

“I think so,” Justin chuckled, silently nodding for Brian to pick Gus up so that he could sit up. “I’m just gonna go change and then you can kidnap me for whatever you have planned.”

Balancing Gus against his chest, Brian stood up and moved back so that Justin could pass by in order to go upstairs. “We have reservations in half an hour so don’t take too long,” Brian called after him as he sat down on the couch.

“Unlike you, I can get dressed in a hurry,” Justin shot back before disappearing up the stairs.

Leaning back into the couch, Brian raised Gus up over his head, grinning at his son as he reached a hand in his direction. “Right now your Mom is probably marching over here to chew me a new asshole,” he whispered conspiratorially.

“What are you trying to do to him?” Lindsay demanded, scooping Gus out of his arms so that she could glare down at him properly. “Haven’t you hurt Justin enough?”

“I’m not trying to hurt him,” Brian sighed, draping his arms across the back of the couch. “What I’m trying to do is fix what happened last night.”

“By taking him home and fucking him?” she hissed.

Rolling his eyes, Brian glared up at her with a tongue in cheek smirk. “Actually, I was going to take him to Papagano’s for dinner to celebrate his fantastic SAT score. Whether we fuck or not is completely up to Justin.”

“Oh like I’m going to believe that,” Lindsay snorted, rolling her eyes. “I’ve known you since we were in college Brian, I know how you operate. You’re gonna seduce him and fuck and then you’re going to convince him to move back in with you when what Justin really needs is some time away from you.”

“What the fuck are you on, Lindz?” Brian ground out, pursing his lips together. “Do you honestly think that just because I fucked some guy that I suddenly don’t love about Justin anymore? I know you’re hurting because of what Mel did, but that’s not what happened with me and Justin. So butt out, this doesn’t concern you.”

“I appreciate what you’re trying to do, Lindz, but I’m fine,” Justin said, appearing at the bottom of the stairs.

Rising to his feet in a single fluid motion, Brian passed by Lindsay and made his way over to where Justin stood. “You have your answer, Lindz, so we’ll be on our way. And don’t worry, I’ll have Justin home at a descent hour.”

“Brian--”

“I’m going, Lindz,” Justin said sternly as he slipped into his coat.

Brian smiled smugly and placed a hand on the small of Justin’s back as he led him out of the house. “So should I be expecting a visit from an irate ex-cheerleader?”

Justin giggled, leaning against Brian’s side. “I didn’t see her enough today for her to notice that something was off. Don’t hold your breath for tomorrow, though.”

“Well I have a meeting tomorrow at one, so if she’s going to harass me at work to do it before then,” Brian instructed, allowing his hand to move so that he was gripping Justin’s hip.

“Will do,” Justin assure him. “Look, Bri, I want to thank you for doing this. I know that I’m over reacting to what happened, but...”

“Don’t worry about it,” Brian said quickly, shaking his head. “I fucked up so now I’m going to fix it. No matter how long it takes.”

Justin swatted his stomach lightly. “This isn’t a campaign, Brian. I just need to get this sorted out in my head.”

“Well, in the meantime, we’ve got a dinner to get to,” Brian reminded him, pulling away from Justin to open the passenger door for him. “All the Italian food you can eat and then some.”

“Some biscotti too?” Justin asked with a teasing grin as he slid into the ‘vette. “Maybe with some chocolate sauce or ice cream?”

“You’re evil, Sunshine.”

“No one ever said I couldn’t use your weaknesses against you,” Justin snickered at Brian’s mock scowl.

As he shut the door, Brian silently cursed Justin’s deviousness even as he felt a grin tugging at the corners of his lips.


	5. Hazy Sunshine

Dinner was more than Justin could have ever hoped for.

After what had happened the night before, Justin would have never believed that barely twenty-four hours later he and Brian would be sharing a romantic dinner at one of Pittsburgh’s finest restaurants. Not simply a casual, romantic dinner, which it most certainly was, but it was also a celebratory dinner that Brian had decided upon in his honour.

“I was, um... I’ve been thinking.... I have been considering applying to the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts,” Justin stammered, idly twisting is wine glass around by the stem. “It’s probably stupid of me to even consider it. Sally’s the one who brought it up. She has this all planned out. She’s going to take psychology at Carnagie Mellon and I’ll do my thing at PIFA.”

“For what it’s worth, I think they’d be fools not to take you,” Brian murmured, a slight smile playing on his lips.

Justin returned the smile, unable to stop the blush from keeping into his cheeks. “Well, personally, I think you’re a little biased. You have to like my work, you’re my boyfriend.”

“Is that so?” Brian laughed, arching an eyebrow. “How come no one bothered to tell me that? Is there a boyfriend handbook I should be reading?”

“I’ll lend you mine,” Justin grinned.

It took every bit of self control that Justin possessed to insist on going back to Lindsay’s when dinner was over. He wanted to go home with Brian, no question about it. He loved Brian and the loft was the place that he felt the safest, even after what he had seen the night before. Justin wanted to go home and pretend like it had never happened. Like he hadn’t seen Brian fucking some nameless trick in their bed.

The only problem was that it had happened and he wasn’t okay with that.

Which was why he had Brian take him back to Lindsay’s instead of going to Babylon like his lover suggested.

“We’re here,” Brian sighed as he pulled the ‘vette up in front of Justin’s temporary home. “You sure you don’t wanna go dancing?”

Reluctantly, Justin shook his head. “Nah, I’ve got to work on my lines for the scene we’re rehearsing tomorrow. Rain check?”

“Sure,” Brian murmured, reaching over to cup the back of Justin’s head. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Justin whispered, leaning his forehead against Brian’s.

The pair shared an all too brief kiss and then Justin slid out of the car. He stayed on the sidewalk, watching as Brian drove away. Justin didn’t move until the black Corvette turned the corner and disappeared from sight. Raking a gloved hand through his hair, Justin slowly made his way up the walk towards the front door.

When he entered his temporary residence, Justin could hear Lindsay puttering about in the kitchen. He called out briefly to let her know that he was back then immediately made his way upstairs to the guest room. Justin shrugged out of his coat, tossing it on the bed as he went to stand in front of the window. He knew that Sally would accuse him of brooding if she saw the way that he was acting then. Which, technically, was what he was doing. He just couldn’t--

“So how was dinner?” Lindsay asked, leaning up against the door jamb.

Staring at her reflection in the mirror for a moment, Justin spun around to lean against the ledge. “Dinner was phenomenal. Brian was the perfect gentleman and we got a lot of things sorted out.”

Lindsay furrowed her brows slightly, stepping into the room. “Then why didn’t you go home with him?”

“Because Brian and I both decided that it was best for the time being,” Justin told her, shrugging slightly. “I still need to figure some stuff out. Like what school I’m gonna go to next year.... Hey, do you think you could help me put a portfolio together?”

“A portfolio? What for?” Lindsay demanded, dropping down onto the bed and staring up at Justin who still hadn’t moved from the window.

Ducking his head down, Justin glanced at Lindsay under lowered lashes. “Well because you need a portfolio to apply to the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts.”

As he had expected, Lindsay, a fellow artist, was thrilled at the idea. She seemed to forget all about Brian and instead went into the pros and cons of Justin attending a specialized school. Justin was glad to have her opinion because, as much as he valued what Brian and Sally thought, Lindsay had actually studied art. And she certainly had a lot of opinions.

Eventually, the two moved downstairs to the living room as Lindsay began to tell him about her specific experiences at Penn State. Professors, dorm life, projects... even her pseudo-relationship with Brian. After a couple glasses of wine, Lindsay was very graphic about just how real their relationship had been.

“Brian fucked Lindsay?” Sally demanded the following morning, her eyes going wide at the very thought of it. “That settles it, I’m having a talk with your boyfriend. If he stuck his dick in her, the least he can let me do is spend a little quality time with it.... Do you think he’d let that sex shop in Liberty make an exact copy of his dick in dildo form? It would be a great seller and he’d get royalties for it.”

Rolling his eyes, Justin grabbed hold of Sally’s liter sized bottle of iced tea and took a large gulp of it. “You really need a hobby, Sal. Something to take your mind off your obsession with my boyfriend’s cock.”

“But this is my hobby,” Sally grinned, waggling her eyebrows.

“You’re insane,” was Justin’s immediate and typical response to one of Sally’s plots.

“You’re just mad cause you didn’t think of it first,” Sally said quite smugly, stealing back her drink. “So what did you and the Big Bad do last night?”

Slipping out of his backpack, Justin brought it in front of him and checked inside to make sure that he hadn’t forgotten his paper that was due for English. “He, um, he picked me up from the munchers and took me out to dinner at Papagano’s.”

“Why were you at Mel and Lindsay’s? Were you babysitting Gus or something?” Sally asked, staring at him in slight confusion.

“No. I’m, um... I’m living there. At least for now,” Justin said honestly, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to keep things from her and that it was better to tell her up front than to let her figure it out later.

Sally stopped dead and grabbed hold of Justin’s arm to make sure that he didn’t move any further. “Why aren’t you living at the loft? That’s your home, Justin.”

“I know it is,” Justin confirmed, zipping up his backpack to avoid having to meet Sally’s eyes. “That’s not changing. I’m just going to be living with Lindsay and Gus for a little while.”

“Why?” Sally demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.

Finally meeting her gaze, Justin shrugged his shoulders slightly. “It’s... complicated. Look, Sally, it’s not that big a deal.”

“Not a big deal?” Sally shouted, earning them the attention of the people nearby in the hallway. “You moved out of your own home, Justin. I think that’s classified as a big deal. Now you’re going to give me details and you’re going to give them to me now.”

Justin started to protest, but Sally latched onto his arm and dragged him down the corridor towards the video studies room where she had more or less taken up residence that semester. As student producer, Sally was doing everything possible to turn the school production of Romeo and Juliet into a multi-media event. She and Justin had already been on a few field trips to get some scenery footage.

“So what happened?” Sally asked as she closed the door behind them. “Why aren’t you living with Brian anymore?”

Somewhat haltingly, Justin relayed the events of two nights before, trying to remain as casual about it as possible. Even so, knowing Sally the way he did he knew that she was going to react drastically. It was part of her dramatic nature.

So it was no surprise to him that she began pacing back and forth, muttering under her breath.

“It’s not that big a deal, Sal,” Justin said, swinging his feet idly back and forth between the legs of the table he was sitting on. “You and I both know that Brian fucks anything that has a dick, I just kinda forgot about it. But now I remember so I can deal with it.”

“But you shouldn’t have to deal with it,” Sally protested as she sat down next to him. “Brian’s your boyfriend, you guys are in love... you should be enough for him.”

Sighing, Justin scrubbed his hands over his face. “Brian’s tricking as nothing to do with love,” he told her, dropping his hands down onto his lap. “It’s a release, purely physical. I may not like it very much, but it’s something that Brian’s been doing for his entire adult life and it’s not about to change overnight.”

“It’s been six months,” Sally reminded him. “Since September. It’s the end of February now so Brian’s had more than enough time to get accustomed to being monogamous.”

“That’s not true,” Justin informed her with a shake of his head.

“Fine, four months and change,” Sally amended. “Back when, you know... that other stuff happened.”

Justin shook his head again. “It has nothing to do with when Brian decided he loved me.”

“Then why does Brian insist on fucking around?”

Justin knew the answer to that question, at least to some extent. It was relating those reasons that were problematic because Justin didn’t feel comfortable talking about Brian’s past with someone who wasn’t the man in question. Brian was very private about his past and Justin wasn’t going to share his secrets, even to his best friend.

“Look, Sally, it’s really not that big a deal,” Justin repeated for what felt like the millionth time. “Brian loves me... he just also happens to have these fucked up views of self-image and self-worth. But, the fact is, I still have to figure out what I’m going to do about next year, university and all that shit.”

“I still say you should apply to PIFA,” Sally told him, handing over her iced tea for him to finish. “You’ve got a lot of talent, Justin, it would be a shame to waste it.”

Justin quirked an eyebrow, relaxing his posture when it became obvious that Sally had dropped the subject, at least temporarily. “Don’t worry, I’ve already talked to Lindsay about putting a portfolio together.”

“Good, because I’d kick your ass for a week if you didn’t, babe,” Sally threatened, nudging her forehead against his temple.

“Whatever you say, babe,” Justin said, emphasizing the last word.

Even though he didn’t want it to, Justin felt slightly upset that Brian didn’t show up during his shift at the diner that night. Not wanting to sound needy, but still wanting to hear Brian’s voice, Justin called the loft. There was no answer there, so he tried Brian’s cell too. 

“If it’s not important, hang up now,” Brian’s voicemail ordered tersely.

“It’s just me,” Justin said into the phone. “I just thought I should warn you that Sally might be out for you blood.... I’ll talk to you later.”

Not being able to talk to Brian only increased Justin’s unease. He knew that Brian hadn’t been hurt or anything because someone would have called him.

Ignoring whatever was making him feel uneasy, Justin kept himself busy, hoping that it would keep him from thinking about Brian. It didn’t work too well so on his way to Lindsay’s after his shift, he took a detour and passed by the loft. He frowned when he saw that the ‘vette wasn’t parked out front and there were no lights on upstairs.

He still felt a little uneasy, but knowing that there was nothing that he could do, Justin made his way back to Lindsay’s. Gus was still awake when he got there so he relieved Lindsay so that she could go take a bath and laid down with Gus on the floor, playing with him. He propped a busy box against his chest which the infant was thrilled with. he was shouting and giggling much to Justin’s amusement. The infant talked non-stop, conversing with Justin in a language that he couldn’t understand.

“Do you know your Dadda’s up to?” Justin asked as Gus turned his attention from the busy box to Justin’s nose.

“Gaba da bada!” Gus chattered, looking quite seriously while poking at Justin’s cheek.

“You sure?”

Gus’ mouth split open in a huge yawn and began to scrub at his eyes. Rolling onto his back, Justin pulled Gus onto his chest. The infant snuggled down immediately, tucking his head under Justin’s chin and grabbing hold of his ear.

“I hope you dad’s not getting himself into any trouble,” Justin murmured, tilting his head enough to press a kiss to the top of Gus’ head.

It was around three in the morning when Justin was woken up by his cell phone ringing on the small table next to the bed. Fumbling in the darkness, he latched onto the phone and felt for the talk button.

“‘Lo,” Justin yawned into the phone, flopping onto his back.

“I think I fell off a pool table.”

Justin sat up, scrubbing his hands over his face to wake himself up. “Brian, is that you?”

“I think so,” Brian said after a long pause. He let out a slight giggle which Justin knew for a fact meant that the other man was drunk. “But I’m not really sure.”

“Where are you?” Justin asked around a yawn. “Are you at the loft?”

“I’m on the floor.... Next to the treadmill. I think I was trying to get to the chaise... or maybe the couch,” Brian mumbled. 

Already out of bed, Justin squinted to try and make out where he’d tossed his jeans. “How about you stay there on the floor and I’ll come over and help you to bed? Can you do that?”

Brian sniffled and was quiet for almost a full minute. “You’ll come home?”

He sounded so pathetic that Justin felt his heart clench. “For tonight, Bri.... Now will you stay where you are?”

“I’ll stay here,” Brian promised.

Before he could say anything else, Brian had hung up the phone. Justin was tempted to call him back, to make sure that Brian was all right. However, there was no guarantee that Brian would even pick up the phone so he got dressed instead. He kept the lights off, using the light from the streetlamp across the street to find his clothes and slipped into them, not caring that they were the same ones that he’d worn that day or that he would likely be wearing the next day. It was Saturday, anyway, so it wouldn’t matter.

Leaving a quick note for Lindsay in the kitchen, Justin grabbed his keys and left the house, locking the door after him. It was snowing heavily so Justin drove carefully through the dark streets of Pittsburgh. He wouldn’t be any help to Brian if he got in an accident. If anything, it would only make it worse because Brian would feel guilty for calling him in the middle of the night and forcing him on the streets.

But Justin knew that something was wrong. He’d heard it in his lover’s voice, hidden partially behind his drunken giggles. Something had obviously happened at some point during the day, but Justin didn’t know what it was yet.

When he pulled up in front of the loft fifteen minutes later, it didn’t surprise him that the ‘vette wasn’t parked out front. The lights were on up on the top floor, though, so he knew that Brian was in there. He may have gotten drunk on a semi-regular basis, but Mikey always drove him home when that happened, at least now that they had made their peace. Justin just hoped that nothing happened to Brian’s baby when it was parked in front of Mikey and Emmett’s apartment.

The door to the loft was wide open when he got to the top floor. 

The only reason Justin knew it hadn’t been robbed was the bucket of chicken and other take-out leftovers on the ground near the couch.

And, sure enough, he found Brian passed out near the treadmill.


	6. Hazy Sunshine

He wanted to die. He wanted to get Justin to come over and chop off his head so that he’d be put out of his misery.... Except without a head he wouldn’t make a beautiful corpse The mortician would probably do something sick and prop his head under his arm like the headless horseman.

Maybe blunt force trauma to the back of the head....

“So you’re awake.”

Moaning, Brian forced his eye open a crack, enough to peer up at Justin who was hovering over him. He shifted slightly and, over the pain in his head, he realized that he was in bed. Brian could distinctly remember lying down on the floor near the treadmill and couldn’t figure out how he’d gotten into bed.

“You’re home,” Brian mumbled, a goofy smile on his face. “How’d you know to come?”

“Because you called me,” Justin answered logically. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

Brian wracked his brains, trying to figure out what had happened, but he couldn’t concentrate. His head hurt too much.

“It must have been something big if you’d actually gorge yourself on fried chicken and other fatty foods,” Justin prodded, lightly smoothing his fingers through Brian’s hair.

“Fucking Michael,” Brian groaned without thought. “I’m taking one comic hostage for each pound he made me gain.”

“So Michael’s the reason you got piss drunk and ate foods that you’d never touch?” Justin smirked, stretching himself out alongside Brian.

Instinctively, Brian rolled towards Justin. He wound himself around his boyfriend, burrowing his face into the blonde hair. Rather than trying to force the memories, Brian relaxed and hoped that they would come on their own. Instead of forming any coherent thought, Brian found himself drifting off into a pain-free oblivion. His senses overly sensitized from the vast amounts of alcohol and drugs he’d consumed the night before and he willingly allowed himself to be lulled into a place where it wouldn’t hurt.

Brian instead took comfort in Justin’s fingers as they were smoothing through his hair. It was so relaxing that Brian felt as though he would melt into the mattress at any moment. The fingers became more forceful, massaging his scalp and the thick muscles at the base of his neck.

“Love you, Justin. Never wanted to hurt you,” Brian mumbled, half asleep.

Justin’s lips brushed lightly against his forehead. “I know, Bri.”

“Still did, though. And now I’m being sued for sexual harassment by that fuck.”

Brian was dimly aware of Justin starting to say something, but he passed out again before the sentence was finished. He welcomed the blessed unconsciousness, not wanting to feel his head exploding any longer. If the pain was less he wouldn’t have to coax Justin into smashing in the back of his head so he wouldn’t feel as though something was trying to claw its way out of his skull.

A rat-like creature that resembled Kip Thomas.

It was the smell of coffee that woke Brian up a little while later. Even though the smell of the coffee should have indicated to him that Justin had gotten out of bed, Brian nonetheless reached across the mattress for his lover. The sheets were still a little warm which meant that Justin hadn’t been gone long. 

Justin’s absence from their bed had probably helped to wake him up. Brian had noticed several months before that he slept a great deal better when Justin was in the bed with him. This time around it was officially their bed because they were the only ones to sleep in it. No one else would ever sleep in it except for them.

“Justin....” Brian called as he carefully eased himself into a seated position. Slight as it was, the movement made his head pound and Brian had to hold himself completely still for a moment while it passed. 

With some cautious shuffling, Brian got himself over to the side of the bed and stood up. He had to piss something fierce which meant leaving the relative safety of the bed and making his way across the vast distance that separated it from the bathroom. He was just grabbing onto the side of the doorway that divided the two rooms when he heard the loft door slide open which meant that Justin must have gone out somewhere. Not wanting to slow down his momentum, Brian continued on towards the toilet, desperately needing to relieve his bladder.

“Hey. Feeling better?” Justin asked quietly as Brian was rising his hands in the sink a minute or so later.

“Depends on your definition of ‘better,’ Sunshine,” Brian smirked, accepting the towel Justin was holding out towards him.

“That bad, huh?” Brian murmured sympathetically. “You feel up to having a shower?”

Brian winced as the water began to pelt against his body. He leaned against Justin, waiting for the heat to soak into his muscles and wash away the smell of smoke and alcohol which permeated his skin.

“So you fell off a pool table last night?” Justin questioned as he began to massage shampoo into Brian’s scalp. “Do I even want to know how you ended up on the pool table in the first place?”

Glancing at Justin in confusion, Brian furrowed his brows painfully. “I fell off a pool table?”

“That’s what you told me last night when you called. It’s how I knew to come home,” Justin informed him.

“Oh.”

The rest of the shower existed in relative silence. Under normal circumstances, showering together, regardless of whether Brian was hung over or not, resulted in the two of them having sex in some form or another. But Justin was still hurting and Brian wasn’t going to push him into something he wasn’t ready for.

Not having the inclination or energy to shave, Brian simply donned a pair of grey sweatpants before stumbling over to the couch.

And that was as far as he was going. 

Brian had no intentions of moving another step unless it was absolutely necessary. 

“So why is that guy suing you for sexual harassment?” Justin asked as he handed Brian a cup of coffee.

Brian chuckled mirthlessly as he wrapped his long fingers around the mug. “Well apparently not helping a fellow fag get a promotion is reason enough.”

“That’s fucked up,” Justin told him, sitting down near his hip. He then reached up to push Brian’s damp bangs away from his forehead.

“Fucked up or not, he’s still suing and if he wins I’ll be out of a job and broke,” Brian lamented as he set the mug down on his thigh. “Ryder’s seriously freaked by it so I have to stay at home till it’s dealt with. I’m not getting paid either and--”

Someone knocking at the door interrupted Brian and caused a flash of pain radiating through his skull.

“Make it stop,” Brian moaned pathetically, sinking into the cushions.

The couch moved as Justin stood up and Brian had to brace himself so that the movements would jar his fragile head. He winced slightly as Justin pulled the door open and squeezed his eyes shut.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Brian groaned inwardly when he heard Sally’s voice. He had known that it was inevitable that she would give her two cents and then some, but he had hoped that it wouldn’t happen when he was so completely hung over. 

“So where’s the asshole?” Sally demanded after whatever response Justin gave for his presence. “Did he crawl into a deep, dark hole?”

“I can hear you, you know,” Brian called out, cracking an eye open.

“Well, well, well, look what crawled into the loft,” Sally mused, bouncing in his direction and pointing a sucker in his direction.

“Hello to you too,” Brian grumbled. “Now go away, I want to die in peace.”

Sally sat herself down on the opposite side of the couch with a dramatic flourish. “I’m thinking no. In fact, I was planning on giving you a peace of my mind, but with Justin here I think I’ll save that for a later date.”

“Lucky me,” Brian chuckled mirthlessly.

“Don’t you have to go pretend to be a dutiful granddaughter or something?” Justin prodded, coming up behind Brian and lightly massaging the base of his skull.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?” Sally asked, an eyebrow arching in the direction of her purple bangs.

“Now what would give you that idea?” Brian smirked.

“Look, Sal, we’ve got some things to talk about. Stuff that can’t really be done in front of an audience,” Justin added, his fingers still working magic on Brian’s stiff neck.

Sally sighed dramatically. “Fine. Then you’ll just have to wait to find out about my great money-making scheme then.”

“You’re not making a dildo molded off of Brian’s cock,” Justin sighed, obviously having heard about this plan before. “So just go visit your grandma and tell her hi for me.”

When she was gone, Brian and Justin enjoyed a few moments of peace, Brian willing away the throbbing pain in his skull. He didn’t remember most of what had happened the night before after he and Mikey had left the loft, but he had been glad that his friend had been there to help him forget what was going on. It must have been something spectacular if Brian felt as awful as he did then.

As it was, Brian was willing to do anything necessary to not feel as though his head was about to implode, including putting up with the blender roaring for a few minutes while Justin cooked up some secret hangover remedy that his grandmother supposedly used all the time. When that failed to do anything but make Brian feel as though he was about to vomit, Justin moved on to the more traditional method of aspirin and a washcloth over his eyes.

Just as Brian was starting to feel as though the hangover was going to admit defeat, there was yet another loud pounding on the door that sent it throbbing again.

“Get the door,” Brian mumbled, sinking into the couch as much as he was able. “Make it stop.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think that you’d never had a hangover in your life,” Justin teased, letting his fingers trail through Brian’s hair as he passed by him.

“I haven’t,” Brian protested weakly, knowing that he sounded pathetic, but not caring too much at the moment. At least he could blame his condition on the horrible concoction Justin had tried to feed him after Sally left.

Trusting Justin to get rid of whoever was on the other side of the door-- unless it was Melanie, then he had no choice but to let her in --Brian tried to ignore the throbbing between his temples and slip back into blessed unconsciousness. He pulled the cool washcloth down further over his eyes and winced as the heavy metal door was thrown open. One day he was going to have to break down and grease the tracks that it ran along to stop the grinding noise it made whenever it was opened.

“I’m the boyfriend,” Justin said as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

Which it was. Justin was his boyfriend. His partner. His lover. His friend. While he didn’t think he’d ever be ready to walk down the aisle with Justin in matching Vera Wang’s, Brian knew that he had no intentions of letting the blonde go any time soon.

“What in the hell are you talking about?!”

In the next instant, Brian’s hangover was completely forgotten.

His father had decided to pay him a visit.

“Heya, Pops,” Brian greeted, uncurling himself from the couch and moved more towards the center of the room. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“You’re gonna start by telling me what this boy is talking about,” Jack ordered, glaring at Justin before stalking across the room to where his son stood. “Whose boyfriend is he?”

Brian met Justin’s remorseful gaze and shrugged his shoulders slightly before looking back over at his father. “Justin, this is my father, Jack Kinney. Pops, this is Justin Taylor. My lover.”

He hadn’t realized how close he was standing to his father until his head was forced sideways by the force of Jack’s hand slamming across his cheek. Will away the nausea that the sudden movement caused, Brian raised a hand to cheek and slowly turned back to the older man. Brian refused to allow his father to get to him anymore. He had known all along that Jack wouldn’t react well to the news that he was queer and it was part of the reason why he’d never wanted to come out to his parents. The main reason, though, was because it honestly wasn’t any of their business. It was his life, not theirs, and he could fuck whoever he wanted.

“Well you picked a hell of a time to tell me you’re a fairy. As if I don’t have enough to deal with,” Jack growled, leaning in close to Brian so that they stood almost eye to eye. “You’re the one that should be dying instead of me.”

“Dying? Since when?” Brian asked warily, noticing Justin moving towards him out of the corner of his eye.

Jack glowered at Justin as he moved to Brian’s side. “It started last summer. My brilliant doctors discovered something in my lungs.... But now it seems it’s everywhere.”

“Sorry,” Brian mumbled, not knowing what else to say.

“I’m sure you are,” Jack grumbled, his eyes boring into the two of them. 

The look made Brian feel like a little kid again, one who was terrified of his father because he never knew what would happen from one moment to the next.

“You’re a disgrace to me, Sonnyboy. A disgrace to me and to your mother,” Jack ground out, pointing a finger in Brian’s direction. “The Warden shoulda done what I asked in the first place and got rid of you before you were even born. What a waste.”

“Where the hell do you get off!” Justin shouted, moving so that he was standing half in front of Brian in a protective manner. “He’s your son, not some unwanted transient.”

“How dare you speak to me like that, boy,” Jack growled, advancing half a step towards the pair.

As Brian had expected, Justin didn’t back down in the least. “I’ll talk to you however I want, you selfish old prick. I’m not going to let you treat Brian like that. It’s not his fault that you’re sick or that he’s gay. Brian was just programmed that way and as far as I’m concerned he’s all the better for it. Brian is a wonderful man and if you can’t see that then that’s you’re problem.”

“Are you going to let him talk to me like that, Sonnyboy?” Jack asked in the silence that followed Justin’s angry declarations.

Brian’s only response was to remain silent. He didn’t have the energy to deal with his father at that point in time. At the same time, he wasn’t going to let Justin face off against Jack on his own. He didn’t want to give Jack the opportunity to hurt him in some way.

“You’ve delivered your message, Pops, so you can go now,” Brian said at last, moving around Justin and heading over to the front door. Throwing all his weight into the effort, Brian opened the heavy metal door and stood leaning against it. “If you need any help with medical expenses give me a call, but otherwise I don’t want to hear from you.”

“Don’t tell your mother about this. She’ll be in church three times a day praying for your soul,” Justin said simply as he passed by Brian on his way out of the loft.

Brian waited until the elevator started to move down to the main floor before shutting the door. Huffing loudly, Brian stood with his back leaning against the door, willing away the trembling he could feel beginning in his body. He was a grown man, he shouldn’t have been afraid of his father any more.

“How’s your head?” Justin murmured, reaching a hand up to stroke Brian’s abused cheek.

“I just want this week to be over,” Brian sighed, leaning into Justin’s touch and winding his arm around the blonde’s waist. “You don’t have some kind of time machine, do you?”

Justin wound his free arm around Brian’s shoulders, returning the embrace. “I wish that I did. But we’ll just have to stick together and deal with everything.”

“I’d understand if you wanted to bail until all this shit with Kip Thomas is over,” Brian mumbled into Justin’s shoulder. “I wouldn’t blame you.”

Justin shook his head emphatically. “Not happening. You’ve stuck by me through all sorts of awful stuff so I’m going to stick by you.”

Brian eased himself out of Justin’s embrace, leaning back against the door. “This isn’t some kind of repayment plan, Sunshine. I helped you because I wanted to. Because I love you.”

“Well I love you too, Brian, and I’m not letting you go through this alone,” Justin informed him, his clear eyes boring into Brian’s.

The only thing that Brian could do was offer Justin a small, thankful smile, relieved that Justin wouldn’t abandon him.


	7. Hazy Sunshine

Even though he was not completely over what had happened on Wednesday night, Justin had barely left the loft the entire weekend. He had stayed with Brian all day Saturday, helping him through his hangover and dealing with his father’s startling revelation. After Jack had left, Brian had fallen into a brooding silence, absently rubbing at his injured cheek as he lay sprawled on the couch. After placing a mellow instrumental jazz CD on, Justin had joined Brian on the couch, slipping in behind him and began to lightly run his hands over his lover’s upper body.

Sunday had been equally unproductive with them watching movies around a mid-afternoon visit from Melanie. Justin hadn’t been sure whether to be surprised or not when he’d found out that she was Brian’s attorney for the sexual harassment suit. Their relationship was strained at best, even worse since she and Lindsay had split up, so having her actually defending Brian had thrown Justin for a loop. It also made him very wary.

“You won’t purposely screw him over, will you?” Justin asked as he stood with Melanie as they waited for the elevator to make its way to the top floor.

Melanie gave him an odd look. “What are you talking about?”

“With the lawsuit,” Justin pressed, scrubbing his fingers through his hair. “You’re not going to treat Brian different than any other client you represent?”

“I do have some integrity, you know,” Melanie snapped, irritably tugging at her coat. “Regardless of what I think of Brian, I’m not going to let that effect my performance.”

“I’m not trying to insult you, Mel,” Justin assured her. “I’m just looking out for Brian.”

Melanie snorted and leaned down to pulled up the grate in front of the elevator. “Brian is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. He doesn’t need you to fight his battles for him.”

“I’m not fighting his battles,” Justin informed her, reaching a hand out to place on her arm. “I’m just the guy in the corner cheering him on. Making sure that he doesn’t get fucked over by someone he should be able to trust.”

“I’m not going to fuck him over,” Melanie promised him, lightly patting Justin’s hand which was resting on her arm. “I have every intention of winning this case.”

Justin grinned broadly, backing towards the loft door as Melanie stepped into the elevator. “I actually feel sorry for the other lawyer. You’re gonna kick his ass.”

“You take care of yourself,” Melanie said with all seriousness. “Don’t let Brian suck you back in before you’re ready.”

“I’m fine, Mel. I know what I’m doing,” Justin promised her.

Having spent both Saturday and Sunday at the loft, Justin was almost hesitant to leave Monday morning despite Brian’s promise that he would behave himself. With the exception of his binge on Friday night, Brian had seemed to be coping rather well with the situation. He had been calm and collected and not the least bit standoff-ish. It was those factors that had Justin the most worried.

It wasn’t hard to guess the reason for Brian’s almost Zen-like facade. In only a few days, Brian had had several huge crisises thrown his way, one on top of the other without any time to orient himself in between. Even knowing that his actions were legitimate, Justin still felt guilty for being one of the reasons behind Brian’s high stress level.

When he’d left the loft that morning, Brian had still been in bed. He hadn’t been asleep, but simply lying on his side staring at the opaque glass partitions as Justin hurried to get himself ready for school. He’d barely even acknowledged Justin’s farewell, leaning into his touch slightly as Justin caressed his cheek, but nothing more.

“Hey, Justin. Can I talk to you for a minute?” Billy asked, appearing suddenly at Justin’s side as he was searching through his locker for his English book.

Suddenly realizing that the book was at Lindsay’s, Justin gave up his search and turned towards the other teen. “Sure. What’s up?”

“I, um... I wanted to know how you and Brian were doing,” Billy stammered, not meeting the blonde’s eyes.

Billy’s nervously instantly had Justin on edge. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, my aunt was over on Saturday. She and my mom always have coffee together on Saturdays and I went into the kitchen to make something for lunch and I heard them talking,” Billy explained, his gaze still not traveling anywhere near Justin’s as it began to dart around. “My aunt was all freaked out because my cousin had just filed suit against one of his bosses. Apparently the guy said that if my cousin let him fuck him that he’d help him get ahead in the company. He did, but the guy went back on his promise....”

“I don’t fucking believe it,” Justin gasped, mentally smacking himself upside the head. “You’re related to that asshole Kip?”

“Unfortunately, yeah,” Billy confirmed, ducking his head apologetically. “He’s my cousin... and he really doesn’t like not getting his own way.”

“Tell me something I don’t know,” Justin grumbled as he slipped the strap of his backpack over his shoulder. “You know that he’s lying through his teeth about what Brian supposedly did, right?”

Billy nodded his head immediately. “I’ve heard enough stories about Brian to know that he doesn’t need to bribe someone to get him into bed.”

“It’s not just that,” Justin protested angrily. “Even if he wasn’t the uncrowned king of Babylon, Brian still wouldn’t do something like that. He has too much integrity.”

“I know that, Justin,” Billy was quick to agree.

Pressing the heels of his palms against his closed eyes, Justin let out a loud breath. “I’m sorry, Billy. Things have just been really insane since last week and I haven’t had much of a chance to catch my breath.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry about what Kip’s doing to you and Brian,” Billy volunteered when Justin lowered his hands.

“Tell you what, you give me a picture of your cousin and we’ll call it even,” Justin grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at the other teen.

It was a thought that Justin had been idly playing over in his mind since Melanie’s visit the previous day. It was a longshot and he would undoubtedly get in all sorts of shit from Brian if he actually went through with it, but Justin honestly didn’t know what else he could do to help. Just standing by on the sidelines wasn’t an option, not after everything Brian had done for him in the past six months. Brian hadn’t even known who he was that first night and he’d still taken more care of him. Let him name his son and loved him when he’d felt like nothing more than a waste of a human form.

So Justin was going to do whatever he could to make sure that Brian didn’t lose everything because of that asshole Kip Thomas.

“Why do you need a picture of Kip?” Billy asked, his grey eyes full of suspicion.

“Because I want to know what this asshole looks like,” Justin said with an absent shrug. It was partially the truth because Justin had never actually seen Kip’s face. And he would definitely need to know what the other man looked like if he was going to help Brian.

Billy hesitated for a moment then nodded his head. “Sure. Following me to my place after school and I’ll get you a picture of him.”

For the rest of the day, Justin went over in his head what he had planned. He wasn’t completely sure that he would be able to go through with it. He had to, though. Justin was going to do everything he could to make sure that Brian got through the trouble Kip was causing unscathed. At the very least he owed it to Brian after everything his lover had done for him.

“You have something planned, don’t you?” Billy asked as he handed the picture over to Justin later that afternoon. “You don’t exactly strike me as the kind of person to just stand by and let things happen.”

Justin quirked a smile, his eyes lighting over the figure in the photograph. “I’m not going to let anything hurt Brian.”

“That’s not the least bit ominous,” Billy smirked, arching an eyebrow. “You’re not going to do anything drastic, are you?”

“Nothing that doesn’t need to be done,” was the only answer that Justin was going to give him.

After leaving Billy’s, Justin made a quick stop at the loft before heading over to the diner for the dinner shift. He had the photograph stuffed in his back pocket and a change of clothes stuffed in his backpack. Justin was glad that Brian hadn’t been home because he hadn’t wanted to explain why he was bringing a pair of jeans that were just tight enough around the hips to accentuate his ass and a form fitting black tee. The only time Justin wore clothes like that was when he and Brian went to Babylon.

“Hey, Boy Wonder,” Michael greeted as he slid into a stool in front of the counter. “Did Batman survive the weekend?”

“No thanks to you,” Justin snorted, his voice lacking any malice.

Over the past few month, he and Michael had come to an odd sort of truce. While Justin knew that he would never be able to trust Michael after what he had allowed to happen, he refused to be the reason for a fourteen year friendship falling apart. So as Brian started spending more time with his best friend, Justin encouraged Brian to do just that.

“I’d keep your eyes on your comic books for the next little while,” Justin warned the older man. “Brian’s convinced he put on weight because of that little feast the two of you had on Friday and he’s threatening to steal some of your comics.”

“He would too,” Michael mumbled, glancing warily towards the door as though he were about to bolt.

Justin glanced down at his waist momentarily as he tied his apron before looking back at Michael. “Thanks for taking him out Friday. Brian really needed to let loose like that. But could you maybe not let him fall off a pool table next time.”

“He fell off a pool table?” Michael asked, furrowing his brows.

“Well at least Brian’s not the only one who got completely plastered on Friday,” Justin smirked with a roll of his eyes. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have other people to wait on.”

Throughout the course of his shift, Ted, Emmett and David also made appearances at the diner. All of them were more or less discreetly asking after Brian, trying to find out how he was doing without asking outright. Justin remained equally discreet, not wanting to share Brian’s secrets with the others. There was no need for them to know just how freaked out Brian was by the whole thing. Not that Brian would ever let on. 

“How are you holding up, baby?” Emmett asked, holding back as the others made their way to Woody’s for a round of pool.

“I’m fine, Em,” Justin said immediately, a wide smile plastered on his face. It was the same expression he had adopted whenever someone asked him about the lawsuit because there was no other answer he could really give. As far as Justin was concerned it didn’t matter how he was doing because it was Brian who was important in this latest crisis.

The flamboyant queen would not be put off, though. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at the blonde. “I want the truth, baby. How is his royal badness’ latest crisis effecting you?”

“I’m worried about Brian,” Justin admitted, scrubbing his hand over his hair. “Every is really out of control right now and he doesn’t need this. All the stuff with Gus and Mel and Lindz and becoming partner... it’s just too much.”

“Don’t you worry, if I know Brian at all, he’ll come out of this on top,” Emmett assured him, winding his arms around Justin’s shoulders. “He always does.”

Justin nodded slightly, giving Emmett a quick squeeze. “I know, Em. He just might need a little help getting there.”

“Then you go home and take care of your man,” Emmett instructed as he pulled back slightly to peer down at Justin’s face.

“I will,” Justin promised.

When his shift ended at ten, Justin immediately made his way into the washroom to change. He knew that if he was going to go through with it it would have to happen that night. The next morning Brian and Mel had a meeting with Kip and his lawyer about a settlement.

“And just where are you off to in such a hurry, Picaso?”

Justin flashed Irina a quick grin as he rushed out of the diner. He could only hope that he didn’t appear anywhere near as nervous as he felt.

Pushing that aside, for the moment, Justin quickly made his way over to the Jeep and tossed his bag in the backseat before heading to Babylon. Justin figured that he might as well start there because just about ever fag in Pittsburgh under the age of forty would make the pilgrimage there at least once a week. The ones who weren’t in a relationship even more than that. Justin conveniently pushed aside the fact that Brian still surveyed his playground at least four times a week.

As he neared Babylon, Justin pulled out his cellphone and dialed the loft. Brian knew that he was only working till ten and Justin didn’t want him to think that he was abandoning him in favour of going back to Lindsay’s.

“Let me guess, the Smurf is kidnapping you,” Brian said in lieu of a greeting.

Saved from having to come up with some kind of excuse, Justin simply played along. “For a few hours, yeah. But I promise to escape before eleven.”

“Don’t rush on my account, Sunshine. I’m still trying to put my manhood back together after the pummeling she gave it earlier.”

“Please tell me that you’re talking metaphorically and that she didn’t try to castrate you like she was threatening today,” Justin pleaded, squeezing his eyes shut to block out the image of Sally turning his lover into a eunuch.

“I’m still in one piece,” Brian promised him.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can to kiss it better. Later.”

“Later,” Brian mumbled around a snort of laughter.

Bolstered somewhat by his conversation with Brian, Justin entered the club with renewed determination. He handed over his coat and made his way directly to the catwalk so that he could more easily scout out Kip among the revelers.

It took him only a few minutes later, grinding up against a lithe brunette who looked a like Brian from above. One of the main reasons he could tell that it wasn’t his lover, besides the fact that the man was with Kip, was the fact that he was dancing a lot better than Brian was capable of. Not that Justin ever minded. He loved dancing with Brian.

“Hey,” Justin murmured as he slid himself between Kip and his current dance partner.

It took Kip a couple of seconds to focus on him, but when he did a sly smile spread across his features. “You're a hot little fucker.”

Playing the role of the seducer, Justin pressed himself up against Kip. “You're pretty hot yourself.”

Now that he had started his game, Justin felt waves of nausea tumbling in his stomach. Especially when Kip began pawing at him and grinding against him. Brian was the only one who ever touched him like that and Justin felt sick to his stomach to have someone else’s hands on him.

Swallowing that fear, Justin was able to lure Kip into the backroom with relative ease. His tremor as Kip slammed him against one of the walls was masked by a gasp of feigned pleasure.

“Oh yeah!” Kip moaned as he pushed Justin’s tee up to reveal the smooth expanse of his chest. He immediately focused his attention on Justin’s nipples, worrying them with his fingers, coaxing them into hard nubs.

Justin shivered once again, squeezing his eyes shut tight. It was taking every ounce of will power he had to keep from bolting rather than playing things out. “Go ahead. Lick it.... That's it..... You're hotter than the guy I had last week.”

“Is that so?” Kip murmured against his chest.

Forcing his eyes open, Justin glanced down at the guy currently sucking at his nipples. “Mhmmm. He wanted to put me in short pants and spank me.”

There was some truth to it. Brian would smack his ass so hard he wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week if he found out about what he was doing.

“I wanna do a lot more than that,” Kip promised him, sliding a hand down to unfasten Justin’s jeans.

“Like what?” Justin asked, arching an eyebrow at the man who was now down on his knees.

“How 'bout I show you.”

In the next moment, Justin’s jeans were down around his ankles and his bare ass was against the cold wall. Despite himself, as Kip began to fondle his cock, he started to get hard. Knowing that he had to play the role for a bit longer, he pretended that it was Brian who was sucking at his stomach.

As Kip began to nuzzle his balls, Justin knew that he couldn’t keep it up much longer. “You'd better hurry, though.”

“What's the rush?” Kip demanded as he sat back on his heels to stare up at the teen.

“I've got a stupid curfew, can you believe it?” Justin grumbled in annoyance, rolling his eyes. “My parents want me home by midnight.”

Kip snickered, sliding his hands up and down Justin’s thighs. “You live with your parents?”

“Where else would I live? I'm 17,” Justin said in the same tone he used when talking to Gus... or Sally when she was on a sugar high.

“You're 17?” Kip asked, staring up at him in disbelief. “So, how do you get into bars?”

Justin could not believe that Kip was such a dense idiot. It was no wonder Brian refused to promote Kip for the position. “Duh. Like a fake ID.... I don't tell my dad, though. He goes totally psycho. Like he did when he found out I was gay,” Justin mumbled casually, glancing around in boredom, or as close as he could come to it when he was on the verge of freaking out.

“You're dad went psycho?” Kip promised, his unease already beginning to show.

Justin nodded his head, smirking slightly. “He went after the guy I was fucking at the time. Turned him into the police.”

Kip was on his feet in an instant. “The police?”

“He'll be out in eight years...,” Justin assured him, pretending to be completely innocent. Moments later the smirk appeared once again and he laughed slightly. “If he knew I was here....”

“Now how would he know?” Kip asked, staring at Justin suspiciously.

“Oh, there's no way,” Justin murmured, relief and panic warring inside him. “Unless, I told him.”

“But, you wouldn't do that. Would you?”

Justin shook his head, a wide grin appearing on his face. “Of course not.... I would never do anything like that....” Justin smile grew even more in the next instant. “Provided you do something for me.”


	8. Hazy Sunshine

Reaching around blindly, Brian fumbled for the bottle of Jim Beam he’d gotten out immediately after Sally’s departure around nine. The teen had been in rare form, making sure that he knew exactly what she thought of what he had done to Justin. It didn’t matter that he and Justin had more or less made peace and that the blonde was once again living with him, Sally was on the warpath, defending her best friend’s honour. And even though he was on the receiving end of Sally’s anger, Brian was glad that Justin had her in his corner the same way he’d always had Michael.

Brian’s questing fingers failed to find the bottle of alcohol, but they did brush over the phone just as it started ringing. Brian startled slightly at the sound, but wound his fingers around the plastic object and lifted it from the ground. Squinting at the small screen, Brian realized that he didn’t recognize the number.

“You’d better have a good reason for calling so late,” Brian grumbled into the phone as he scrubbed a hand over his eyes.

“Brian Kinney?” the timid voice on the other side inquired.

Brian let out an annoyed sigh. “That’s me. Who are you?”

“Billy Thomas,” the voice identified himself. “I’m a friend of Justin’s. Is he there?”

“Nope. No Sunshine here,” Brian mumbled, switching the phone to his opposite hand so that he could restart his search for his missing bottle of Jim Beam that was located somewhere around the chaise. “I think he said something about Sally taking him hostage.”

“I just got off the phone with Sally, he’s not there,” Billy contradicted him.

Frustrated that he couldn’t find the bottle, Brian sat up straighter so that he could get a better look. Somehow the bottle had ended up at the foot of the chaise. “Why is it so important that you find him?”

“Because I think he’s going after Kip Thomas.”

That single sentence stopped Brian in his tracks. Bottle of Beam forgotten, Brian slumped back into the chaise.

“Please tell me that I heard you wrong,” Brian told the man on the other end of the line.

“Wish that I could,” the kid mumbled. “Justin asked me for a picture of Kip and for some idiotic reason I actually gave him one. Look, Justin sounded really determined to do something about my asshole cousin so I thought I’d check up on him.”

“I’m going to ring that little twink’s neck,” Brian hissed, rolling off of the chaise in a single fluid motion and starting towards the bedroom. “Did Justin give you any hint about what he was planning on doing?”

“Nothing,” Billy mumbled, sounding as frustrated as Brian felt.

Rolling his eyes, Brian fished his boots out of the closet with one hand, the other continuing to hold the phone up to his ear. “I’m gonna fucking kill him.... Look, kid, thanks for calling. I’m going to go track down my twink and properly wring his neck.”

Billy started to say something, but Brian hung up before he could hear what it was. He tossed the phone onto the bed and stomped his boots on, zipping them up quickly. Brian snatched up the deep red cashmere sweater he’d been wearing earlier on his way out of the room, slipping into it as he made his way towards the door.

Even though he’d voiced nothing but annoyance while on the phone with Billy, it was all that Brian could do to keep from panicking as he rushed out of the loft. Not bothering with the elevator, he bolted down the stairs, slipping into his coat on the way. He knew his blonde counterpart enough to be fully convinced that he was doing exactly what Billy feared he was. 

His gut telling him that Justin would be at Babylon, Brian drove straight there. The loft wasn’t very far from his playground, but Brian still broke a few speed laws to get there. He didn’t want to give Kip the chance to do anything to Justin. Or for Justin to get himself into any trouble on his behalf. There was no telling what Justin was planning and with his devious mind it could very well be anything.

It took even less time to find Justin then he’d thought it would.

Having parked in a nearby alley, Brian stalked towards Babylon, ignoring everyone who was attempting to gain his attention. His only goal was to find his wayward lover and bring him home before he got himself hurt. While he didn’t know for sure whether Justin was hurt or not, Brian was relieved when he saw Justin standing huddled under the streetlamp in front of the dance club.

“Deb’ll kick my ass if you stay out here too long and get pneumonia,” Brian said casually as he came to stand within feet of the teen. “And seeing as how we’re both quite fond of my ass, that’s not a good thing.”

Sniffling, Justin managed to quirk a slight smile at the comment. “You’re ass is definitely worth saving.”

“I’m glad to hear you think so, but I don’t think it requires whatever you’ve been up to,” Brian chastised, reaching a hand out to cup Justin’s chilled cheek.

“How do you...?” Justin gasped, staring up at Brian with wide eyes.

Brian kept his expression neutral, not wanting to alarm the artist. “Your friend Billy called. He was worried about some insane scheme you were plotting and wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“I, um....”

“Do you want to tell me what you were up to?” Brian murmured, stroking Justin’s cheek with the pad of his thumb. “Why you needed a picture of the asshole?”

Justin sighed heavily, leaning into Brian’s touch. “I needed it for the exact same reason I told Billy: so that I’d know what that asshole looked like.”

“But you saw him that night in the loft,” Brian protested, swallowing the lump that formed in his throat when he thought of that night.

“The only person I saw that night was you,” Justin murmured. “Kip was just some person-shaped blob at the time. I pretty much just blocked him out if I even registered seeing him at all. It’s no big deal, Brian.”

“Then why were you standing out here in the freezing cold when you could be at home? Or with Sally like you told me on the phone?” Brian inquired, trying to sound casual even though his eyes were boring into Justin the entire time.

“Can’t we just leave it as it is and go home?” Justin protested feebly.

“We can go home, but we won’t be leave it,” Brian informed him, leaning in to brush a kiss against Justin’s forehead.

“I wanted to help you,” Justin whimpered, raising his hands to clutch at Brian’s hips. “After everything you’ve done to me I wanted to be able to help you just once.”

Brian smiled against the blonde’s temple as he wound his free arm around him. “You didn’t have to do that. You shouldn’t have done that.”

"How come you get to do whatever you can to protect me and I can't return the favour?" Justin demanded hotly, shoving himself away from Brian until he bumped against the streetlamp. “I love you Brian and I should be able to help you the same way you’ve always helped me. Why can’t I help you?”

"Because you matter."

Justin’s entire face crumbled and he reached out for Brian who immediately wrapped him up in his arms. “I couldn’t let him hurt you. I don’t want anyone to hurt you.”

Not wanting to let all the fags in Pittsburgh witness what was happening, Brian steered Justin back towards the ‘vette. Justin was huddled against his side, snuffling occasionally, as Brian led him away from Babylon. He wanted to be angry with Justin for what he’d done. The blonde didn’t seem to realize just what could have happened to him if Kip had found out who he was.

“You’re not angry with me, are you?” Justin mumbled as he pulled away from Brian when they reached the Corvette.

“Have I ever told you that the mind reading thing you do really creeps me out?” Brian inquired with a smirk.

A slight smile appeared on Justin’s face. “What mind reading thing?”

“That one where you say what I’m thinking.”

“What if it’s you that’s doing it?” Justin countered as he leaned against the passenger door of the ‘vette. “You could be using some mind control ray on me getting me to think whatever you want.”

Glad to see Justin relaxing somewhat, Brian played along. He tiled his head down and stared at Justin from under his lashes. Wavering slightly, Justin brought a hand to his head as he held Brian’s gaze.

“Drop my pants.... Bend over....” Justin mumbled dazedly. He then shook his head slightly as though attempting to clear the daze. “How about we wait till we get home before I do that?”

“Actually, I think we’ll wait until after I find out just what you’ve been up to,” Brian smirked before crossing over to the driver’s side.

“I took him to the backroom, let him take my pants down then told him I was jailbait and that my father would send him to prison if he didn’t do something for me.”

Justin’s revelation stopped Brian in his tracks. He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Brian had known that Justin had done something with Kip-- his frazzled nerves attested to that --but he never would have guessed that was what Justin had done. It killed him that Justin had done that, especially for his sake.

Brian clenched the keys tightly in his fist, his opposite hand resting on the hood of the vehicle. “Justin....”

“I’m not going to apologize for what I did,” Justin insisted, folding his arms across his chest. “You didn’t do what Kip says you did and I wasn’t going to let him get away with it. The law couldn’t care less about queers and I didn’t want to chance anything happening to you. If you’d lost--”

“If I’d lost, I would have had to pay Kip a shit load of money and probably ended up without a job,” Brian interrupted him, his voice stern. “Now get in the car.”

Justin shook his head and began to back away from the Corvette. “No. I think.... I’d rather just drive the Jeep back. I’m going to need it in the morning and this’ll save Lindsay having to drop me off here.”

“Lindsay? But I thought... Nevermind,” Brian sighed, snaking the fingers of his free hand into his hair. “I won’t stop you from doing what you think you have to; you won’t listen to me anyway. Come home whenever.”

“Brian, I’m not--”

“I’m not going to play games with you anymore, Justin,” Brian said with a shake of his head. “You keep changing the rules on me and I’m through. I don’t like games. So you get whatever it is you need to out of your system.”

“Brian....”

“You know where to find me,” Brian murmured, not daring to look at Justin a moment longer because he knew that if he did everything he’d just said would be meaningless.

At the same time, while he said those words, Brian was silently cursing himself. He had no right to lay the blame on Justin when it was his own stupidity that had gotten him into his current mess. He was the one who had fucked Kip, in the loft no less, and had done it more than once. Brian honestly wouldn’t have been surprised if Kip had gone back to his office the day they’d fucked and snatched up the used condom from the garbage to use in case he didn’t get his way.

Of course none of that made Justin’s rejection any easier to bear.

Leaving Justin standing on the sidewalk, Brian slid into the ‘vette and jammed his key into the ignition. He knew that he shouldn’t leave without Justin, but at the moment he didn’t have the energy to deal with his lover. There was just too much going on and though he knew that he was the reason Justin didn’t feel comfortable at the loft, the meeting he had first thing in the morning was momentarily more important.

Wanting to give Justin the chance to change his mind, Brian idled by the curb for a few minutes while he searched the stations on the radio for a descent song. He went through every station and back again, but Justin made no move to get into the car. Instead he turned and went back to wherever he had parked the jeep.

The next morning as he sat in the main boardroom of Ryder Advertising, Brian fidgeted nervously with one of his pens. He and Melanie were the only ones in the room at that point, having met earlier to go over Brian’s defense a final time.

“Look, Brian, I’ll do everything I can to make sure that you win this, but I’m not making any promises,” Melanie told him as she made a few notes on a yellow legal pad. 

Brian tossed the pen down on the table. “I wouldn’t believe you if you did.”

“I’m actually surprised that you haven’t been sued before this,” Melanie continued, amusement evident in her voice. “You always do what you want like there’s no consequences. Fate should have bit you in the ass long before this.”

“You would think that,” Brian snorted as he began to swish his chair from side to side.

Melanie turned her chair towards Brian, raising an eyebrow. “I suppose you’re going to tell me that I’m wrong. You’ve done nothing but fuck with my life since Gus was born and now I don’t even get to see my son on a regular basis.”

“Not my fault,” Brian shrugged absently. “Justin and I see Gus all the time.”

“Justin more than you,” Melanie pointed out smugly.

Brian glared at her momentarily before going back to his absent spinning. “Justin is doing what he has to and I respect that. Do I like it, no, but I’m not going to stop Justin from doing this. He needs to figure some things out and I’m giving him that time.”

“Brian Kinney, considerate lover. Who’d have thought anyone would ever live to see the day,” Melanie taunted.

Brian glared at his lawyer but remained silent. He didn’t care what Melanie or anyone else had to say about what was happening between him and Justin. Their relationship was their own business even if the rest of the family didn’t seem to understand that concept.

It didn’t surprise him when Marty ended the boardroom a few minutes later. Marty Ryder had a lot invested in the meeting. The thing that confused him was the broad smile on his boss’ face. Sure he had butted heads with Marty a lot over the years, but he didn’t think that the man would actually be glad to see him suffer. Especially not considering he was the one who had offered Brian the partnership.

“Legal just got a fax from Kip’s lawyer,” Marty announced right off the bat. “It seems that Kip has decided to drop his suit.”

Brian’s eyes bugged out despite himself. “He dropped the suit?”

“You lucked out, Brian, but I’d appreciate it if you didn’t chance it again.” With that, Marty turned and strode out of the room, leaving Brian and Melanie alone in the massive room.

“I don’t fucking believe it!” Melanie laughed, shaking her head in disbelief.

“The little shit actually did it,” Brian mumbled, leaning back in his chair. Until that moment he honestly hadn’t thought that Justin’s little game would work. It was too far fetched to actually believe.

Melanie glanced over at him as she began packing up her files. “I don’t know how you did it, Brian, but once again you came out without a scratch on you.”

“Send me your bill,” Brian said, standing up quickly. “I’ve gotta go.”

Not waiting for Melanie to say anything else, Brian stalked out of the boardroom, reaching for his cellphone in the inside right pocket of his jacket. He knew that Justin was in class at the moment, but there was still voicemail.

“Hey there, Sunshine,” Brian murmured after the tone. “I, um... I just wanted to thank you for what you did last night. I may not like that you put yourself at risk like that, but.... Thank you. I mean it. Give Sonnyboy a kiss for me.... I love you.”


	9. Hazy Sunshine

When he had first asked Lindsay if he could stay with her, Justin had only thought he’d be there for a few days. He may have talked big, but he hadn’t wanted to stay away from Brian for an extended period of time. A month later, Justin was still living in the guest room of Lindsay’s house. 

After a while, Justin was simply no longer sure how to go about returning to the loft. He felt awkward about simply appearing at the loft with his bags and expecting everything to go back to normal and wasn’t too sure about how to bring his moving home up with Brian. Several times, Justin had started to ask Brian about it, but would chicken out each time. 

“You’re lucky that you’re still a baby,” Justin said to Gus who was sitting against his propped up knees. “You don’t have to make any decisions for yourself and mistakes don’t really matter because they won’t effect the rest of your life.” 

Gus was staring at Justin with rapt attention, offering him the chewed on terrycloth toy he had been playing with. 

“Thank you, Gus,” Justin grinned, delighting in Gus’ happy laughter when Justin accepted the toy. 

A small round of tug-o-war began between the two of them, Gus flailing his arms around more than anything. The one thing that Justin really liked about living with Lindsay and Gus was that he got to spend so much time with the infant. He got to watch Gus grow and develop on a day by day basis that honestly amazed him. Plus Molly loved getting to spend time with the baby whenever she would visit. She lived up the role of being an aunt, demanding that Justin take lots of pictures of her holding Gus to show to her friends. 

“I was thinking that maybe tomorrow afternoon we could go see your Dadda,” Justin murmured when Gus settled down again, his mouth opening as wide as possible as he yawned. “We can go wake him up around ten and spend the morning with him before he goes to the gym... Maybe I’ll finally grow a pair and actually talk to him.” 

“Now see I was under the impression that you had a pretty phenomenal pair. I’ve always been quite fond of them.” 

Justin started slightly at the sound of Brian’s voice. He hadn’t even heard the other man enter the house and hadn’t been expecting him either. It was barely even five o’clock and Brian normally didn’t even consider leaving the office for at least another hour. 

“What are you doing here?” Justin asked, hoping that Brian couldn’t tell just how nervous he was. It had nothing to do with the older man’s presence, but rather with the fact that he didn’t know if Brian had heard anything he wasn’t supposed to while Justin unburdened his troubles on Gus. 

“I promised Deb that I’d steal the two of you away from muncher land tonight and take you over to her and Vic’s for dinner,” Brian informed him, still standing over on the other side of the room. 

Justin wasn’t sure whether to be upset or not that Debbie was the one behind Brian’s appearance. Over the past month, he and Brian had gone from seeing each other every day to being together only a few times a week. It had been a big adjustment for Justin, but he didn’t complain since it was of his own doing. He could have been home weeks ago except.... Except he was a fool. 

“Do you wanna hold Gus while I get his bag?” Justin asked, shifting so that he was sitting up straight. 

“Come to Dadda,” Brian murmured as he crossed the room, leaning down to scoop up his son. 

Their fingers brushed momentarily as Gus was passed between his fathers, but Justin immediately pulled his hands back and rose quickly to his feet. He sidled around Brian and made his way towards the stairs leading to the second floor. About halfway up he paused, turning his head to the left so that he could see Brian who was standing in the middle of the room talking softly to Gus. The infant was babbling non-stop, his arms waving around as he talked to Brian. Justin watched the interaction between father and son for a moment longer before continuing up the stairs. 

Before the left, Justin made sure to leave a note for Lindsay so that she’d know where they were. Since there was no room for Gus in the Corvette and Justin already had a carseat in the back of the Jeep, it was the blonde who drove them to Debbie and Vic’s. 

“So what were you hoping to get the balls to talk to me about?” Brian asked casually as they made the twenty minute trip to the siblings’ house. 

Luckily the question was asked at a stop light because Justin startled at Brian’s demand. “I, um... I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

Brian smirked slightly, but did not look directly over at Justin. “Do you want to try that again, Sunshine?” 

“It’s nothing, Bri,” Justin said quickly, hoping that Brian would drop the subject. 

“Somehow I doubt that,” Brian countered, but he didn’t press any further. At least not until they pulled up in front of Debbie and Vic’s. “You know that you can talk to me about anything, don’t you?” 

“I know,” Justin said quietly, turning to meet Brian’s intense gaze. “Maybe, um... maybe we could talk about it later tonight? After we take Gus home?” 

“I’ve got nowhere to be,” Brian murmured, reaching over to sink his fingers into Justin’s hair. “We can take Sonnyboy home to his mom then go back to the loft.” 

It had been a week and a half since Justin had last set foot in the loft and instantly agreed to go there. Justin wanted to go home more than anything and hoped that by the end of the night he wouldn’t be forced to return to Lindsay’s. 

“Where’s my little angel?” Debbie cooed as the pair entered the house, balancing Gus and all his accessories between them. “Come see Gramma Deb, Gussy.” 

Knowing that it was pointless to resist, Justin handed Debbie the carrier that Gus was babbling away happily in. Gus squealed in delight when he caught sight of Debbie in all her bright colours and began waving his small arms in her direction. Ignoring the boys completely, Debbie brought Gus into the kitchen and set his carrier down on a spot of the table that had been left clear for him. 

“Nice to see you too, Deb,” Brian smirked, dropping the diaper bag down next to the couch before following Debbie into the kitchen. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think that you were just using me for my kid.” 

While Brian and Debbie spoke in the kitchen, Justin sat down on the couch near to the armchair where Vic was sitting. The older man had been wonderful to him since he had first been introduced to his new family. Vic was a font of information, not just on all things queer, but on life in general. 

“You look awfully stressed out for a twink,” Vic commented as Justin slumped back into the cushions. 

“I’m not a twink and I’m not stressed,” Justin insisted, his voice lacking any conviction. 

“Do you wanna try that again?” Vic offered with a slight smirk. 

Despite himself, Justin could feel a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Fine, I’ll admit to being a twink, but that’s the only concession you’ll get from me.” 

The two lapsed into silence then, the weather report filling the silence. The man informing them of the snowstorm that was approaching was one of the many men that Emmett had been in love with in the past month. The pair had carried on a torrid relationship that lasted all of an hour. 

“You know,” Vic said as the news switched to a commercial break, “if you want things to change with Brian you’re going to have to talk to him at some point.” 

“We talk,” Justin mumbled pathetically. “Just not about anything important.” 

Vic smiled knowingly and reached over to pat Justin’s knee. “Then if I were you, I’d make it a point to talk about the important things because I can pretty much guarantee that Brian’s waiting for you. He’s giving you this chance to get yourself sorted out because he loves you and wants what’s best for you.” 

“I know all this, Vic,” Justin told the older man. “Brian’s told me all of this himself.” 

“Then you know how much it’s hurting him to stay away from you.” 

Justin didn’t have a chance to respond to Vic because Debbie shouted that dinner was ready and that the two of them needed to get their butts to the table. The slower of the pair to get up, by the time Justin reached the table the only available space was the chair next to Brian. 

“Have a seat, Sunshine,” Brian said quietly, pulling Justin’s chair out for him with one hand while he reached for his wine glass with the other. 

Dutifully taking the proffered seat, Justin slid in next to Brian, their elbows bumping as he scooted his chair forward towards the table. The two men shared a smile and Justin opened his mouth to say something only to be cut off by the front door opening. 

“Ma? Uncle Vic?” 

Justin was forced to bite the inside of his cheek from commenting as Michael appeared in the kitchen, ruffling snow out of his hair. Whatever kind of truce they’d reached before had been all but shattered when the rest of the gang had figured out that he and Brian weren’t living together any longer. 

“What the hell is he doing here?” Michael demanded, glaring in Justin’s direction. 

“Michael!” Debbie screeched, glaring at her son. “Don’t you talk that way to Sunshine!” 

“Don’t tell me you’re defending him, Ma,” Michael whined, looking to Brian for support. 

“If you’re just going to attack Justin you’re damned right I’m going to defend him,” Debbie informed Michael, giving him a pointed look over her shoulder as she moved towards the cabinet in search of a plate for him. “He’s just as much a part of this family as you are so lay off.” 

Seeing that he wasn’t going to get support from anyone else at the table, Michael slumped down in the chair Vic grabbed from against the kitchen wall and placed next to Gus’ spot on the table. Justin had to bite his tongue to keep from making a comment about the little kids having their own side of the table. Knowing that it would only incite World War 3, Justin kept silent, but his smirk was not lost on Brian. 

“I don’t want to know what that’s about, do I?” Brian asked, leaning over to whisper the question in his ear. 

Justin shook his head, a slight tremor making its way down his spine as a result of Brian’s warm breath against the side of his head. 

“Behave yourself, Sunshine,” Brian warned, kissing Justin’s earlobe before sitting back in his seat. 

While the meal wasn’t a tense one, it was far from relaxed. The meal would have been difficult enough without the added presence of Michael because of how strained things were between Brian and Justin. Thankfully, Gus was completely unaware of what was going on and filled the silence with his constant babbling. He chattered away, his attention focused mainly on his two dads, waving his arms in their direction to make sure he had their attention. 

“Here, Sonnyboy, your Dadda will fix you up,” Brian said, reaching across the table with some tomato sauce on the tip of his index finger. Gus latched onto the digit immediately, pulling it into his mouth. “There you go... maybe that’ll scare some hair onto your head.” 

“Oh, leave him alone,” Debbie chided, smacking Brian on the arm with her dishrag. “He’s got enough to deal with without having to worry about growing enough hair to please his father. I’ll have you know that my little Gussy has just the right amount of hair. Don’t you, angel?” 

Gus grinned around Brian’s middle finger, tugging on his thumb and pinky at the same time. 

“Don’t worry, Sonnyboy, we’ll make sure you have a full head of hair before your first birthday,” Brian assured his son. 

“What are you going to do? Give him Rogain for kids?” Justin snorted, nudging Brian’s hand away from Gus. “I saw that baby picture of you that’s in the nightstand and you had even less hair than Gus. So you have no room to talk.” 

“Says the guy who had peach fuzz hair until he was two,” Brian accused, smirking in Justin’s direction. 

Things became almost pleasant after that little interlude. Even Michael was no longer making snide remarks under his breath. With the food and the wine flowing constantly for well over an hour everyone was in a good mood and while Brian didn’t eat as much as the rest, he did eat more than was a normal portion. He was also stealing the mushrooms Justin left discarded at the edge of his plate. 

“Come on, Brian, you know you want some,” Justin teased, dangling a forkful of chocolate brownie cake covered in a cherry brandy sauce in front of Brian’s lips. 

Pursing his lips, Brian shook his head. Justin arched an eyebrow in concert and dipped a finger from his free hand in some of the sauce that had spilled onto his plate at the same time he set the fork down. 

“Not even a nibble?” Justin pouted, brushing the gooey cherry sauce against Brian’s lips. 

As he’d expected, Brian’s tongue slipped out nudge against Justin’s forefinger. Inward suction pulled the tip of Justin’s finger into his mouth as he began to lap at the thick sauce. Even after Brian had licked it all away, he kept Justin’s finger in his mouth and the blonde did nothing to extract it. 

“Would you guys knock it off,” Vic chuckled, waggling his fork at the pair. “It’s not fair to those of us who don’t have boyfriends.” 

Brian rolled his eyes and let Justin’s finger slip from between his lips. “Then you’ll just have to go out and get yourself a boytoy.” 

“Maybe you could borrow Justin,” Michael sneered over the rim of his glass. “Brian has no problem passing him around.” 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” Brian demanded, glaring across the table at his best friend. 

Michael leaned back in his chair, seeming to be almost confused by Brian’s anger. “What? You know as well as I do that Justin pimped himself out to Kip Thomas to keep you out of trouble.” 

Everyone fell silent save Gus who started to whimper quietly at the tension that suddenly filled the room. Justin began to tremble and he felt sick to his stomach when he saw the way Debbie and Vic were looking at him. No one was supposed to find out about what he’d done. Even Brian wasn’t supposed to know. 

Feeling a sudden wave of nausea roll through his stomach, Justin shoved his chair away from the table and sprinted towards the stairs. The sudden action caused Gus to let out a loud wail, but even over the cries, Justin could hear the argument that was going on in the kitchen. 

Debbie automatically jumped to his defense. “What the hell is wrong with you, Michael?” 

“He’s done nothing but cause trouble since he first came onto Brian in the backroom! If you ask me, Brian should have just left him there with Damian!” Michael shouted, his voice slightly slurred. 

Justin barely made it to the toilet before he vomited up everything he had just finished eating. He had hoped that he’d been able to put that night behind him. He’d only suffered a few nightmares, the last having been over two weeks before, but besides that there had been no reminders of what he’d let Kip Thomas do to him. 

“Here, rinse your mouth out,” Brian murmured, crouching down next to Justin with a glass of water in his hand. 

Snuffling, Justin accepted the glass from his lover. While he sipped at the water, Brian slid behind him, pulling him back against his chest. Not having the energy to resist, Justin allowed Brian to hold onto him, running a hand lightly over his stomach. 

“Looks like Deb didn’t cook the cannelloni enough,” Brian said quietly as he extracted the cup from Justin’s lax grip and set it down on the ground next to him. 

“I didn’t want anyone to know what I did,” Justin sniffled, burrowing himself deeper into Brian’s arms. “They’d only just blame you and I don’t want that. You had nothing to do with it, Bri. I made that decision all on my own.” 

Brian pressed a kiss to the top of his head, burrowing his nose in the blonde locks. “It should never have been a choice you had to make.” 

“It’s like I told you before, Brian, I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” Justin mumbled, his fingers fumbling for Brian’s hand which was resting on his stomach. 

“It won’t be so easy to watch each other’s backs if you keep living with Lindz and Sonnyboy,” Brian pointed out, his voice soft and lacking any accusation. 

“I know,” Justin whispered, reaching for the glass of water so that he could take another sip. “I, um... I want to come home. If you’ll let me.” 

“I never wanted you gone in the first place.”


	10. Hazy Sunshine

There was no stopping the smile that appeared on Brian’s face as his fingers brushed against Justin’s shoulder when he reached out towards the blonde’s side of the bed. It was the first time it had happened in a month. Every morning he would reach towards the left side of the bed, sleepily searching for his lover, and would always come up empty handed.

“You’re really here,” Brian mumbled, sliding his fingers down Justin’s back from the nape of his neck to the swell of his buttocks.

“Don’t have anywhere else I want to be,” Justin yawned as he arched into Brian’s touch. “This is exactly where I’ve wanted to be for the past month.”

Brian stared at Justin in confusion. “Then why didn’t you just come home?”

Justin frowned and rolled away from Brian, staring up at the ceiling as he let out a loud sigh. For several long seconds, the blonde didn’t say anything and neither did Brian. He knew Justin well enough to be able to tell that the blonde was simply trying to find the words that he needed. During the first few weeks that Justin had been living with him, Brian had become used to such silences as Justin fought the enforced instinct to remain silent and not voice his opinion.

“I just... I wasn’t sure how to undue my mistake,” Justin said at last. “That night... all I wanted was to go home with you. I felt sick and disgusted with myself and I just wanted you to make all of that go away. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t go with you. Because if I went with you, I knew that you would see what everyone else does and I didn’t want to lose that. And if I stayed away from you, I could do that.”

“What didn’t you want to lose?” Brian murmured, rolling onto his side so that he could peer down at Justin’s face. He draped an arm across Justin’s middle, refusing to loosen his hold on the blonde even as he attempted to roll away.

Justin stared up at Brian, pursing his lips. “I don’t know.”

Leaning over, Brian brushed his lips against Justin’s forehead as he lightly toyed with the mussed up strands of blonde hair that were in reach of his fingers.

“I didn’t want you to see Damian’s fuck toy,” Justin whispered after several long minutes, hiding his face against Brian’s chest. “You’re the only one who never has.”

“Because that’s not who you are,” Brian responded automatically.

“It’s what everybody sees, though,” the blonde sighed, snaking an arm around Brian’s waist. “Even Sally now that she knows the truth. No one admits to it, but they all think of me as this pitiful little kid who got used and abused and after what I did with Kip....”

“Come here, Sunshine,” Brian said as he extracted himself from Justin’s arms. He climbed over the artist’s supine form, latching onto Justin’s hand so that he pulled the blonde up with him.

Brian felt Justin hesitate slightly as he stood on the platform that surrounded the bed and turned back to face his lover. He didn’t say anything, waiting for Justin to come to a decision on his own. Biting on his lower lip, Justin took a step down so that he was standing on the hardwood floor next to Brian.

Guiding Justin along, Brian exited the bedroom and crossed to the other side of the loft where the massive mirror was bolted to the wall. He kept his hold light, ready to let Justin go at any time if his lover didn’t feel comfortable. It was unnecessary, though, because Justin was as tough as nails and didn’t back down even for a second.

As they neared the mirror, Brian guided Justin in front of him, embracing the smaller man from behind. “There is no possible way I can look at you and see anything but you. Justin. The overly dramatic, incredibly passionate artist who is loyal as hell and so very beautiful. You’re the only person I know who can go head to head with me and not back down or really even stumble. And the only person I would even consider being a second father to my son. That is who you’ll always be to me.”

Snuffling slightly, Justin managed a weak smile as he snuggled deeper into Brian’s embrace. “I don’t care what you say, you’re a romantic at heart, Bri.”

“Let’s just keep that between the two of us,” Brian murmured against the side of his head.

For several long minutes, the two remained in front of the mirror, eyes locked through their reflections. And just like that first night, Brian was in awe of Justin’s natural beauty. All of that pale, glowing skin, the shining eyes and blonde hair that shone with an almost ethereal light. As the early morning sun filtered through the windows, all of those features were accentuated and for a second Brian whimsically thought that he was holding some other worldly creature in his arms. Then the rational part of his mind took over and Brian reminded himself once again that Justin a person, the same as him. Justin wasn’t some fairy sprite. He was a kid who’d been to hell and back and was still trying to put the pieces back together.

And from where Brian stood he was making a pretty good job of it.

“But I thought you were going to stay here until you graduated,” Lindsay protested from the door to the guest room as Justin packed up his belongings. 

Brian was perched on the end of the bed, folding the clothes that Justin would have otherwise simply tossed into a bag. “It’s his decision, Lindz. You can’t guilt him into staying away from his home.”

“And since when has the loft ever been anything but your den of debauchery?” Lindsay sneered, turning to glare at Brian. “That’s not a home. It never has been.”

“But it is my home,” Justin insisted quietly, his eyes focused on the right cuff of his black jersey. “The loft will always be my home which is why I need to go back. I never should have left in the first place. I was being childish and hiding instead of facing what I needed to and it won’t happen again.”

The entire time that Justin was packing up what meager belongings he’d kept at Lindsay’s, the fretful woman did her best to convince Justin to stay with her and Gus. Brian was relieved to see that Justin didn’t even waver. He simply packed up his belongings and talked to Gus who was sitting upright next to his father, proudly showing off his newfound ability to sit unaided.

And while he made sure to correct Lindsay on all of her inaccuracies, Brian spent a great deal of his time just watching Gus interact with what was going on around him. He didn’t get to see his son anywhere near as much as he would like and was convinced that he was going to miss all of those incredible firsts; first steps, first words, first haircuts. Brian felt somewhat irrational about the whole thing because, as he kept reminding himself, he hadn’t even wanted to have a child. He was just supposed to jerk off in a cup then walk away.

“Gabada ba,” Gus chirped, holding up a small dog with a very chewed on ear for his inspection.

Hoisting Gus up off the bed, Brian held the infant up over his head much to his son’s delight if his happy cries and wide smile were any indication. “I need to get you some proper chew toys, Sonnyboy. There’s no way that can taste very good.”

Still giggling, Gus shoved the slobbered on toy into Brian’s face.

“You’re not getting my son a dildo to chew on,” Lindsay hissed, attempting to snatch Gus out of Brian’s arms.

Reacting quickly, Brian held fast to his son and moved him quickly away from Lindsay’s grasping hands. “You must have a pretty low opinion of me if you think I’m going to give my six month old son a sex toy.”

“Well it can be hard to tell with you,” Lindsay snapped, reaching once again towards Gus.

“You ready to get out of here, Sunshine?” Brian demanded, shooting up from his relaxed position on the bed to tower over Lindsay, Gus held protectively against his chest.

“I’m ready,” Justin assented as he quickly shoved a final few items into a duffel bag.

Nodding his head, Brian snatched Justin’s backpack off the bed as he stalked out of the room. “We’re taking Gus with us for the day. Make sure he gets his weekly quota of manly influence.”

“I’m his mother, Brian, and I say that he stays here with me,” Lindsay insisted as she followed after Brian as he made a brief pit stop in Gus’ room to collect his diaper bag.

“And since I’m his father, I have an equal say and he’s spending the day with his dads,” Brian informed her, passing the diaper bag to Justin who was standing near the doorway. Then, without setting Gus down, Brian stuffed the infant into his coat, mitts and hat while Justin dealt with his shoes.

The entire time, Lindsay continued to protest their taking Gus with them and for the most part Brian ignored her. Their previous night out had been cut short by Michael’s drunken revelation and Brian wanted to spend some time with them since he hadn’t had quite as much free time after being made partner at Ryder.

“I was going to take Gus to see Brian today anyway,” Justin added as he sifted through Gus’ diaper bag to make sure it was fully stocked. “Have a guys’ day out or something.”

Lindsay frowned slightly, but stopped her protests. Brian used the lull to quickly usher Justin and Gus out of the house. It infuriated him that Lindsay had such a double standard about his role as dad in Gus’ life. She wanted him to be a father to his son, but when he took it upon himself to do things with the infant that she hadn’t planned herself she would inevitably overreact.

“So what did you have planned for this dads and Gus day?” Brian asked as he loaded Gus into the carseat in the back of Jeep.

From the other side of the vehicle, Justin shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I didn’t really have it planned out. I figured we could just play it by ear.”

“How about starting off with lunch at the diner?” Brian suggested, glancing across the expanse of the backseat at Justin.

In terms of events there was nothing truly remarkable about the day. With the exception of getting take-out from the diner, they spent the rest of the day at the loft. They moved the table near the TV over to the wall and set up a blanket in the newly opened area to watch a Gus-proof movie while they ate their lunches.

“You’re going to turn our kid into a cartoon freak like you,” Brian laughed as he watched Gus trying to grab at the strange looking submarine that floated across the TV screen.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Justin laughed as he dunked a fry in the massive puddle of plumb sauce on his plate. “Gus just happens to have really good taste.”

“Oh is that it?” Brian asked with an arched eyebrow. “And here I just thought that you were refusing to grow up.”

“I’ve been eighteen for two weeks. I hardly think that it means I’m supposed to grow up quite yet,” Justin protested, tossing a fry in Brian’s direction. “Speaking of birthdays, I don’t think that I’ve properly thanked you for my party.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Brian said into the neck of his bottled water.

This time it was Justin who was arching an eyebrow. “So you mean that you don’t remember getting everyone at the diner and Woody’s and Babylon to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to me?”

Brian pretended to look offended, but the effect was lost as the corners of his mouth stubbornly refused to stay still. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’d never do anything like that.”

“Sure you wouldn’t,” Justin smirked, a slight grin playing on his lips. A grin that Brian returned automatically, unable to resist.

By the time Yellow Submarine was finished Gus was out cold, curled up on the blanket with the leg of his stuffed dog clutched in his hand. Brian gathered the infant up to put in his port-a-crib for a nap while Justin tidied up the mess left over from their picnic. When he had finished, Brian remained at the top of the steps leading down to the main part of the loft, watching Justin as he busied around the kitchen. 

“Sally says that I should dye my hair black again for the play,” Justin announced, startling Brian out of his contemplation. “Says that apparently it makes me look more broody.”

“Please tell me that you told her not to go anywhere near you with anymore hair dye,” Brian groaned, shuddering at the thought of Justin with black hair again.

Justin remained silent and went back to putting their plates in the dishwasher.

“I’m telling you right now, Justin, if you dye your hair black, I won’t be fucking you until it goes back to blonde,” he informed the teen as he crossed over to stand at the island counter.

Again Justin was silent, only nodding his head slightly.

“I mean it, Sunshine. As long as your hair’s black you’ll be taking care of your own hard ons,” Brian insisted, refusing to back down.

“Then I hope I don’t get one while I’m in that mini skirt ‘cause that would really suck,” Justin smirked as he closed the dishwasher. He waited another moment before adding, “It’s only gonna be a wig. They found one in the prop box at the school that doesn’t look too bad on me.”

“How about you just keep your normal hair colour?” Brian groaned, inwardly shuddering at the thought of Justin wearing some ancient wig that had been on the head of countless sweaty teenagers.

“How about you stop whining and fuck me on those huge cushions you bought while I was away?” Justin countered, leaning forward so that his face was only inches away from Brian’s.

The three foot by five foot cushions had been a spur of the moment purchase a few weeks back. Brian had been frustrated about a hellish week at work combined with Justin’s continued absence and pissed off that he couldn’t get comfortable on the couch because he was too long for it. Except that he’d never even touched the three cushions after delivery guys had dropped them off.

So as Brian stretched out over top Justin’s naked body they were, in fact, christening the latest additions to the loft. And Brian was paying homage to a body that he had been denied for too long.

“Bri....” Justin moaned as the older man trailed his lips in a series of soft kisses along his left collar bone.

“Right here,” Brian mumbled against the heated skin. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Writhing on the black cushions, Justin hands fumbled as he grasped blindly for Brian. They slid from his shoulders and down his arms until their fingers were laced together. He squeezed Brian’s fingers spasmodically and thrust his hips into the taller man’s abdomen. Brian maintained his grip on Justin’s hands as he worked his way down his lover’s body; worrying his nipples into tight nubs, tracing patterns on the fluttering stomach with the tip of his tongue and making sure to pay special attention to Justin’s left hip.

As Justin’s thrusting hips became more insistent, Brian knew that he’d better move the show along if he wanted to be buried within the teen when he came. Brian moved back up Justin’s body quickly, covering the lithe body below him with his own.

“Brian, please....” Justin whimpered, pushing his whole body up against Brian’s.

Sliding his hand forward so that Justin was holding onto his palm rather than his fingers, Brian grabbed for the condom and lube that was lying next to the cushion. Justin’s hand moved down further so that he was grasping Brian’s wrist as he brought the condom wrapper to his lips and tore it open between his teeth.

The two buried cries in each other’s mouths as Brian slowly trust into Justin’s clenching hole a minute later. Even though he tried his best to be careful, Justin was having none of it. He wrapped his legs around Brian’s lean waist, pulling Brian towards him with his crossed ankles.

“Next time I have a bought of insanity, can you please remind me that I don’t ever want to give this up?” Justin sighed as Brian stilled a moment to give the blonde a chance to get used to his cock.

Thrusting his hips lightly, Brian grinned against Justin’s cheek. “If that doesn’t work I’ll even tie you to the bed until you remember.”

Justin chuckled breathlessly, the sound interrupted almost immediately by several loud knocks on the metal door. Brian stilled immediately, craning his head back to look over his shoulder at the door. He shook his head then went back to what he had been doing before, Justin’s breathy cries indicating that he was doing a very good job of it.

The second round of knocking awoke Gus who began screaming at the top of his lungs.

Realizing that there was no way they would be allowed to continue, Brian regretfully slipped out of Justin, pulling the condom off as he reached for his discarded jeans. “Take care of Sonnyboy,” he mumbled as he staggered to his feet.

Justin made a frustrated noise, but did as Brian instructed, foregoing pants since he was only going into the bedroom. “I’ll try to get him back to sleep so that we can continue when you get rid of whoever’s there.”

Brian watched Justin as he disappeared up into the bedroom and once again cursed whoever was on the other side of the door. He stalked across the loft, his anger increasing with each step.

Throwing open the door, Brian glared at the person on the other side. “What the fuck?”

“Hey there, Sonnyboy. Care to invite your old man in?”


	11. Hazy Sunshine

Justin waited until he was sure Brian was asleep before slipping out of bed and making his way over to the treadmill. He had no intentions of having a late night work-out, but knew that he couldn’t do what he wanted to as long as Brian was awake and watching him. The older man would object and undoubtedly overreact.

Pausing at the bottom of the steps, Justin glanced over his shoulder to make sure that Brian was still sleeping. After his father’s unexpected visit, Brian had been completely thrown off for the rest of the day. Sure he put up a front for Gus’ sake, not wanting the infant to get upset, but knowing Brian the way he did Justin could tell how upset he was.

And all because of a faded photograph.

The picture in question was one of Brian and his father taken roughly twenty-eight years before. In it, the bitter old man was actually smiling at his infant son, but Justin had a feeling that it was entirely forced. Sitting himself down on the treadmill, Justin studied the picture in his hands in an attempt to see just how much Gus took after his father. Now that he had photographic evidence, Justin could easily make out the resemblence between all three generations. The infant Brian was an almost carbon copy of Gus and while Brian didn’t entirely take after his Jack, they did share several features such as the infamous tongue in cheek smirk that Justin had seen in person that afternoon.

“What are you up to, Sunshine?” Brian yawned from behind him, startling Justin who dropped the picture.

“Nothing, Bri. Go back to sleep,” Justin mumbled as he quickly snatched the picture back up before turning around to face his lover.

Brian simply arched an eyebrow as he trudged down the steps, making his way over to where Justin sat. He frowned when he caught sight of the picture Justin was holding, but slipped in behind the blonde, hugging him close. “You might as well just throw it out, Sunshine, because I have no intentions of keeping that picture. It’s all a lie.”

“Maybe not,” Justin whispered as he leaned back into Brian’s chest. “Maybe this was a peace offering of sorts. Now that he knows he’s dying he might be trying to make peace with you.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Brian responded immediately. “I’m not going to open myself up to what he’s capable of. My father has never loved me, never wanted me, that’s a truth that won’t change just because he’s dying.”

Even as Brian said the words, Justin knew that they lacked conviction. They had to or else there was no way Brian would have let Jack hold Gus when he’d shown up that afternoon. Brian would have just told his father to leave and that would have been the end of it. Instead, Justin had watched from the stairs as Brian handed Gus to the older man. True, the only conversation had revolved around who Gus’ mother was, but Justin desperately wanted to believe that there had been some connection between the estranged men.

“The picture is meaningless, Justin. Put it aside,” Brian instructed, attempting to bat it out of his hands.

“That may be true,” Justin conceeded as he set the picture down next to the treadmill. “I was mainly just looking at the physical resemblences between the three of you. That way I’ll know what I’m in store for in a few years when you start to tumble down the hill.”

The blonde let out an unmanly squeak when Brian pinched his nipple, sliding down so that he was almost lying down on the treadmill. He glanced up at Brian from his new position, a broad smile on his face as his lover’s hand began to smooth over his chest. 

“I seem to recall us being interupted earlier today,” Justin murmured, reaching up and back so that he could play with the longer strands of hair at the base of Brian’s skull. “Those new cushions still haven’t been fully christened.”

“Someone’s horny,” Brian laughed, earning him a sharp tug on his hair.

“I’m eighteen. Horny is a way of life,” Justin snorted as he righted himself. He was sitting on the hardwood floor and carefully spun himself around on his bare bottom so that he was facing Brian. “The question is, are you going to do anything about it?”

Justin had made the challenge knowing full well that it was one Brian wouldn’t be able to ignore. It was a somewhat devious tactic, but he wanted Brian to relax and let his guards down and that was the best way Justin could think of to do it.

What surprised him, though, was when the barriers went down and Brian attacked him like a starving man. True, their relationship had been strained for the past month, but none of their encounters had ever been like that. If Justin didn’t know better, he would have thought that Brian was trying to memorize every inch of him. But he couldn’t think of why Brian would have a need to because Justin had no intentions of ever leaving him again.... Except, Brian didn’t know that. Not really, anyway because it wasn’t the first time that he’d left. It was the first time he’d ever gone through with it, but Justin was starting to realize that he had a habit of running away.

That was something he was going to have to put a stop to.

It wasn’t something that he made entirely obvious, but in the coming weeks Justin did his best to make sure Brian didn’t think he was going to disappear without a word. He didn’t bolt from the loft when an argument didn’t go his way, he was home when he said he would be, bringing Molly to the loft the afternoons he picked her up from school.

Then came the day he had been both dreading and looking forward for a long time.

“Whacha got there?” Brian asked as he entered the loft one afternoon near the end of March.

Over on the chaise, Justin glanced in the direction of Brian’s voice momentarily before returning his attention to the unopened letter in his hands. “It’s from the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts.”

“What’s it say?”

“I don’t know,” Justin mumbled, his eyes trained on the computer printed envelope. “I haven’t opened it yet.”

He didn’t look up, but Justin could hear Brian crossing through the kitchen and over to where he was. Without saying anything, Brian maneuvered Justin so that the two of them were sitting on the chaise facing each other, Justin’s legs draped over Brian’s. The blonde didn’t protest as Brian took the letter from his hands, turning it over and examining it for himself.

“How come you haven’t opened it yet?” Brian asked quietly after a few minutes, tapping the long edge of the envelope against Justin’s left thigh.

Sucking his top lip into his mouth, Justin met Brian’s gaze hesitantly. “I, um... I’m tried to open it about five times, but I couldn’t. I’m too nervous.... Can you do it?”

“You sure?” Brian questioned, running his free hand along Justin’s thigh.

“I’m sure,” Justin responded immediately.

While Brian turned the letter over in his hands, Justin nervously chewed on his bottom lip. He wanted to know what was inside the letter, but at the same time was completely terrified. PIFA was a dream he’d had for a long time and Justin wasn’t sure how he’d handle it if it had all been for nothing. Justin had a back-up plan in case he didn’t get into the art school, but it was a plan that he hoped he would never have to follow through on.

“‘Dear Mr. Taylor,’” Brian read aloud, startling Justin who hadn’t realized that the other man had opened the envelope. “‘On behalf of the faculty of the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine arts, I am pleased to inform you that you have been chosen to be--’”

The rest of the statement was lost as Justin lunged forward, mashing his lips against Brian’s. The letter fell to the ground, forgotten, as the two began an impromptu celebration. Clothes were discarded almost immediately and Justin was left trembling as Brian licked, sucked and kissed almost every inch of his upper body.

“I’m so fucking proud of you,” Brian murmured as he stretched out over top of Justin in the center of the massive bed. “Thing is, though, you were going to be a fabulous artist with or without their help.”

Justin’s beaming smile turned into a gasp as Brian angled their pelvises together. Before long, Justin was aware of nothing but the incredible sensations coursing through him courtesty of Brian’s talented hands. Fingers stroking down his sides, over the dip of his hips, across his ribs, down his spine and along his crack. When he felt the tip of a finger nudging a the outer edges of his hole, Justin arched completely off the bed.

“Easy there, Sunshine, I’m just getting started,” Brian whispered just before his lips began the same passage that his fingers had already enjoyed.

Before the sun went down, Justin was thoroughly celebrated into the mattress. He did some celebrating of his own as well, luxuriating in a tight heat that so few had known or would know.

It was close to nine before either of them decided on getting out of bed and getting something to eat. Ordering in would have been the easiest option, but it would have taken too long.

“Let’s go to the diner,” Justin pleaded, pouting down at the older man from his place on top of Brian’s chest. “I want some lemon squares.”

“It’s your celebration,” Brian murmured as he tiredly wrapped his arms around Justin’s torso. “We do whatever you want to do. For tonight anyway. Tomorrow is a completely different story, though.”

Justin rolled his eyes and flicked Brian’s forehead with his thumb and forefinger. “Smart ass.”

Justin let out a shriek as Brian flipped them over, pinning him to the bed. The older man was towering over him, holding himself up on his elbows, and stared down at Justin for several long minutes. Justin watched Brian’s face, keeping track of every flickering movement, trying to figure out just what the other man was thinking about. It wasn’t hard because everything that Brian was thinking about was perfectly clear.

Brian was proud of him.

It still sometimes caught Justin off guard that someone could be proud of him. Or that someone would want to celebrate one of his accomplishments.

“All right, everyone, I want your attention,” Debbie called to the people who had until then been casually eating in the diner. “I just found out that our very own busboy, Justin, just got accepted to the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts. He’s gonna be a fucking artist!”

His cheeks flushing bright red, Justin buried his face in Brian’s shoulder. “Make her stop.”

“Do you really think I know how to make Deb stop doing anything?” Brian shorted against the top of his head. “You’re screwed, Sunshine.”

“I don’t fucking believe it!”

And suddenly Justin felt like disappearing under the table. He had hoped against hope that Sally wouldn’t be there, but, of course, the fates took great pleasure in making him squirm.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you got accepted to PIFA?” Sally demanded, slapping him upside the head as she slid into the other side of the booth. “I told you when I got into Carnegie.”

“That’s because our little artist only found out he got in this afternoon,” Brian said in mock falsetto.

Justin jabbed Brian in the side with his finger which made him squeak in a very unmanly fashion.

“I don’t believe that sound just came out of your mouth,” Sally snorted before breaking out into full fledged laughter. “I didn’t know you could make sounds like that.”

“You’re hearing things,” Brian mumbled under his breath.

Sally nodded her head placatingly and reached over to pat Brian’s hand. “Sure I am, Bri. Sure I am.”

During the next half hour, the rest of their disjointed family made an appearance at the diner. At first Justin thought that it was just a coincidence considering how much time everyone spent at the diner until Emmett flounced in, waving a handkerchief and sniffling slightly. That’s when Justin realized that they had been ordered to the diner by either Debbie or Sally.

“Our little baby’s growing up,” Emmett whimpered as he pulled Justin out of the booth and into his arms. “I’m so proud of you, baby! You’re going to be a college boy!”

“Hey! What about me?” Sally cried indignantly. “I’m gonna be a college girl. Don’t I get any special treatment?”

“Is the Smurf feeling left out?” Brian taunted, smirking at the blue-haired girl.

“Fuck you, Kinney!” she laughed, tossing a french fry in his direction.

Brian flashed her a dazzling smile. “Not likely, kid.”

Eventually, the celebrants migrated from the diner to Babylon for some drinking and dancing. At the dance club, Brian and Justin separated themselves from their friends and took up position in the center of the writhing mass, glitter raining down on them. Within the first few songs, Justin had shed his tee, tucking it into his back pocket so that with the next explosion of glitter, the sparkling bits clung to the light sheen of perspiration that covered his skin.

“Well this isn’t as hard as I thought it would be,” Brian murmured into Justin’s ear as they ground against one another.

“What wasn’t?” Justin laughed, pulling back so that he could see Brian’s face, his smile growing at the sight of his lover’s.

Brian ducked his head down so that their foreheads were touching. “Turning you into the best homosexual you can be. Seven months in and already you’re well on your way.”

“Well I had a very good teacher,” Justin grinned, winding his arms around Brian’s shoulders so that he could press their bodies even closer together.

“Did you now?”

Justin snorted and lightly knocked his forehead against Brian’s. “Don’t go fishing for compliments, Kinney, ‘cause you’re not gonna get them. You know what you did and there’s no way I could ever thank you enough for, you know... everything.”

“Whatever,” Brian mumbled, glancing away from Justin momentarily.

Knowing that his lover hated to be reminded of his good deeds, Justin’s smile only grew at the slight flush he could see growing from under the collar of Brian’s shirt. They danced a few more songs before heading towards the bar for something to drink. Ted, Michael and David were all gathered at the bar, each sipping a beer and shouting over the loud music that pulsated through the building.

“Where’s Sally?” Justin asked as Brian moved off to order their drinks.

Ted tipped his beer in the direction of the dance floor. “Dancing with Emmett. They claimed we were too boring.”

Even though he agreed completely with Sally’s assessment, Justin remained silent. So far he and Michael had been getting along and he didn’t want to jinx that. The fact that he was the center of Brian’s attention at the moment already had the shorter man annoyed and Justin didn’t want that to escalate.

“Here you go,” Brian said as he handed Justin his beer.

Seconds later, a pair of arms wrapped around him from behind. “Dance with me, Sunshine,” Sally insisted, already tugging him backwards.

Handing his beer back to Brian, Justin allowed his best friend to drag him back out onto the dance floor. While they were still searching for a free space that was big enough for the two of them, Justin was shocked to see Lindsay cutting her way through the crowd. Babylon was the last place Lindsay would go to for no reason which had Justin worried that something had happened to Gus. Pointing the older woman out to Sally, the pair backtracked towards the bar where others were still standing.

The gyrating bodies slowed them up and before they even reached the edge of the crowd, Lindsay had delivered her message. Brian paled and turned towards the bar, Michael’s hand rubbing between his shoulder blades. Brian shrugged away from his friend and moved towards the backroom.

“Brian!” Justin shouted after him, but either Brian was too far away or was ignoring him because he didn’t even falter.

Knowing that it would be better to leave Brian alone for the time being, Justin made his way towards the huddled friends, Sally trailing on his heels.

“Justin, go get him,” Lindsay ordered as soon as he was close enough to hear her.

“Why? What happened?” Justin demanded, his eyes darting in the direction Brian had gone and back again.

“I got a call from his sister. His father died this afternoon.”


	12. Hazy Sunshine

Brian shut his mind down as the faceless trick knelt down in front of him. He wanted to feel nothing for the next few days. That way he could make himself believe that he didn’t care that his old man was dead. He shouldn’t care that his father was dead. It wasn’t like his old man had ever given a damn about him. If anything, he should have been glad that it was finally over. There was no way his father could do anything to him ever again.

Except he wasn’t glad that it was finally over and that was what scared Brian.

With a frustrated growl, Brian jerked his head back against the wall behind him. When that failed to knock the remorse he felt over his father’s death from his mind, Brian brought his hands up to pull at his hair. He didn’t want to think about anything so he fumbled in his pocket for the few pills he knew were concealed there.

Before long he finally got his wish and wasn’t thinking about anything. He was only feeling things. In particular, he was feeling the warm mouth wrapped around his cock.

A mouth that seemed to know exactly what he liked.

Blinking rapidly, Brian tried to clear his vision to see who it was attached to his dick. The only thing that he could make out was the shock of blonde hair, but nothing else. Going with the whole tactile thing that seemed to be working so far, Brian lowered his hands in order to run his fingers through the blonde hair.

“Justin....” Brian moaned when he realized that the blonde hair was a little longer like his lover’s. Long enough for him to get a good hold of and feel the motions of the head dipping forwards and backwards.

Brian nearly cried out when the mouth was gone. Until it began to kiss its way up his body, stopping at all of his favourite points along the way.

Then the blonde hair was close enough that he could smell the familiar scent of Justin’s shampoo. Seconds later, a pair of familiar blue eyes appeared in his line of vision. Justin’s hands came up then to hold his face.

“Are you finished?” Justin murmured as he brought their foreheads together.

“Not until you finish,” Brian giggled, taking hold of one of Justin’s hands and guiding it down to his still very erect cock.

Justin gave the shaft in his hand a quick squeeze. “If I finish this, do you promise to come home with me?”

“Only if you promise to not let me think until after the funeral,” Brian mumbled pathetically. “I don’t want to remember any of this.”

“I’ll do my best,” Justin promised, stroking Brian’s cheekbone with his hand that was still holding his face.

Somehow Justin managed to do just that because the next thing Brian was conscious of remembering was waking up the next morning to the smell of coffee drifting in from the kitchen. It took a great deal of effort, but Brian was eventually able to roll himself out of the bed and staggered down the steps without bothering to put anything on.

By the time he reached the island, Justin had a cup of coffee waiting there for him and was already working on breakfast.

“Do you feel up to eating anything substantial?” Justin asked as mixed up some waffle batter.

“I think I can survive eating one,” Brian consented with a yawn. “Just none of those rich sauces you like.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing,” Justin teased as he began to pour some batter into the waffle iron.

Brian was relieved that Justin wasn’t pressing him to talk about what had happened the night before. Brian wasn’t naive enough to think that he’d be able to avoid dealing with this family over the next few days while the funeral was arranged and his father’s belongings were dealt with. At home, though, Justin was letting him deal with things in his own way.

Against his better judgment, Brian allowed Justin to top the waffle with a thick brandied sauce. He also ended up eating two and a half waffles instead of the one he had requested. Of course, it probably had something to do with the whipped cream that Justin smeared on his chin which led to said whipped cream being shared between the two of them on ripped off bits of waffle.

“Your sister called when you were still sleeping,” Justin said casually as he began to load up the dishwasher. “In between all the sobbing and whimpering I think she said that you were supposed to be at your mom’s sometime before lunch.”

Groaning, Brian dropped his head down on his folded arms. The last thing he wanted to do was go back to his childhood home. Brian had taken great pride in the fact that he’d only been there a handful of times in the almost twelve years since he’d moved out. The place had all of the emotional warmth of a hospital waiting room and Brian had no desire to endure that again if he didn’t have to.

“Want me to go with you?” Justin asked as Brian was gathering up his cellphone, keys and wallet a short while later when he was getting ready to leave.

Brian seriously considered taking Justin up on his offer, but shook his head nonetheless. “Nah. There’s no need both of us need to suffer.”

“You sure?” Justin pressed, grabbing hold of Brian’s arm as he moved past him. “You sure you wouldn’t get some thrill out of arriving with your lover? Shock your mother and sister?”

“You’re evil,” Brian smirked, glancing down at the blonde.

Justin flashed him a wide smile, rising from the stool he was sitting on and going over to where he’d left his coat. “I learned from the master. Now let’s go deal with your family.”

Against his better judgment, Brian took Justin with him as he ventured into the chilliest corner of Hell. He didn’t want to admit to it, but Brian was glad that Justin would be going with him. For the first time ever he’d have an ally inside the house of the saint. Someone who wouldn’t automatically turn against him.

Brian started when he opened the door just as Michael was raising his hand to knock. Michael was equally shocked because he hand continued with the knocking motion and would have hit Justin if the blonde hadn’t jumped out of the way.

“Mikey. What are you doing here?” Brian asked as he guided Justin out of the loft.

Michael’s eyes practically bugged out of his head. “Your father died last night. I was worried about you.”

“And as you can see I’m perfectly fine,” Brian assured his friend, moving around him so that he could lift the gate to the elevator. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we have to get to my mother’s to make sure that she and my cunt of a sister and fucking things up too badly.”

“I can go with you,” Michael volunteered, following the pair into the elevator.

Brian shook his head, pulling Justin against his side. “Thanks for the offer, Mikey, but there’s really no need. It’s bad enough that Justin’s coming. There’s no need anyone else to suffer in the Warden’s domain.”

Michael tried to protest further, but Brian would have none of it. He didn’t even really want Justin to go with him, but knew that there was no way he could persuade his lover to do otherwise.

Feeling unnerved by the prospect of returning to his old home, Brian opted for the ‘vette. The loud, rumbling motor would cause all sorts of whispers in his mother’s chaste neighbourhood. No one in his old neighbourhood had the money to afford the classic car and Brian took great pleasure in that fact.

“Welcome to my hell,” Brian sighed as he pulled into the driveway of his childhood home.

Justin started to lean forward as though he would kiss his cheek, but then pulled back just as quickly. “I’m sure we can corrupt it in no time,” he said instead.

Laughing, Brian pulled his key out of the ignition then slid out of the car. “Behave yourself, Sunshine. As far as Mommy Dearest is concerned, her little boy is the perfect hetero business man with more money than sense. My old man wanted it to stay that way.”

“Why do you care what he wanted?” Justin asked as he came to stand in front of the car with Brian who was fumbling in his pockets for a pack of cigarettes.

Knocking a single cigarette out of the pack, Brian refused to meet Justin’s eyes. “It’s just easier if she doesn’t know. Besides, she’s hated me since the day I was conceived. The only reason I was even born is because it was a sin to abort me.”

Justin reached over and snagged the lit cigarette from Brian’s lips and took a drag. “Well, like you’re so fond of telling me, they don’t matter. You’re phenomenal without... or rather, despite them.”

“Someone’s turning into quite the motivational speaker,” Brian smirked as he stole his cigarette back.

“Brian, get in here!” his mother shouted from the front door. “I need your help dealing with the people from the funeral home.”

Groaning, Brian dropped the cigarette on the ground between him and Justin. “The Warden calls.”

Brian really wanted a fortifying kiss from Justin, but that was most definitely not an option. He couldn’t even hold Justin’s hand unless they were hidden away in the bathroom and even then they would have to make sure to lock the door.

A chill went up Brian’s spine as he opened the front door of his parent’s house. He hated the way that simple building always made him feel inferior; like he had something to prove even though he didn’t really care what his family thought about him. In theory. In theory Brian was also the undisputed ruler of everything he surveyed.

“Who’s this?” the Warden demanded, looking Justin over from top to bottom as the pair entered the foyer.

“Mom, this is Justin. Justin, my mom,” Brian murmured, pointing out each person to the other even though it was totally unnecessary.

“He’s a child, Brian. What need could you possibly have with a child?”

“I’m eighteen, I’m not a child,” Justin protested, his hackles rising visibly. Then he seemed to calm down all at once, retaining his country club airs. “I’m very sorry for your loss, Mrs. Kinney.”

The Warden simply looked at Justin as though he were an insignificant insect then stalked back into the living room.

“Okay, I’ve made an appearance. Can we go now?” Brian mumbled as he stabbed his fingers through his hair.

Justin reached up and pulled Brian’s hands down in front of him. “Come on, Bri, let’s go see what needs to be done.”

A short while later, the two of them were hidden away in his parent’s bedroom picking out a suit for his father to be buried in. It was honestly the first time he could remember being in his parents’ bedroom. When he’d been growing up, that had always been the place Brian avoided most. Now he was inside the forbidden territory and for the first time ever saw pictures of himself and his sister as children. In one of them he was an infant about Gus’ age and looked almost identical to his son.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say that was a picture of Gus,” Justin mumbled as he picked up the framed photograph from the bedside table. “He’s gonna be one hell of a heartbreaker when he hits puberty.”

Coming up behind Justin, Brian wound his arm around the blonde’s waist and rested his chin on Justin’s shoulder. “I just want him to be happy. As long as he’s happy, Gus can be anything he wants.”

“He will be,” Justin promised, leaning back into Brian’s chest. “You’ll make sure of it.”

Brian still wasn’t entirely used to having someone trust him the way Justin did. Justin knew his faults better than most, but didn’t think any less of him. He could just _be_ which was a novel experience after twenty-nine years of putting on an act for everyone he’d ever met. In one way or another, Brian had lied to everyone who’d ever met him in some way. Everyone except Justin who saw through whatever acts he tried to put on.

Not knowing who was going to walk in or when, the two ended the embrace relatively quickly and got back to the task at hand.

“Are you going to be speaking at the service?” Justin asked while Brian sifted through the old suits that hung on his father’s side of the closet.

“Why would I do that?” Brian demanded, glancing at Justin briefly over his shoulder. “I didn’t care about him when he was alive and I definitely don’t now that he’s dead.”

“But he’s your dad,” Justin protested, as though that was the most important thing.

To Justin, it probably was. Even after everything Craig had done to him, Brian knew that on some level Justin still loved his father. Brian envied Justin that. Justin had grown up knowing that his father had loved him. That one truth had never been in doubt until that fateful night when Justin’s world had gone crashing down around him.

Brian didn’t doubt for one second that, because of their own relationships with their respective fathers, between the two of them Gus would always know he was loved. The little boy would have the life that neither of his fathers ever had. 

The only downfall was the situation with his mothers.

Lindsay and Mel were no closer to getting back together than they had been the night they’d separated. Brian didn’t even know the last time Melanie had seen Gus. And while he wanted to be glad that the she-devil was far away from his son, at the same time he didn’t like the fact that Gus’ family had fractured.

“Look, Bri, I know I can’t compare my relationship with my dad to yours... they’re just way too different, but I still think that you should say something,” Justin spoke up after a few moments of heavy silence. “It’ll give you some closer if nothing else.”

“How about we just deal with picking out a suit for my dad to burn in. Something old and moldering to go with his new accommodations,” Brian mumbled as he pulled out a worn brown suit that his father had owned for as long as he could remember.

“Brian--”

“Leave it. Justin,” Brian said shortly, darting his hand back in for the hanger with all the generic ties his father owned. “Just pick something that’s not too awful.”

After he’d handed the ties off to Justin, Brian began searching through all of the junk stuffed at the bottom of the closet. Almost immediately he found his old man’s beloved bowling ball bag. Jack had always spent more time down at the lanes or at the bar with his buddies than at home with his family. The Eastside Kings. The kings of what, Brian had never been able to figure out.

“How’s this?” Justin asked, waving a bland tie in his direction.

“Doesn’t matter,” Brian sighed as he pulled the turquoise bowling ball out of the bag. “No one really cares what he looks like.”

“Brian Aiden Kinney! How dare you say such a thing!” the Warden cried, holding a hand to her chest.

Brian rolled his eyes and dropped the ball back into its leather case. “Oh please, mother. There’s no one here you need to impress so knock off the act.”

“It’s not an act,” Joanie protested, looking everywhere but at the two men. “My husband of thirty-five years just died--”

“And you couldn’t be happier,” Brian interrupted, glaring at his mother as he rose to his full height.

“How dare you,” the Warden hissed before turning on her heel and stalking back out the way she came.

Brian startled slightly as Justin placed a hand on his arm. He let out a shuddering sigh then turned to face the blonde, a wry smile on his face. “Welcome to my hell, Sunshine. Get out while you still can.”


	13. Hazy Sunshine

Even with his umbrella, Justin was soaking wet. The rain had taken on a sideways stand when the wind picked up and the only way he would have been able to block it would be to place it in front of his face; something he was not sure would go over well with the widow and her sobbing daughter. Not that Justin cared about them. His main concern was the son who was standing like a solemn statue next to him.

Justin wanted to slip his hand into the pocket of Brian’s long coat and thread his fingers through his lover’s. Normally he would have to, except this time it was Brian’s decision. So instead Justin stood close to Brian, close enough so that when Brian took his hand out of his pocket and let it drop down to his side, their hands casually brushed together.

Brian’s fingers momentarily moved through Justin’s, gripping them momentarily, before moving away from the people gathered around the gravesite. Justin knew better than to follow after him. The night before, Brian had been tossing and turning, sleeping only when the sun was starting to come up. Justin knew this because he had been awake the entire night, watching over Brian and trying to help him sleep peacefully. It left him exhausted, true enough, but he’d gone much longer without sleep.

Unfortunately, Michael didn’t have the same idea. He immediately trailed after Brian, following him to a nearby group of gravestones. Justin shifted his body just enough so that he could watch the two friends out of the corner of his eye. He wasn’t baby-sitting, just making sure that Brian didn’t snap in any way. The main reason Justin was concerned was because Brian had brought the bowling ball bag he’d taken from his parents’ closet with them to the funeral. It was still in the trunk of the ‘vette at the moment, but Justin knew Brian well enough to know that it wouldn’t stay there.

What really didn’t surprise him was when Brian reached into his inside breast pocket and pulled out a folded handkerchief. Justin knew exactly what was inside that linen square. One, possibly two, joints were hidden in that handkerchief in case of emergency. Michael’s umbrella came in handy because without it Justin doubted that Brian would have been able to get the thing lit in all the rain.

Throughout the rest of the ceremony, Justin continued to watch Brian out of the corner of his eye. He knew that the joint wouldn’t do more than mellow Brian out and the other man definitely needed that if he was going to make it through the wake.

“How’s Brian doing?” Lindsay murmured in his ear as the priest began to wrap up the ceremony.

“He’s not falling apart or anything,” Justin whispered back, his eyes darting from Lindsay to Brian and back again. “But the day isn’t over yet so....”

As soon as the priest wrapped things up, Justin immediately made his way over to Brian and Michael, silently ordering Michael away so that he could move up next to his lover. He wanted to wind an arm around Brian’s waist, but instead settled for rubbing a hand along his upper arm.

“Hand over the keys, Bri, you’re not driving like this,” Justin said, already reaching into Brian’s pocket for his car keys.

With a goofy grin, Brian willingly handed over his keys and handed the remainder of the joint to Michael as he followed Justin to the Corvette. As they passed in front of the unfilled grave, Brian sobered greatly, staring into the six foot deep pit.

“I hope that Gus doesn’t feel relieved when I die,” Brian mumbled, stepping away from the protective umbrella and into the downpour.

Checking over his shoulder to make sure that Joan Kinney and the rest of the Kinney clan were out of sight, Justin moved to Brian’s side, winding an arm around his lover’s waist in a sideways hug. “There’s no way Gus could ever think that about you. He adores you. He knows that you would never do anything to hurt him. We both do.”

“Yeah, but you’re an optimist,” Brian smirked, leaning against Justin.

“One day I’ll make you into one too,” Justin promised as he began to lead Brian towards the ‘vette.

The rain began to let up a bit as they made their way to the parking lot. Justin was tempted to take them back to the loft to change into dry clothes, but if he did that, Justin knew that he’d never get the older man back to the wake. And Brian needed to go to the wake. He needed the closure that it would bring if he finally wanted to lay his demons to rest.

Since it was mostly their overcoats that were wet, the pair took them off before getting into the Corvette. Between that and the heater the two of them managed to get at least somewhat dry by the time they reached the Kinney residence. The rain had stopped completely and as Justin made his way up to the house, he wasn’t surprised to see Brian moving to the back of the car. Justin stopped halfway up the drive, watching as Brian got the bowling ball bag from the trunk.

“What are you up to, Brian?” Justin asked as Brian ambled up the driveway to where he was standing. “Why are you bringing that inside?”

Brian’s smirk was far from comforting. “No reason, Sunshine. Just thought the old man would want to be here in spirit.”

Still nervous, Justin nonetheless remained silent, watching Brian as he snuffled slightly then switched the bowling bag to his other hand. When he started to move towards the front door, Brian grabbed hold of his left arm and steered him towards the open garage. Justin stared up at him in confusion, but followed after him nonetheless.

“We can avoid my cunt of a sister if we go in this way,” Brian informed him as they moved through the garage towards the door. “She won’t sob all over our clothes.”

Justin simply nodded his head, placing his right hand over Brian’s which was still on his arm. He released it as soon as Brian slid his hand away to open the door leading into the house, but moved it only as far as the small of Brian’s back.

As soon as they entered the house, Brian took up residence on the small love seat in the living room. Justin considered for a moment whether he should sit next to Brian or simply wander about the room mingling. The decision was taken from him when Brian reached over and latched onto his wrist, pulling him down next to him.

“What took you so long?” Claire whimpered as she came to stand in front of the pair “You should have came with me and mom.”

Brian snorted, dropping his head onto the back of the couch. “Hell would have to freeze over before I ever willingly traveled in a car with you and the Warden.”

“Brian!” Claire sobbed, cupping a hand over her mouth. “We’re the only family you have left! How can you say such a thing?”

“Pretty damn easily actually,” Brian smirked, the idiotic grin returning.

With a loud wail, Claire bolted from the room and into parts unknown. Brian merely chuckled and adjusted the bag in his lap, not knowing that his mother was glaring at him from the other side of the room. Even if he had, he probably wouldn’t have cared.

“I’m gonna go grab some food,” Justin said, placing a hand on Brian’s thigh as he stood up. “You want anything.”

Brian shook his head, already turning his head to stare out the front window.

Justin watched him for a few moments, not sure if he should leave Brian along to the mercy of his family. He would have stayed with Brian except that they’d skipped breakfast ‘cause they’d been running late and he was starving. His stomach growling loudly made the decision for him and he wound his way through the crowd towards the buffet where the food was laid out.

“Hey there, baby,” Emmett greeted as Justin began to pile a paper plate full of snacks. “How is his royal badness coping with everything?”

Justin scowled in Emmett’s direction momentarily before snatching up another mini cherry tart. “His father just died, Em. How do you think he’s feeling?”

“But I didn’t even think he liked his father,” Emmett mused, tapping a celery stick against his lips.

“Doesn’t mean he’s not effected,” Justin insisted, grabbing a few more things to tide him and Brian over before making a retreat to the loveseat.

On his way, Justin was stopped by Debbie and Vic who were both concerned about Brian. Justin wanted to promise them that he was all right, that the funeral had just been a shock to his system and nothing more. Instead he just smiled and promised instead that he’d look out for the older man.

“What’s in the bag, Uncle Bri?” one of Claire’s boys was asking as Justin approached.

Brian’s face split into a maniacal grin and he raised the bag slightly. “Grandpa’s head. Wanna see?”

The little boy ran screaming from the room at that and Justin couldn’t help but smirk at the situation. Brian seemed quite satisfied with himself, grinning up at Justin. Rolling his eyes, Justin flopped down next to Brian, taking care not to spill any of his booty.

“You’re evil,” Justin informed his lover, holding the plate in front of him in case Brian wanted something to eat.

“I’m sweet,” Brian countered as he selected a mini eclair from Justin’s vast bounty.

“Sure you are,” Justin placated as he began nibbling on a cube of havarti cheese.

For the next little while, the pair munched on the snacks Justin had procured for them and talked about the inconsequential things in their life. There was also mention of the very consequential as they discussed what they were going to do the following weekend when they had Gus while Lindsay went to a teacher’s conference. Justin was excited about having the infant with them for the entire weekend. Gus had just started crawling recently so it meant that they’d have to keep things out of his reach. Justin could still remember the destruction his sister had wrought when she was first learning how to crawl. His favourites would always be her sticking the mushy cookies into the VCR and highlighting the couch.

Even though he tried his best not to show it, Justin knew that Brian was just as thrilled at the thought of having Gus with them for the weekend. Many times he caught him staring at his son in awe as Gus experienced something for the first time. Of course, just as many times simply watching the infant sleep would garner the same effect.

At some point during the next hour, while neither was completely sure when it happened, Brian’s head ended up on his shoulder. Then somewhere around the same time his arm found its way around Brian’s shoulders while the ad exec’s arm went around his waist. It was a very comfortable position, especially for Brian when Justin lifted his arm from Brian’s shoulder and began to massage the back of his scalp. 

Neither really thought anything of it and weren’t even aware that they were being watched until Claire’s sobbed, “Brian, stop groping your boyfriend. This is Daddy’s wake.”

Before either of them could even consider reacting, they were treated to a lethal glare from Joanie Kinney who was just coming in from the kitchen. The deli tray she was holding fell onto the ground as her hands flew to her mouth. That alerted everyone else in the room to what was happening on the couch.

“How dare you,” Joanie hissed as her hands slid down to her chin. “How dare you bring your disgusting lifestyle into my home.”

Brian lifted his head from Justin’s shoulder and sat up slightly, but he didn’t remove his arm from Justin’s waist. “I’m just doing what I’ve been genetically programmed to, Ma. If anyone’s to blame its you and Pops for giving me the requisite queer genes.”

“Brian!” Claire shrieked, rushing to their mother’s side and crouching down to clean up the mess.

“I bet you’re wishing you listened to the old man right, aren’t you?” Brian snorted, rising off the couch and pulling Justin up with him.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Joanie mumbled, looking everywhere but at her son.

“Oh you don’t?” Brian mused with an arched eyebrow. Dropping his head back, Brian sucked in his lips for a few moments then looked back at his mother. “Shall I refresh your memory then?”

Joanie glared at her son, her eyes hardening in a very frightening way. “That’s quite all right, Brian.”

“So you mean you don’t remember the night he found out you were pregnant with me?” Brian questioned, arching an eyebrow in her direction. He then glanced around the room, making sure he had everyone’s attention. “He told mom to put on her best dress, took her to the most expensive restaurant in town, poured her a glass of bubbly then....” Brian paused momentarily, chuckling darkly. “Get this-- he leaned over and said, ‘Joanie, you’re getting yourself an abortion ‘cause I don’t want another fucking kid.’ Guess you should have listened to him, huh?”

With that, Brian latched onto Justin’s hand and pulled him towards the front door, making a quick detour to the couch to pick up the bowling ball bag on the way. Raised voices followed after them, accusations and threats, but Brian seemed to be ignoring them in his mad rush to get out of his childhood home. The only thing he said the entire time they were stalking in the direction of the ‘vette was a growled, “Give me the keys,” which Justin quickly complied with. Justin knew better than to argue with Brian. The older man had been on edge since finding out about his father’s death and it was only a matter of time before he finally snapped.

When they got back to the loft, Brian proceeded to fuck Justin into the mattress for the entire afternoon. Justin knew that he wasn’t going to be able to sit down for a while, but he’d survive. He was also sucked off an almost equal number of times by his frantic lover. Justin knew that they would have continued fucking if Brian hadn’t passed out wrapped around him.

While Brian wheezed silently in his ear, Justin ran his fingertips over the man’s damp back until he too began to drift off. He’d more than likely end up being stiff all over from having Brian stretched out on top of him, forcing his legs to sprawl open, but he didn’t care. Justin was simply glad that he had come close to averting the apocalypse when Brian had started fucking him rather than getting himself drunk and doing God knows what.

“Let’s hope you’ve gotten this out of your system,” Justin murmured against the top of Brian’s head as he shifted around slightly to get more comfortable.

Justin wasn’t exactly sure how long he slept except that when he felt himself coming awake the bedroom was significantly darker. Not past sunset, but very close. Not exactly awake, Justin was more than prepared to go back to sleep until his stomach began to growl loudly, protesting the piddly amount of food he’d eaten throughout the day. 

Moving very carefully, Justin attempted to extract himself from under Brian without waking the other man. Brian began snuffling and gripped him tightly so Justin stilled immediately, not wanting him to wake up.

“Hey, babe,” Brian mumbled into his shoulder. He seemed to realize what position they were in and began to move off Justin. “Sorry ‘bout that. You okay?”

“Fine,” Justin told him even though he was a little on the sore and stiff side. After scrubbing his hands over his face, Justin pushed himself up into a seated position. “I’m gonna go order some food. You want anything in particular?”

“Just get whatever you want,” Brian told him, rolling over onto his stomach and snuggling into his pillow.

Dinner ended up being pizza and Brian surprised Justin by eating almost as much as he did. Brian seemed to be incredibly mellow and only got more and more so as the night went on. By ten o’clock Justin was starting to get a little concerned because Brian wasn’t doing anything but sitting on the chaise and drinking from a bottle of Beam.

“You all right?” Justin asked as he came up behind his lover, placing his hands on both hi shoulders and massaging the tense muscles.

Justin nodded his head weakly. “Yeah. Fine.”

“Bri....”

For a few moments, Brian continued to sit there silently before bolting to his feet in a single motion. “Let’s go.”

“Go where?” Justin demanded, following after Brian as he made his way into the bedroom.

Brian didn’t answer him as he changed into a pair of jeans and a white wifebeater. Justin was shocked when Brian reached into the closet and pulled out an old bowling shirt that he knew had come from Jack. Brian slipped that on overtop of the tanktop and reached back into the closet to grab a pair of boots.

“Brian, where are we going?”

“Just put on something warm, Sunshine. We’re going to be outside,” was the only information Brian gave him.

Half an hour later, the pair were back on the same street Brian had grown up in. Brian parked in the middle of the street, at the top of a slight incline about half a mile from his parents’ house. Shrugging off his leather jacket, Brian climbed out of the ‘vette and made his way to the truth where Justin realized the bowling ball was still stashed.

By the time Justin got out, Brian had the ball free of the bag and was walking back around to the front of the vehicle.

“Put your coat back on,” Justin murmured, reaching over into the driver’s side to pull out Brian’s jacket. “It’s freezing outside.”

Brian simply ignored him and stood in front of the Corvette, holding the bowling ball as though he were about to throw it down a lane. As Justin watched, Brian took a few steps forward, drew his arm behind him and with a final step brought it forward and released the ball. It skittered and jumped around a bit, but stayed in the center of the road as it sailed down the incline and into the darkness.

Taking a few steps back, Brian raised his hands over his head as though he really had thrown a strike.

“So long, Jack,” the brunette mumbled. With his next breath, Brian allowed his arms to fall back to his sides. “You son of a bitch.”

Justin wasn’t sure what he should do. He knew that Brian was exercising some internal demons and that he shouldn’t interfere, but his lover was trembling and Justin didn’t know whether it was from the cold or emotions. When he heard Brian take a hitching breath, he had an answer.

As Justin came up behind him, Brian turned into his arms, allowing the teen to hold onto him as he began to sob in earnest. Justin pressed a kiss to the side of Brian’s head, holding him tight. “That was definitely a strike.”


	14. Hazy Sunshine

“So he takes a nap around eleven and another one around three.”

“Lucky him,” Justin laughed as he emerged from the bathroom.

Brian adjusted his hold on Gus, sitting the infant up straighter as he glanced towards the bedroom where he could see Justin stumbling around naked. Lindsay didn’t seem to notice the teen’s present lack of attire even though said naked teen was doing his best not to reveal too much, to Brian’s dismay.

“Oh and all the emergency numbers,” Lindsay began, but quickly changed the thought to, “If you want to take him outside, don’t forget to put his little beenie hat on. He looks so adorable....”

Jeans undone and his tee only half on, Justin stumbled down the steps from the bedroom with a single shoe dangling from his right hand. “Has anyone seen my other shoe?”

“God, is that what I’m sitting on?” Shifting to the right, Brian reached under him and removed the missing shoe from the back of the chair. He lobbed it in Justin’s direction then went back to feeding Gus. “Knew it didn’t feel like one of my usual rubber toys.”

Exasperated, Lindsay spun around to face the pair. “Brian, are you listening to me?”

“Yeah Feeding time, nap time, beenie hat. I got it,” Brian sighed dramatically, earning him a quiet snort from Justin. “He’s going to be fine, Lindsay.”

“I know he will be,” Lindsay said absently, waving a hand in his direction. “But now that I have to go back to work, I have to attend this damn teachers conference....”

Smirking in her direction, Brian sat back in the chair. “Well maybe you’ll meet a nice lady PE teacher,” he drawled, wiggling his tongue suggestively at the end, earning him a slap on the back of the head from Justin.

“Don’t worry, I’ll keep an eye on him,” Justin assured the frantic mother as he knelt down next to the pair, kissing the top of Gus’ beenied head. He then smiled apologetically at Brian, letting him know that he was speaking only for Lindsay’s benefit.

“I’m his father, I’m not going to fuck it up,” Brian insisted, meeting Lindsay’s guilty gaze. Handing Justin the empty bottle, he then hoisted Gus up so he could address his son. “Would you please tell them to give me some credit.”

“I am,” Lindsay insisted as she knelt down in front of the bags that had come with Gus. “That’s why I’m leaving him in your care.”

Frustrated, Brian set Gus back down in his lap and growled, “Bullshit. You’re leaving him with us because Melanie’s going to see her yenta mother in Miami and won’t b back till Sunday.”

Ignoring his outburst, Lindsay pulled a piece of paper out of her date planner and waved it in Brian’s direction. “Here’s my number at the conference.”

“He’s going to be fine, mom,” Brian promised her, rolling his eyes as she moved behind him to set the paper down on the kitchen counter.

Lindsay waited till she had moved back around in front of him before responding with, “I know, dad.” She then knelt down in front of Gus and kissed him on the cheek. “I love you.”

As Lindsay moved to gather up her stuff, Brian stood Gus up so that he was leaning against the arm of the chair and grinned up at his son. “Are you ready to spend a weekend with your dads, Sonnyboy?”

Gus gave a gurgled response and spit up some of the formula he’d just finished drinking. The infant crowed in delight as Brian wiped away the milky spit up with a spludgy sound effect.

“Go see your dad, Sonnyboy,” Brian said as he handed the infant over to Justin so that he could show Lindsay out.

Even while he was following after Lindsay, Brian’s attention was focused on the two people chattering in the loft. Brian knew that there were bets being taken on how long it would take for him to ditch Gus and disappear to Babylon or the baths. It ranged from Ted’s prediction that he’d hand off Gus as soon as Justin got home from school to Emmett’s more romantic notion that Brian would hold out until Sunday night and take Justin with him. Brian wanted to be offended, but he knew that he hadn’t given them any reason to think any differently.

“You’ll take care of our baby, won’t you?” Lindsay asked as Brian lifted the elevator gate for her. “Make sure nothing happens to him?”

“You know I will,” Brian sighed, wishing that for once Lindsay would have some faith in him where Gus was concerned. “Justin and I will look after him. When Sunday comes, he won’t want to go home with you.”

Brian waited, fruitlessly, for Lindsay to at least make mention of Gus possibly spending other weekends with them if everything went all right during this trial attempt. He really wanted to be able to spend more time with his son, but with all the hours he had to pull at work during the week, it was difficult.

“Behave yourself,” Lindsay admonished a final time as the elevator began to make its descent. “Oh, and make sure you feed Gus his vegetables for dinner. Don’t just give him the fruit. Brian? Are you listening to me?”

“Bye, Lindz,” Brian called down before heading back towards the open door leading into the loft.

Brian remained out in the foyer for a minute so that he could watch as Justin and Gus danced around the room. The blonde was spinning around and around, much to the delight of Gus who was squealing madly and waving his arms about. Brian would have remained there until they were finished except that if he didn’t put a halt to it, Justin was going to be late for school.

“Get your shoes on, Sunshine, and we’ll drive you to school,” Brian said as he entered the loft, moving towards his lover in order to take possession of Gus so that Justin could finish getting ready. “Isn’t that right, Sonnyboy?”

Gus gurgled happily, clapping his hands against Brian’s cheeks. The infant then turned his attention to Justin who was zooming around the loft gathering up textbooks, scraps of paper, his backpack and sneakers. When Justin started to hop around while putting on his shoes-- the blonde still had an odd aversion to sitting down while putting on or taking off his shoes --Gus started giggling.

“It’s not nice to laugh at your Daddy,” Brian chastised as he lifted Gus up above his head. “Even though he does usually fall on his ass when he’s doing that.”

As though to prove Brian’s point, Justin started to wobble back and forth, nearly going down. Then his right thigh hit the side of the couch and Justin went tumbling down.

“Don’t even think about it,” Justin grumbled as he untangled himself from the floor. “I did that on purpose.”

“Sure you did,” Brian smirked before moving over to the counter to get Gus’ coat and hat. “Come on, Sonnyboy, let’s get you all fitted out and we’ll take Justin to school.”

Brian cringed when he saw what he was supposed to dress his son in. He knew that Lindsay was an artist and prone to eccentricities, but the multicoloured coat and beenie were pushing it. Since he had the day off, Brian had every intention of taking Gus out shopping for some more fashionable baby clothes.

“Don’t you look adorable,” Justin cooed as he joined the pair at the counter, tickling Gus’ cheek.

Brian scowled down at his lover. “Don’t encourage him. These clothes are going to disappear before Mommy comes back from her little teacher’s powwow.”

“Then I’d just like to state for the record that I had nothing to do with any of this,” Justin informed him before snatching up his own jacket. “But I would suggest that you at least find some sort of hat that you approve of ‘cause your son is completely bald.”

“He’s not completely bald,” Brian protested, lightly brushing his index finger across the whispy bangs sticking out of the front of Gus’ beenie. “His hair just grows really slowly.”

The pair continued to argue the finer points of baby fashion as Brian drove them to U.S. Grant High. Normally Justin would have driven himself, but since the ‘vette wasn’t carseat friendly, the blonde had agreed to give up his vehicle for the day so that Brian and Gus weren’t stranded at the loft. 

“I have rehearsal till four,” Justin reminded Brian as the jeep pulled up in front of the school. “That gives you eight hours to alter Gus’ wardrobe. But please, no leather. We’ll never hear the end of it.”

“But this weekend’s the leather ball,” Brian smirked, earning him a playful slap from Justin.

“No leather,” Justin repeated as he leaned over to kiss Brian. 

It was a very chaste kiss even by hetero standards, but since it was Justin who had to survive daily at the school, Brian didn’t force the issue. Instead he just watched as Justin slid out of the jeep and moved around to the back to receive a slobbery kiss from Gus. Brian watched as Justin made his way into the school before starting the jeep back out and heading out into the early morning traffic.

The first stop Brian made was to the diner. The munchers didn’t frequent the Liberty Avenue Diner enough to placate Deb’s need to see the little boy who was as close as she’d ever come to a grandchild which meant it was up to Brian to feed that desire.

“Come on, Sonnyboy, let’s go see Gramma Deb,” Brian said as he lifted Gus out of his carseat.

Gus crowed in delight, tugging on the lapels of Brian’s coat as he waited to be brought inside. He started bouncing around when his father wasn’t moving fast enough, babbling nonsense in his ear and yanking on his hair.

“Hold on, Gus, I’ve got to get your bag. I’m going as fast as I can,” Brian informed his son while attempting to pick up the diaper bag and move his hair out of Gus’ reach at the same time. “Why the fuck do kids have to come with so much extra shit.”

“You watch your mouth around innocent little Gussy,” Deb chastised, slapping him upside the head before extracting the now squealing infant from his arms. “He doesn’t need to be learning any of your foul language.”

Brian scowled at her, but was silently thankful that his hair was saved from further attack. He was getting close to thirty and he didn’t want to risk becoming prematurely bald courtesy of his son. Once he had the bag, Brian locked up the jeep and followed Deb into the diner.

“Alexi! Get the--”

“Don’t bother,” Brian interrupted as he snatched Gus back out of her arms. “He’s not sitting in a high chair.”

“Well he sure as hell isn’t sitting in a booth all by himself,” Deb protested, crossing her arms over her chest.

Walking past her, Brian dropped the diaper bag onto the floor just under the table where Emmett and Ted were sitting. With only a glare, Ted quickly darted from one side to the booth, next to Emmett, so that Brian could sit with his back leaning against the wall. Putting his feet up on the seat, Brian propped his knees up so that Gus could sit in the well that position created, leaning up against Brian’s chest.

“Aren’t we looking very paternal today,” Ted quipped as he stirred some Sweet n’ Low into his coffee. “Next thing you know, you’ll be trading your Corvette in for a minivan, soccer dad.”

“And the next thing you know, you’ll be a tripped out crystal queen along with your little pet project,” Brian shot back, glaring at the older man.

“Fuck you, Brian,” Ted grumbled into his coffee.

Brian gaped dramatically and tilted his head down so that he could see Gus’ upturned face. “Did you hear that, Sonnyboy? Bad Mr. Schmidt said a naughty word.”

“Brian Kinney using the word ‘naughty.’ Who’d ever thought I would have lived to see the day,” Emmett drawled, earning an excited coo from Gus. The Southern man then reached across the table to tickle the infant’s cheek which earned him another giggle.

From that moment on, Brian’s day just seemed to go from bad to worse. First Gus’ diaper leaked, his son’s piss soaking into his jeans. That meant a trip back to the loft where he ended up with a parking ticket because he hadn’t been able to find a parking spot in the designated area across from his building. While at the loft, Brian got a frantic call from Cynthia pleading with him to come into the office to fix a huge disaster that Bob and Brad had orchestrated.

“It’ll only be for half an hour, Brian, I swear,” Cynthia pleaded amidst the loud noises Brian could hear in the background. “Then you can go right back to your long weekend.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Brian glance over at Gus who was bouncing around in his Jolly Jumper without a care in the world. There was no one he could leave Gus with which meant that he’d have to take his son with him. He’d have to go against his own silent promise about keep his personal and professional lives separate.

“We’ll be in in half an hour,” Brian sighed, disconnecting the call before Cynthia could say anything else. He stood with the phone in his hand for a few moments, watching Gus who was watching him. “Well, Sonnyboy, looks like you get to see where Dadda works.”

“Daaaaa....” Gus slurred, slapping his hands against the tray built onto the Jolly Jumper.

True to his word, Brian pulled into the parking garage at Ryder & Associates half an hour later. Refusing to be seen with the patchwork diaper bag, Brian left it in the jeep while he went to deal with the destructive duo. 

“Oh, isn’t he adorable,” one of the secretaries cooed as Brian exited the elevator on the twenty-third floor of the agency.

Gus squawked then burrowed his face against Brian’s chest.

Brian glared at the woman and continued on to his office. He met up with Cynthia about halfway there and she redirected him to the main conference room where Bob, Brad and the rest of their staff were scrambling to fix the disastrous proposal they’d presented that morning if they had any hope of retaining the account.

“I take one day off and you two manage to nearly lose us a multi-million dollar account,” Brian growled as he stormed into the office, the fact that he was holding onto his infant son doing nothing to detract from his venomous presence.

“But, Mr. Kinney--”

“I don’t want to fucking hear it,” Brian cut in, silencing Bob in an instant. “I want you and your clone to get the fuck out of here now and don’t even think about coming back until you can prove that you actually deserve a paycheck.”

In the fifteen minutes it took Brian to get the remaining people in the confrence room on the right direction, he kept Gus in his propped against his side despite Cynthia’s insistence that she could watch him. He appointed one of the junior executives, Mateo Roberts, as overseer of the changes and made a hasty retreat with explicit orders that he was not to be disturbed for the rest of the weekend.

“Next time get Ryder to deal with it,” Brian barked as he stepped onto the elevator, finally ready to take Gus shopping for some new clothes.

Knowing that it was nearly time for Gus’ first nap, Brian reluctantly lugged the stroller out of the back of the jeep so that the infant could sleep while he shopped. In theory it was a perfect plan. He could perfect Gus’ wardrobe in peace while the baby slept peacefully in his stroller.

In action it was far less than perfect.

The novelty of spending the day with his Dadda had Gus forcing himself to stay awake as long as possible, even as exhaustion began to pull his eyelids down. Then Gus got fussy and demanded to be held. The only saving grace was that Brian shopped in nothing but specialty shops and could easily leave the stroller near the main counter with out fear of any of Gus’ beloved toys disappearing.

Several hundred dollars and a few tantrums later, Brian was satisfied with his purchases and gratefully made his way back to the loft. Then the real juggling act began as Brian attempted to transport Gus, his diaper bag and all the bags of clothes and accessories up to the loft in a single trip. To free up both hands, Brian was forced to use something even more dreadful that the stroller. The snuggly. Very reluctantly, Brian strapped on the carrier, placed a dozing Gus in it and crossed the street to his building.

He had almost made it to the door when he heard, “That’s Brian Kinney. He used to be Liberty’s top stud, but now he’s been domesticated.”

At that moment, the only thing keeping him from retaliated was that Gus was finally asleep. Instead he entered the building and stalked towards the elevator, fuming. There was no way he had been domesticated. Sure he was more or less in a serious relationship with Justin, but that didn’t mean he’d given up tricking. He wasn’t ready to condemn himself to having sex with one person for the rest of his life. He was young, he wanted variety, and he gave himself just that.

For the rest of the afternoon, Brian sat in the loft stewing. He played the perfect father when Gus was awake, playing with the baby and keeping him entertained until it was time to go pick Justin up from school.

“Don’t worry, Sonnyboy, your old man will prove that he’s not some domesticated fag,” Brian said to the little boy as Gus crawled over his prone body to get to his teddy bear which was on the other side.

Gus grinned at his father then curled himself around his teddy bear, on the verge of his second nap.


	15. Hazy Sunshine

By the time he was walking up the steps into the school, Justin was tempted to turn back around and call himself in sick so that he could spend the day with Brian and Gus. The main reason he didn’t was because he knew that Brian would just send him right back to school. Justin could talk himself out of most situations, but he still hadn’t mastered convincing Brian to let him get out of doing things he knew he should be doing.

“Where’s Gus?” Sally demanded, popping up behind him as he was opening his locker. “It’s national bring your kid to work day and since Gus is technically your kid you should have brought him.”

Justin glared over at her momentarily as he slid his backpack off so that he could take out the books he didn’t need till the afternoon. “If Gus went to work with anyone it would be Brian. Brian’s his dad. I’m just the boyfriend.”

“Who’s been there every day of Gus’ life,” Sally added with a dramatic roll of her eyes. “Besides, you know as well as I do that Brian thinks of you as Gus’ other dad. Just accept it as a truth and move on.”

Knowing better than to argue with her about something like that, Justin simply nodded along to whatever Sally was saying. She was quite prone to going off on rants for no reason whatsoever, usually about things that had nothing to do with anything. The day before she had tried to convince him that having blue hair would increase his brain capacity.

“So I was thinking,” Sally mumbled as she absently sorted through her purse. “I want to have sex with a guy and I want that guy to be you.”

Justin walked into a closed door at his best friend’s seemingly casual statement. It took him a few moments to orient himself to what she’d said as he attempted to open the door. “You want to sleep with me?”

“That was the general idea,” the former cheerleader confirmed. “What do you say?”

“That you’re completely insane.”

Sally rolled her eyes in Justin’s direction. “It’s really not that big a deal. You and I both have sex quite often. This time we’d just be having it with each other.”

“You do remember that I’m gay?” Justin questioned, still attempting to figure out Sally’s logic, but thankfully having figured out how to open the door.

“Yes, and until now the closest thing I’ve had to a dick inside me is Irina’s florescent pink dildo I want the real thing and I want the first one to be your real thing,” Sally rationalized as she uncapped one of the many lip glosses she kept in her purse.

“Wow,” Justin snorted as he patted his chest lightly. “Would you look at that. I’m now officially scarred for life.”

Sally smacked him on the arm. “Oh please! I bet you can’t even remember how many dildos Brian’s shoved up your ass.”

“Care to explain what that has to do with us sleeping together?” Justin asked as he scowled in her direction.

“Not much....” Sally hedged, bobbing her head from side to side. “But would you at least consider it?”

Justin’s gut reaction was to say no, and to say it very loudly at that. Sure he was a teenager and was in a near constant state of horniness, but the idea of sticking his dick inside his best friend’s pussy was far from appealing. Plus, if things got weird... Justin didn’t want to lose his best friend. At the same time, he didn’t want her to get hurt by some horny teenager who only cared about getting off himself. If Sally was going to venture into breederdom, she should enjoy herself.

“Yeah,” Justin sighed, nodding his head slightly.

Sally beamed at him. “Thanks, Just!”

Stopping in his tracks, Justin reached out to latch onto Sally’s arm. “No, I mean, yeah, I’ll do it.”

“We’ll do it,” Sally corrected him. She then turned to him with a huge smile on her face, bouncing slightly. “Can we do it on your bed so that I can at least say that I’ve screwed in Brian Kinney’s bed.”

Justin immediately shook his head. “No can do, Sal. The only ones who do any type of fucking in that bed are me and Brian. You can pass out on it, but nothing gets inserted into anything else.”

“The shower?” she prodded hopefully.

“Your bedroom,” Justin smirked, knowing that Sally would agree to do it on the kitchen counter if he consented. “The loft is off limits because Brian will refuse to fuck me anywhere you and I have and since I happen to enjoy rechristening the loft every week I’m not going to risk it.”

“What is he, six? It’s not like I have cooties or anything,” Sally giggled, rolling her eyes.

“No, you have something much worse,” Justin said cryptically.

Justin had attempted to get ahold of Brian during lunch, but the older man’s phone had apparently been shut off for the time being. No one had answered at the loft either so Justin ate with Sally and Billy, the three of them going over last minute advertising plans for the plan which would begin in just over a month. Justin was going to gather up all of their information and run it by Brian over the weekend to see what he thought of it.

“We’ve got to include this shot,” Billy smirked, holding up one of the photos Sally had taken of Justin when he’d spent a day in the white halter and mini skirt. There were several envelops of pictures that had been taken during rehearsals and the trio were attempting to pick out the ones they wanted to use on the posters.

Justin snatched the photo out of his hand and shoved it into his binder. “No way. It’s bad enough that I have to wear the damn thing, there’s no way I want pictures of it all over school.”

“Yeah, well you don’t get a say,” Sally informed him as she grabbed the picture back, adding it to the pile of possibilities. “I get final say and I say I want it in. You agree with me, right, Billy?”

“I plead the fifth,” the football player mumbled as he attempted to hide an unflattering picture of himself tripping over the scenery. “What about this one?”

During sixth period, with the aid of a scanner and some computer software, they designed the posters that would be going around the school and much of the city. Rather than having the usual costumed and refined posters, the trio had decided on something much more casual. Rehearsal pictures and costume fittings were the photographs they collaged together as the background of the posters.

Centered on the collage was the picture of Justin dressed in drag.

“You need a ride home?” Sally asked as they exited the school after rehearsal.

“Bri’s picking me up,” Justin assured her, already spotting the jeep parked out front.

Noticing the jeep too, Sally bolted ahead of him, skipping across the lawn so that she could get to visit with Gus. By the time Justin got there, Sally had the back door open and was busy extracting Gus from his carseat. Brian was out of the vehicle as well, rushing around to watch over his son like the fretful parent he always claimed he wasn’t.

“No dropping my kid on his head,” Brian warned as he leaned in to kiss Justin. “Hey there, Sunshine.”

There was an odd gleam in Brian’s eyes that had Justin instantly worried. He liked to think that he was fluent in Brian’s moods and was worried that he couldn’t figure out the current one. If he didn’t know better, he’d say that Brian was feeling rebellious, but Justin didn’t know what he had to be rebellious about. Everything had been fine when he’d seen them in the morning.

Of course, with Brian there wasn’t always a rational explanation behind his moods. A cup of coffee that wasn’t strong enough could send Brian on a rampage for hours. Chances were, someone had said something about his current domesticated appearance and Brian wanted to prove them wrong. It was faulty logic, but Justin had long ago learned not to question the way Brian’s mind worked. He simply did his best to counter it.

“Sal, can you watch Gus for the next few hours?” Justin asked hopefully, pleading with his eyes as well. “Brian and I have something we need to do.”

Brian arched an eyebrow, winding an arm around his waist. “We do?”

Justin nodded his head sharply. “We do.”

“Yeah, sure. I can watch the munchkin,” Sally agreed, looking as confused as Brian. “Just help me move his carseat into my car and the two of you can do whatever wicked things you do when you’re alone.”

“Dream all you want, Smurf, it’s not going to happen,” Brian snorted, releasing Justin so that he could extract the carseat from the back of the jeep.

Sally slumped her shoulders dramatically and stuck out her tongue. “All I’m asking is for you guys to stick a camera in the corner so that I can watch it at a later date.”

“There’s a minor present,” Brian chastised. “Behave yourself.”

The entire time that they were transporting the carseat and all of Gus’ necessities, Justin was frantically attempting to figure out a way to put the brakes on whatever Brian was plotting. He didn’t want to be controlling or possessive, he just didn’t want to feel like he did that night he’d come home to find Brian fucking someone else in their bed. Rationally he knew that Brian wouldn’t do anything like that to him, but he couldn’t stop the dread that was building up in the pit of his stomach.

“I’ll come pick him up around seven or so,” Justin said, leaning through the opened window to brush a kiss against her cheek. “Try not to cause too much damage during that time.”

“Take as long as you need,” she murmured into his ear.

Justin was still frantically trying to figure out what to do to calm down Brian as Sally drove away. There was one solution, but Justin wasn’t sure that he could go through with it. He had to, though, he knew it.

“So what was so important that you had to send Sonnyboy off with the Smurf?” Brian asked as the two of them made their way back to the jeep.

Frowning slightly, Justin scratched at the bridge of his nose. “I, um... I want to go to the Baths. I want you to take me to the Baths.”

“You want to go to the Baths?” Brian repeated, stopping them in the middle of the lawn.

The blonde nodded his head, not able to meet Brian’s eyes. “I do. I’ve always been kinda curious about the place and I figured it was time we went.”

Not giving Brian a chance to talk him out of it, a task which would have been very easy at the time, Justin reached into his pocket for his keys. He had to be the one to drive. It would make it seem more like he was the one who wanted to be at the Baths even though it was the last place Justin wanted to be outside of the backroom at Babylon.

He managed to avoid having an actual conversation with Brian the entire way over, turning on the radio to fill the silence. If Brian started talking, undoubtedly he would find some way to talk Justin out of what he knew he had to do. He was hoping that he would able to keep from freaking out since it would be Brian that was with him.

It was working, too.

Until he pulled up in front of the Liberty Baths. As unassuming as the building was, Justin felt himself begin to shake as he turned off the jeep. 

“You don’t have to prove anything,” Brian said quietly, still facing straight ahead.

Breathing in deeply, Justin gripped the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles were turning white. “I’m not trying to prove anything. I just... I thought it was time we tried something new.”

“Justin--”

“Please, don’t,” Justin snapped, slamming his right palm against the grip on the wheel. “I want to do this.... I’m just a little nervous.”

“Then we’ll go home,” Brian murmured, reaching over to slide his fingers into Justin’s hair. “It’s not a big deal. We’ll stop off to pick up some Thai on the way home and indulge ourselves until you go pick up Sonnyboy.”

“Brian....”

“I don’t know what’s gotten into your head right now, but you don’t need to do this,” Brian said quietly as he began to massage Justin’s scalp with his left hand. “You don’t have anything to prove to me or anyone else. So just start the jeep back up and we’ll head back to the loft.”

Justin scrubbed his hands over his face and leaned back into Brian’s hand. “But I don’t want you to get bored. You like excitement and fucking out in the open and I don’t... I’m terrified that if I don’t join in I’ll come home to find you fucking your latest Kip Thomas. I can’t do that again, Bri. It hurt too much the last time.”

Allowing his head to flop to the side, Justin met Brian’s gaze. There was panic in the hazel eyes. What surprised him most of all was how quickly that panic faded away to concern. In the next moment, Brian had his free arm wound around Justin’s shoulders, pulling the teen towards him.

“That is never going to happen,” Brian said roughly into his ear. “I swear that I will never do anything like that to you ever again.”

Snuffling quietly, Justin nodded his head against Brian’s shoulder.

It was several minutes before Justin was able to extract himself from Brian’s arms. He felt safe when Brian was holding onto him. It had been the same from that very first night. Only when he was sure that he wouldn’t break down, Justin slid back in his seat and faced straight ahead towards the door leading into the building.

“Can we please go home and forget that this ever happened?” Justin whispered, glancing in Brian’s direction quickly.

“You’re in charge, Sunshine,” Brian said by way of consent.

Relieved, Justin started the jeep up again and pulled out of the parking lot. He was still feeling jittery until he felt Brian’s hand come to rest on his thigh. Even through the denim of his jeans he could feel the heat from the broad palm as the long elegant fingers squeezed his thigh lightly, calming him.

Almost absently, Justin wondered if he’d ever be completely normal again. There was no way any rational person would have reacted in such an extreme way to something that hadn’t even happened. He had just assumed that Brian was going to revert to his usual bad boy ways because of some imagined slight. It was stupid, really. He needed to stop overreacting to every little thing. Lindsay had once suggested that he go to counseling at the GLC and he was beginning to think that it would be a good idea for him to at least check it out. Especially if he was going to stand a chance of maintaining his sanity through Damian’s trial in a few months.

“This doesn’t look like a Thai restaurant,” Brian smirked as Justin pulled into a McDonalds parking lot. “In fact, this looks like something that is far from healthy.”

“You can order from the Healthy Choice menu if you want,” Justin grinned, knowing that Brian would indulge him after what had happened. “I, on the other hand, am having a Big Mac, supersized fries and a chocolate shake... Oh! We can get apple pies too!”

“You can get an apple pie,” Brian amended with a shake of his head.

It was still early enough so that there were on a few cars in front of them in the drive-thru when they went to order. Brian even surprised him by ordering a grilled chicken salad. Justin had figured that they’d need to stop at the deli near the loft on the way home to get Brian a healthy dinner.

“I expect a thorough work out for this,” Brian grumbled as Justin handed him the bags containing their dinner. “If I gain so much as half a pound I’m making you eat nothing but tofu for a week.”

Justin rolled his eyes as he shifted into gear. “It won’t kill you to gain half a pound, Brian.”

“Says the teenager with the hyperactive metabolism,” Brian snorted as he reached into the bag to grab a fry. Instead of eating it himself, he held it in front of Justin’s face and waggled it back and forth slightly.

Justin glanced at him out of the corner of his eye, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I dare you to eat that fry.”

“Oh no, you’re the only one eating fries,” Brian said with a shake of his head.

Out of sheer stubbornness, Justin continued to stare at the french fry, his smile growing by the second. Finally temptation won out and he leaned forward to wrap his lips around the end of the fry, his teeth latching onto it so that it stayed with him as he sat back.

“Happy now?” he mumbled after he swallowed the french fry.

Reaching into the bag, Brian extracted a second fry and bit into it immediately. “Very.”


	16. Hazy Sunshine

For the past half hour, Brian had been watching Justin as he slept. He couldn't figure out what had possessed Justin to suggest a trip to the Baths. It wasn't that Brian wouldn't mind partaking in some erotic delights in a public place with the blonde, but he knew not to expect it. With everything Justin had been through with Damian, Brian knew that Justin would never be numbered among the masses who enjoyed having sex with an audience around them. And Brian was okay with that. He would never force Justin to do something that he wasn't comfortable with.

He also had no intentions of telling Justin what to do which was why he had let Justin come to a decision about what to do at the Baths himself. Brian had hoped that it wouldn't come to them actually entering the building, but he would have been prepared to deal with the ramifications if they had.

Gus snuffling from the portable crib set up near the opaque glass dividers pulled Brian from his thoughts. He rolled out of bed and silently padded across the floor towards his son, leaving Justin sleeping peacefully in their bed. The instant he appeared in Gus' line of sight, the infant gurgled happily and reached his hands towards Brian. Brian hoisted Gus out of the crib before the gurgles had the chance to advance to excited chatter that would wake Justin up.

"What are you doing up, Sonnyboy?" Brian murmured as he carried the infant down to the main part of the loft. "I was under the impression that you're supposed to be sleeping through the night."

As if in response, Gus yawned loudly and scrubbed at his eyes with the back of his small hands. Heading over to the large windows that looked over the street below, Brian relished the warm he could feel seeping into his chest from Gus' sleeper covered body. 

"I don't think I'll ever figure out how your dad does it," Brian whispered, staring up at Gus' upturned face. "He's a lot better than your old man. Because I would have gone out this afternoon and purposely hurt him because of something I heard some nameless fuck said to his buddy. I'm Brian Kinney, I'm not supposed to care about what other people think. At least not anyone who doesn't matter...."

Brian desperate wanted a shot of Beam, but didn't think he'd be able to manage pouring the glass while holding onto Gus. It didn't matter that he could pour the same glass while he was high, drunk or a combination of the two, for some reason when he was holding Gus he lost the ability to pour himself alcohol. Granted, he could have easily chugged back a mouthful of the stinging liquid, but he didn't much feel like it.

"Brian...?"

"Out here," Brian called in a loud whisper, glancing over his shoulder in the direction of the bedroom. "Our guest couldn't sleep so I'm keeping him company till he drops off."

There was a slight grin playing across Justin's lips as he crossed over to the window where Brian stood. Brian was relieved to see that smile because there was nothing hiding behind it. 

"The bed was too big," Justin mumbled around a yawn as he leaned up against Brian's larger body. "I think Gus is inheriting your insomniac habits."

"He's just not used to sleeping here," Brian said sadly. He regretted that he wasn't able to spend as much time with Gus as he wanted to. Brian was lucky if he saw his son once a week and he wanted to see Gus much more. He wanted to be a better father than his own had been.

"He knows that you love him," Justin assured him, reading between the lines. "Gus is a very happy, well adjusted baby and you're a part of that reason."

In the same way, Brian knew that he had been having the exact opposite effect on Justin lately. The Kip incident wasn't too far behind them and Brian knew that he had caused a lot of damage with that even if Justin wouldn't admit to it.

"Do you want to tell me what this afternoon was all about?" Brian asked a few minutes later as Gus began to drift off.

Justin's entire body started at the question and he backed half a step away from Brian, his head down.

Reaching out with his free hand, Brian cupped Justin's chin and raised the blonde's head so that he could see his eyes. "You can tell me anything, Justin. You know that. Don't worry about offending me, I'm pretty thick skinned."

A slight smile spread across Justin's features even though he still wouldn't meet Brian's eyes. "It's stupid, Bri."

"Try me."

Justin stared at the wall to the right of Brian's shoulder for another few moments before meeting his lover's eyes. "I thought you were going to do something like you had with Kip and I wanted to distract you."

Having expected something along those lines, Brian was still saddened to have his fears confirmed. He didn't want Justin to feel that way, but it was inevitable given his past. They had never really talked about it, but Brian knew he'd hurt Justin a lot when he'd fucked Kip in their bed.

"I know that when you sleep with other guys it doesn't mean anything," Justin mumbled, scratching absently at the bridge of his nose. "At least not anything more than a release. And I get that. I really do.... But it still hurts when I know about it and this afternoon you looked like you were ready to dump Gus with me and take off for the Baths."

It should have scared Brian that Justin knew him so well. The only person who had ever been able to read his moods like that was Michael, but that was from years of practice. He and Justin had only known each other for little more than six months.

"You know that I can't promise that I won't ever screw up," Brian said quietly, staring at Gus' face rather than at Justin. "I like to fuck. It's a part of who I am."

"I know that," Justin confirmed, his head nodding just within sight of Brian's peripheral vision. "I do. I just freaked out. Panicked. It's something I'm prone to if you haven't noticed before."

"Not just you."

Their conversation dwindled after that as the pair slowly made their way back to bed, pausing only long enough to tuck Gus back in, hopefully for the rest of the night. Brian was still worried about Justin, but it was a less immediate fear. With Damian's trial fast approaching, Brian knew that he was going to have to look into getting Justin to talk with his ex-trick shrink. There was no way that Justin would be able to withstand reliving those months of horror without breaking down at some point.

"I love you, Justin," Brian murmured as he gathered Justin up in his arms once they were back in bed. "I won't ever hurt you intentionally if I can help it."

"I know you won't," Justin whispered as he snuggled up against Brian's side, his head settling on Brian's chest.

Brian stroked his fingers up and down Justin's back, tracing the contours of his spine. With each upward stroke, Justin wiggled a little closer to him until they were pressed together completely. Justin's breath was warm and regular against his chest and before long Brian finally found himself being lulled to sleep.

Saturday passed without much incident. Gus demonstrated to his dads just how dangerous he was now that he had developed a waddling type of crawl. Everything within Gus' reach ended up in his mouth, slobbered and gnawed on, including Brian's favourite ochre, silk button down which he'd left hanging over the side of the couch as a result of his and Justin's mad romp to get naked the previous afternoon.

"That's my favourite shirt," Brian grumbled as he took it over to the sink to clean the cookie mush from the sleeve of the shirt.

"You have a favourite shirt in every colour," Justin reminded him with a snort. "No wait. You have a favourite shirt in every style."

Brian scowled in his direction then went back to cleaning his shirt. "It's all about presentation, Sunshine. You've got to know how to present yourself if you plan on making an impact."

"And that has what to do with Gus eating your shirt?"

"Ha ha," Brian smirked, watching Justin for a few moments as he walked slowly around the open area in the center of the loft, holding Gus up by his hands so that the baby could take energetic, bouncy steps. "What are we doing for dinner?"

"I can make that tomato oregano pizza thing you like," Justin suggested as he steered Gus towards the kitchen counter. "And you can feed Gus strained peas."

Lying his shirt across the upper portion of the island, Brian crossed around the structure so that he could scoop Gus up off the ground. "You tell Daddy that strained peas are gross and you're not going to eat them," Brian said, turning both himself and Gus so that they were facing Justin. "Tell him that you want puréed blueberries."

"Well you tell Dadda that the blueberries are for desert and that you have to have the peas for dinner," Justin singsonged, reaching over to squick Gus' chin.

Gus squealed in delight at the sound of Justin's voice and reached towards the blonde.

"Judas," Brian mumbled in Gus' ear. Giggling, the baby turned his head towards Brian and planted a sloppy kiss on his cheek. "Thanks for that, Sonnyboy."

While Justin went about preparing another one of his cooking creations, Brian partook of the dubious task of feeding Gus strained peas. Not wanting to ruin the black tee he was wearing at the moment, Brian changed into an old wifebeater before opening the jar of baby food. He'd fed Gus enough times to know that his table manners were worse than Justin's when he hadn't eaten in six hours.

"Has anyone ever told you before that you're a complete and utter freak?" Justin asked as Brian descended the stairs in his new clothes. "Gus is a baby, he's supposed to be messy. That doesn't mean you have to overreact."

Brian glared at the blonde as he stalked towards the counter and snatched up the jar of strained peas. "I'm not overreacting. I'm protecting my investment."

"They're clothes," Justin reminded him.

Brian stuck the tip of his tongue out between his teeth before turning towards Gus who was happily playing with a small stuffed bunny in his high chair. "All right, Sonnyboy, time to eat the mess Daddy's picked out for you."

He snorted as he was hit in the back of the head with a towel.

"Admit it, Bri, you like all this domestic stuff," Justin teased as he placed the two homemade pizzas in the oven a short while later.

"I know that I didn't just hear those words come out of your mouth," Brian said with a shake of his head as he plopped the spoon back into the jar. "I'm not domestic."

"I never said you were domestic," Justin laughed, winding his arms around Brian's shoulders from behind. "I'm not that stupid. 1500 on my SATs, remember?"

"Smart ass."

While Brian was distracted with Justin's fingers that were sneaking down the front of his shirt, Gus decided that he didn't like being ignored and grabbed hold of the spoon, pulling it out of the container of baby food. Gus managed to get it at the right angle so that both Brian and Justin ended up smeared with green mush.

"Oh that's just disgusting," Brian groaned, glaring down at the mess on his shirt.

Justin laughed loudly, hugging Brian tighter against him. "He's a baby, Brian. They're hardly even neat."

"But Gus is my son. He should be genetically programmed to be neat," Brian protested as he snatched a damp washcloth off the table to wipe the excess green goo from his shirt. He then turned and began to dab at Justin's cheek. "You've got some on your face."

Once the strained peas had been removed from Justin's cheek, Brian leaned forward so that his lips brushed against Justin's. He slipped an arm around Justin's shoulders, pulling the blonde down into his lap which brought a bark of laughter from both him and Gus. Brian held Justin's face in both his hands and slowly began to devour Justin's lips. As he pried Justin's teeth apart with his tongue, the blonde maneuvered around so that he was straddling Brian's thighs.

"What in the hell are you doing?!"

Justin bolted away from Brian so quickly that his back connected with the edge of the table and he tumbled down to the ground. While Brian was helping Justin off the ground, he craned his neck only to see Melanie charging towards them.

"What are you doing here?" Brian demanded, glaring at Melanie as he rose to his feet along with Justin. "This isn't your home. You can't just barge in here whenever you want.... Why are you here anyway? Aren't you supposed to be in Miami?"

Gus started getting fussy then so Brian turned around to scoop him out of his high chair, unmindful of the strained peas that was smeared all over his face when Gus burrowed his head against the side of his throat.

"Give me my son," Melanie growled, holding her hands out towards Brian. "I don't know what the hell Lindsay was thinking leaving him with you, but I'm taking him Gus home with me."

"No, you're not. Lindsay left him with us," Brian countered as he handed Gus over to Justin. "Take him into the bathroom and clean him up, okay?" he murmured, brushing a kiss against Gus' forehead before turning back to the irate lawyer. "Now, where were we? That's right, you _not_ leaving here with Gus. He's my son, Melanie.... Who the hell are you?"

Melanie glared up at him and took a menacing step forward. "I'm someone who knows how to put his needs before mine."

"Get off your moral high horse, counselor," Brian snorted, taking half a step back so that he could lean comfortably against the table. "Gus is fine. Justin and I haven't done anything that you and Lindsay never did in front of him. We were kissing. It's not like I'd thrown him across the table and was fucking him while Gus was looking on. I'm not going to do that in front of my son."

"Well I'm not going to take that chance. Now give me your keys."

Brian's eyes widened and he crossed his arms over his chest, wincing slightly as his arm graced the wet spot on his shirt. "Why?"

"I'm getting the carseat out of your jeep," she informed him, holding her hand out towards him.

"No, you're not. Gus is staying right here. With his fathers. You try and take him and I'll have you charged with kidnapping," Brian informed her as he pushed himself away from the table. "You know the way out."

Not bothering to give Melanie a final look, Brian bounded up the stairs to the bedroom and, beyond that, the bathroom where Justin was having a battle of wills with Gus who was determined to have a tug of war with the washcloth Justin was using to wipe his face. Gus' entire face lit up when he was Brian and he reached a hand in his father's direction.

"Are you giving your dad a hard time?" Brian asked the baby, snatching the washcloth from Justin's hand and quickly cleaning Gus' mouth and cheeks. "That's not very nice, Sonnyboy."

Gus gave a gurgled shout and latched onto the cowry shell bracelet Brian was wearing.

"Where's Mel?" Justin asked quietly as he reached a hand out to play with the whispy strands of Gus' dark hair.

A loud clanging bang answered the question for Justin.

"Wow."


	17. Hazy Sunshine

As he set a plate of French toast down in front of Emmett, Justin could feel Brian's eyes on him. He'd left the other man sleeping soundly in their bed that morning so that he could get to the diner on time for his shift which meant no early morning fuck in the shower.

"You know, baby, I don't think you're doing your job," Emmett scolded, pointing a fork in his direction. "You are supposed to be keeping the esteemed Mr. Kinney from looking so ravenous."

"I'm holding off until I receive all of my back pay," Justin deadpanned. He started to say something else, but ended up squeaking when Brian latched onto his wrist and pulled him down into his lap. "Oh, is this my payment?"

Brian glared at him even as he tenderly wound his arms around Justin's waist. "What are you doing next Friday night?"

"Is this a trick question?" Justin asked, a smile curving his lips as he leaned into Brian's shoulder.

"Serious question."

With that bit of information, Justin straightened up, mentally going through his schedule for the following week. "I think I work from 3 to 8. Why?"

"See if you can switch shifts with someone," Brian instructed as he pulled Justin back against him once again. "We need to go shopping after your shift today too so I'll meet you at the loft."

Emmett perked up at that, French toast forgotten. "Shopping? Did I hear my favourite word?"

"If you think I'm going to take you with me to buy a tux for Justin you're even more insane than I thought," Brian snorted, his breath brushing against Justin's ear.

"You're buying a tux for the Boy Wonder?" Michael demanded as he slid in across from them, sitting next to Emmett. Dr. Dave reluctantly took the seat next to Brian's feet.

"Not that it's any of your business, but yeah," Brian ground out, glaring at Dr. Dave who was probably sitting too close to the Prada boots for the ad exec's taste. Justin was actually surprised that Michael hadn't taken that seat. It was a well known fact that Brian couldn't stand Michael's chiropractic boyfriend and Michael normally took every chance he could to be near Brian.

"Do we get to know why you're buying Justin a suit?" Emmett asked, practically bouncing up and down in his seat. "I'm assuming it's for this mystery date next Friday."

Michael let out a sarcastic bark of laughter. "Oh please. Like Brian would go on a date."

"Actually, it is a date," Brian contradicted him rather smugly.

"What?" everyone else at the table said at once.

Justin twisted himself around so that he could see Brian's face. "We're going on a date? Where are we going on a date to?"

"I'm nominated for ad person of the year and I'm taking Sunshine with me to the awards dinner," Brian informed the four of them.

"You shit! Why didn't you tell me?" Justin demanded, slapping Brian's bicep with the back of his hand.

Brian arched an eyebrow, leaning back against the wall. "I didn't know I had to report to you about   
everything."

"If you want to benefit from the celebration of it, you do," Justin grinned, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

The brunette said nothing, but slid his fingertips under the hem of Justin's tee, lightly stroking his stomach.

"Doesn't he have to get back to work?" Michael griped when it became quite obvious that Brian had no intentions of releasing Justin. "I doubt you get paid for sitting around so get me scrambled eggs, bacon and raisin toast. Some orange juice too. What do you want, Dave?"

"I'll just have some coffee and some raisin toast," Dr. Dave said as he moved out of the booth so that Justin could slide out of the booth.

Giving Brian's hand a squeeze, Justin extracted it from under his shirt so that he could get out of the booth. He didn't really want to leave, and he was technically on a break, but he figured that it would be easier to just get out of the way of Michael's bad mood. Justin knew that Michael would never like him. The older man's hatred for him had died down some in the past few months, but the two of them would never be friends. Justin could try as much as he wanted to, for Brian’s sake, but it would never be enough. Michael would always see him as an interloper. Someone who didn't belong.

"Do you think you'd be able to convince Brian to bring my digital camera with you to this awards thing?" Sally asked as the two of them lounged on the ex-cheerleader's bed. "That way you can tape him when he wins his award so that the rest of us can see it."

"Remind me again how long you've known Brian?" Justin laughed, dropping one of the countless pillows that littered the bed onto her face. "Do you really think he'd agree to something like that?"

Sally immediately yanked the pillow off her face and whacked Justin with it. "Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?"

"Dream all you want, it doesn't mean that Brian's going to let you video tape him. He's already nixed your idea to set up that camera in our bedroom so that you can take us having sex," he reminded her, unable to keep from smirking as he remembered the look on Brian's face when Sally had first suggested the idea to him. 

The digital DVD recorder had been a birthday/early graduation present from her parents and since then Sally'd been trying to capture every aspect of life on that camera. She'd even suggested them capturing their brief adventure into the world of hetero sex a few weeks back. Justin knew that she had aspiration of being a director, but that didn't mean he wanted to be her guinea pig while she was figuring out her technique. He also didn't want to star in her Liberty Avenue reality show.

"Oh come on," Sally pouted as she slumped dramatically against the pillows at the head of the bed. "Can you at least bring my normal digital camera so that you can take pictures of him when he gets his award?"

"He hasn't wont the award yet, so don't jinx him," Justin said, reaching over to knock his fist against her wooden nightstand. "And no I won't be taking any pictures. I'm just going to be sitting at the table with him, his boss and his assistant, cheering him on."

Sally rolled her eyes dramatically. "You are no fun whatsoever. You won't tape you and Brian having sex, you won't let me tape us having sex now you won't tape Brian at the awards thing. Next thing you know you won't even let me tape you and Brian at prom."

Justin startled at that, nearly cracking his head off the wooden headboard when he realized just what Sally had said. "Who said that I was even going to ask Brian to the prom? Do you think I'm completely insane?"

"Can you just imagine the way everyone would react if you showed up with Brian?"

"Everyone knows I'm queer, Sal. It wouldn't be that big of a deal."

"But just imagine if they didn't," Sally mused, a mischievous grin appearing on her face. "I mean their heads would probably explode if you showed up at the prom on Brian's arm."

"Except I'm not going to," Justin said slowly, making sure that the words got through to Sally.

The idea was completely ludicrous. It was one thing for him to go to the dinner with Brian, but going to his senior prom with another man was completely out of the question. The fact that he was openly gay while still in high school and wasn't a social pariah was a miracle. He should have been an outcast, it was what he'd expected when everything with Damian had come out in the fall. His name had never been mentioned in the papers or on the news, but most of the people at US Grant, especially the other seniors, had linked his extensive absences in late October/early November to the events in the news. No one really said anything about it, but they knew. And Justin made no attempt to hide the fact that he was queer.

It was something he had learned from Brian.

Justin doubted that he would ever have Brian's confidence. His lover was incredibly charming and charismatic and Justin didn't think that he could ever be that. Oh he could put on a front and make everyone believe that he wasn't always close to breaking apart at the seams. There were slip ups, though. His foolish attempt at going to the Baths was proof enough of that. Justin knew he wouldn't be able to handle the Baths, but at the time he'd thought it was the only way to keep Brian's interest and to keep himself from getting hurt.

Brian was out and proud, though, and thought nothing of it when the two of them arrived arm and arm at the downtown Marriott. There were some photographers there, mostly for promotional purposes where the different advertising agencies were concerned, but there was some media coverage as well. And while Justin was sure that they weren't the only queer couple in attendance, they were the most open about it.

"I am perfectly capable of pulling out my own chair," Justin smirked as he gazed between Brian and the chair that he had pulled out from their table. "Cynthia, would you please sit there?"

"I'm not about to protest having my chair pulled out for me," the assistant grinned, sliding into the seat Brian had intended for Justin. "Thanks, Bri."

"No problem," he grumbled, leaning over to brush a kiss against her cheek. "At least someone appreciates my noble gestures."

Even though he knew the words were not meant to do so, Justin still felt bad for turning down the offered seat. It was just that even after all the time he'd been with Brian, he was still unused to such kindnesses outside of the loft. Justin got skittish when the chance came for others to see how Brian was when they were alone. It wasn't something that he was used to because usually they only went out to the bars, the diner or a few restaurants near the loft.

As Brian walked around him, towards his own seat, Justin reached over and latched onto his arm. He waited until Brian met his eyes then offered him an apologetic smile. "I appreciate the gesture, it's just...."

"I know, Sunshine," Brian murmured, leaning forward to press a kiss to the blonde's forehead.

The two stood against each other for a few moments before taking their seats at the table. Marty Ryder and his wife were the only two other people at their table, the five of them representing Ryder Agency with Brian as their figurehead. He was the one nominated for the award and the one who would bring attention to the agency if he won.

Dinner was just winding down when a loud voice came over the sound system, "Presenting tonight's Atlas award, Adam Lyons."

The man in question strode across the stage at the front of the room with the same confident swagger that all successful advertisers seemed to embody, taking his place at the podium. "Thank you.... At Kennedy and Collins where I work in New York we have this saying: 'The only thing better than great sex is a great ad campaign.'"

Justin heard Brian snort at the comment and arched an eyebrow at his lover. Without looking over at him, Brian reached over and sunk his fingers into his hair.

"So when I was asked to come to Pittsburgh to help chose the ad person of the year what I was looking for was someone who could give great ad," Adam Lyons continued, the play on works earning him another snort. "Someone whose work would make me stand up and take notice. Well, after reviewing this year's entries I believe we've found him.... This year's Atlas award for Pittsburgh's ad person of the year goes to...." the New Yorker took the obligatory pause to open an envelope and keep the audience in suspense. "Brian Kinney."

Justin's eyes widened when he heard Brian's name being called. Then a huge smile spread across his face and he leaned over to kiss the corner of Brian's mouth. Apparently not satisfied with that, Brian grabbed hold of Justin's cheeks, turning his head so that he could briefly plunder Justin's mouth with his own.

"I'll be right back," Brian murmured against his lips as he rose from his seat.

Brian straightened the jacket of his tux as he made his way towards the front of the room to accept his award. The whole time, Justin was clapping so hard that his palms started to hurt. He knew how hard Brian worked at his job, how many nights he stayed up late fine tuning various campaigns and presentations. His lover definitely deserved that award and was thrilled to see him winning.

"You know, it's a good thing Brian's already made partner," Cynthia whispered in his ear as Brian accepted his award from the New York ad man. "If he hadn't, this definitely wouldn't have given Brian the leverage he needed because an award like this could definitely get him a job in New York."

Justin could only stare at her in disbelief. For a moment, he had a brief flash of panic, imagining the possibility of Brian going to New York and leaving him behind. He was already set to go to the Pittsburgh Institute of Fine Arts, complete with some hefty scholarships, and he doubted that he still had the time to get himself some more scholarships for a New York university let alone get accepted into a descent visual arts program. Besides, Pittsburgh was his home and Justin wasn't sure that he was ready to move too far away from his home base.

"I have just been informed that I'm supposed to make an acceptance speech right now," Brian drawled as he came to stand in front of the podium. "I assume they want me to get all blubbery and be grateful for winning this. Anyone who knows me knows that that's not going to happen. I mean what other choice did you have, anyway? I won this award because I'm the best that there is in this 'burgh and I won't act all modest and pretend otherwise. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got some celebrating to do."

Justin wanted to be surprised by Brian's blunt speech, but he really wasn't. He knew his lover too well to have expected anything less. So he laughed and applauded along with everyone else and tried to figure out what to do with himself when Brian disappeared to the back of the stage. Justin didn't really know anyone else at their table-- he'd only talked to Cynthia a few times on the phone --and besides that he was at least eight years younger than anyone at the table. They were all finished school and firmly entrenched in the advertising industry while he hadn't even graduated from high school. He was a child compared to them and while he could get alone fine with Brian and his friends, Justin didn't think he was up to conversing with some of Pittsburgh's elite.

"I take it you're going to enjoy celebrating with Brian," Cynthia grinned, winking conspiratorially at Justin. "He's been planning this for a while now."

That immediately caught Justin's attention. "Celebration? What celebration?"

"Oh shit," Cynthia cursed under her breath. "I thought Brian would have told you about it by now."

"Told me about what?" Justin demanded, turning in his seat so that he was looking at his lover's assistant. "Where are we going?"

Cynthia shook her head as she held a glass of wine to her lips. "Can't tell you. Brian'll have my ass if I tell you."

Justin was about to reach for his own glass of wine when a pair of arms slipped around his shoulders and deposited a trophy on the table before him. Smirking slightly, Justin picked up Brian's Atlas award, inspecting the gold plated trophy.

"'Atlas ad person of the year Brian Kinney,'" Justin read for the plaque at the bottom of the trophy.

"You sound surprised, Sunshine," Brian snorted as he slid into the seat next to him. "Are you doubting my persuasive capabilities?"

Justin held up his hands in mock surrender. "I said no such thing."

Brian caught Justin behind the head and drew the blonde into a lingering kiss that made Justin's toes curl. For Brian, though, it was a very chaste kiss, their mouths opening just enough for their tongues to lightly brush together.

"You ready to get out of here?" Brian murmured against his lips after the kiss had ended. "We have places to go before the night is over."

After saying a quick goodbye to their tablemates, Justin allowed Brian to lead him from the elegant banquet hall. He was desperate to ask where they were going, but he knew that the older man would never tell him. Brian enjoyed dramatic surprises. Those surprises could be hazardous to a person's well being if Brian was in a vindictive mood, but there were also the good ones. Their trip to upstate New York the previous fall had been a good surprise. Until their weekend had been ended early by Lindsay's frantic phone call, Justin had been having the best time of his life.

Instead of going outside, Brian led them to the elevators in the lobby.

"I know that Cynthia already spilled the beans so don't bother acting surprised," Brian said as he pressed the button for one of the top floors of the hotel.

"Cynthia never told me you got a room here," Justin defended, leaning against Brian's side. "All she said was that we were going to celebrate.... Which makes me wonder how you knew ahead of time that there would be a reason to celebrate. How did you know that you were going to win tonight?"

Brian huffed indignantly, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm not even going to dignify that, Sunshine. So when we get to my floor, you can just go back down to the lobby and take a bus home."

Justin gaped at his lover, not sure whether he should take Brian seriously or not. "Bri?"

The older man remained silent for the rest of the elevator ride, worrying Justin. He didn't know how he should take Brian's silence, whether it meant he was serious or not. It was sometimes hard to tell with Brian. Slowly, Justin began to slide away from Brian, putting distance between the two of them. The last things to part were their hands, their fingers having been twined together the entire time. He wasn't allowed to, though, because Brian tightened his grip on Justin's fingers, refusing to let him go.

"Ryder's thinking of having me start up a new branch of the agency in New York."

Justin's eyes widened and he stared up at Brian in shock. "New York? You'd be moving to New York? When?"

"July, August," Brian said as the elevator doors opened on their floor. "He's been thinking of doing it for a while now and since there's a second partner now it can happen."

Pursing his lips, Justin nodded his head slowly. In his mind he was already figuring out how he was going to support himself when Brian left Pittsburgh. Sally was planning on moving out into her own apartment when she started at Carnegie Mellon in the fall and she'd told him more than once that he was more than welcome to move in with her if he felt like living on his own for a while. He could get more shifts at the diner to cover his part of the rent and food and the part of his tuition that wasn't covered by his scholarships.

"I know it's probably too late for you to get into any schools there for the fall term, but you should be okay for the winter term," Brian continued, scratching at his temple as they walked down the corridor.

Justin stopped in his tracks, staring at Brian in shock. "You want me to go with you?"

Stopping himself, Brian craned his neck around so that he could see the blonde. "That was the general idea, yeah."

Squealing in delight, Justin covered the distance that separated them and threw himself in Brian's arms.

"Easy there, Sunshine," Brian grinned, grabbing hold of Justin's hips as the young artist wound his legs around his waist. "New York's not even a done deal yet. I could be stuck wasting away in the Pitts for the rest of my life."

Reaching up, Justin held Brian's face in his hands, uncaring of the fact that they were still standing in the middle of the hallway as he began to plunder Brian's mouth.


	18. Hazy Sunshine

Thursday nights, Justin worked late. It was usually at least midnight before he got home. Brian didn't mind, though, because it gave him a chance to hang out with Michael without having to worry about what snide comments his friend would make about Justin in the blonde's hearing range. As much as he loved Michael, he wouldn't allow the other man to purposely hurt his lover.

So Wednesday nights he met Michael at Woody's for a few drinks and to shoot some pool until he went to pick Justin up after his shift at the diner.

"So how's life at the Big Q?" Brian asked as he sauntered over to the bar where Michael already sat with a beer in hand.

"It's life at the Big Q. Same as it's always been," Michael smirked, giving Brian an odd look. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

"Double Beam," Brian said to the bartender, plopping down on the seat next to his friend. Swiveling the seat around so that he was facing Michael, Brian flashed him a broad grin. "What has me in a good mood?"

Michael rolled his eyes dramatically. "I already said that. Now answer the question."

Brian waited until he double shot of alcohol was placed in front of him, swigging it back in a single gulp that made his throat burn wonderfully. "New York."

Once again Michael's eyes rolled in the direction of the ceiling. "What precisely about New York, dumbass?"

"I'm moving there. With Justin. This summer," Brian said casually as he motioned for the bartender to refill the glass. "Marty wants me to set up a New York base for the firm."

In the weeks that had passed since the Atlas awards Brian and Marty Ryder had been making definite plans for setting up a second branch of the agency. That weekend he and Cynthia were set to check out possible office spaces with the possibility of a second weekend if none of them met Brian's high standards. Then there was also the task of deciding which employees were going to New York and which would be staying in the Pitts, how to separate the already active accounts and a huge list of other things that made Brian's head hurt when he tried to read the stacks of papers Cynthia kept bringing him.

Michael's lips were pulled were pulled up into a sneer as he sulked on the stool next to Brian. "Why are you brining the Boy Wonder with you? Isn't he old enough to take care of himself?"

"He's coming with me because I asked him to," Brian ground out, glaring briefly at his friend before downing his second shot of Beam. "Now we're changing the subject before you insert your foot too far down your throat. How are things with you and Dr. Dave?"

Right away Brian knew that something was up because Michael's features shrunk inward. That was always a sure sign that the comic book lover was conflicted about something. Of course, knowing Michael, it could be anything from the latest issue of Captain Astro to the Vic's recent trials with the insurance companies.

"Dave wants me to move to Portland with him," Michael said at last, glancing at Brian out of the corner of his eye.

"Good for you," Brian said immediately, slapping his friend on the back.

"I haven't even said yes yet," Michael said defensively. "We've only been living together for a few months and now he wants to move to the other side of the country. How do I know we're going to last? We could be over in a month and then what?"

"Did you ever consider the fact that you and Dr. Dave could spend the rest of your lives living fabulously in Portland?" Brian questioned, arching an eyebrow in the other man's direction. "So what if you've only known each other for a few months? Justin and I have been living together since day one and we're still blissfully happy."

This time it was Michael's eyebrow that was arching. "Blissfully happy? Since when are those words in your vocabulary?"

"Am I not allowed to be happy or something?" Brian demanded, swiveling the stool so that he faced Michael head on. "Am I supposed to spend the rest of my life all along, fucking my brains out with different guys each night? 'Cause, I've gotta tell you, Mikey, that sounds like a pretty unfulfilling life."

"But what about no apologies, no regrets?"

Brian pulled his lips inward, fingering the rim of the empty glass in front of him. "That philosophy really doesn't work when you start to admit that you do have regrets."

"What on earth could you possibly have to regret?" Michael asked, genuinely shocked.

Brian stared at his friend incredulously. There was no way Michael was naive enough to think that he had lived his entire life without regret. To do that would have required a complete and utter lack of a conscience. And while he hadn't always listened to his conscience in the past, it did exist and he did feel guilty for the things he did against its will.

"There's a lot in my life I regret, Mikey, and you'll regret it too if you don't try to make it work with Dr. Dave," Brian advised him as headed over to a newly abandoned pool table.

After their initial argument, the rest of the night passed without incident. As long as the topic of Justin didn't come up, there were never any problems between the two of them and they could slip into their usual rolls. The things that had amused them when they were teenagers still made them laugh and they could talk about nothing long into the night. That was the thing Brian loved about Michael most; the fact that he didn't have to think around the older man. Michael rarely had anything deep to say and when he did it was usually comic book related.

"Hey, Bri, you do realize that guy's been making passes at you all night long, right?" Michael asked as Brian set up his final shot of the game. "He's pretty hot."

"Not interested," Brian said automatically, not even bothering to look up.

"How can you not be interested?" Michael demanded, his voice taking on the whiney tone that got on Brian's nerves. "The guy's hot."

Lining up the shot, Brian sunk the eight ball in the desired pocket. "You said that already."

"Then why are you still here when you could go fuck him?" Michael seemed genuinely perplexed, shaking his head at the notion that Brian wouldn't take up the blatant offer. "You do it all the time."

"And right now I'm not," Brian sighed as he reached for his beer which was resting on the side of the table.

Michael gaped at that, as though the world was about to go crashing down around them. "You're shitting me, right?"

Finishing his swallow of beer, Brian held his arms out to his sides. "What's so shocking, Mikey? I live with an insatiable blonde with a killer ass who's getting off work in about an hour. Chances are we'll be up till at least three in the morning fucking so why waste my time with someone who will probably end up being a pathetic lay?"

That silenced Michael right away. He stared at Brian, his mouth flubbering in that way it did when he wanted to say something but couldn't find the right words. Brian waited patiently, wanting to see if Michael would come up with another supposed excuse to rationalize him fucking the guy who was making eyes at him.

"Besides, I've had him before."

It wasn't true, but Michael seemed immensely relieved to hear it. His body relaxed and he went to get them a new round of beers while Brian set up a new round of pool. He wanted to be enraged that Michael thought so little of him, but he couldn't be. He'd never given Michael any reason to believe he was capable of anything else. Still, he wanted to think that Michael would at least have a little faith in him.

Ten minutes before Justin's shift was over, Brian chugged back the rest of his beer. "I gotta go. See you later."

"It's not even midnight," Michael protested as Brian began to slide into his leather jacket.

"Which is why I'm leaving."

Michael started to protest, but Brian silenced him with a quick peck on the lips. Resisting the urge to suck his lips inward to replace the taste lingering on his lips with that of the beer in his mouth. Instead he smiled then made his way out of the bar and down the street to where he'd parked the 'vette.

Brian was glad that Michael was away. The older man needed to get away from his security blanket and actually start to have his own life. Deb wouldn't be able to smother him if he was on the other side of the country. Brian hoped that Michael would be able to finally come into his own and stopped behaving like he had when they were still in high school. Michael was thirty and it was time for him to finally wake up.

Brian shuddered involuntarily at the notion of his friend turning thirty since it meant that his own birthday was fast approaching. In two weeks it would be time for his own dreaded birthday. This time last year, Brian had envisioned that he would be on a on a drug and sex binge to live up the final stretch of time before he became ancient. Instead he was on his way to see his boyfriend. Said boyfriend couldn't even buy his own alcohol without the aid of a fake ID and even with the twelve years difference in their ages Brian felt like he was on an equal footing with the teen. Which was either a compliment on Justin's maturity or a statement of his own lack of depending on his mood.

Of course sometimes it happened in reverse and Justin was the one lacking some maturity like when he came bouncing out of the break room and continued with the bouncing until he was across the diner and in his arms.

"Hi," Justin chirped, hoisting himself up higher so that his legs were wrapped firmly around Brian's waist.

Immediately Brian caught sight of a smattering of purple dust along the top of Justin's lips. "Where is she?"

Furrowing his brows, Justin tilted his head to the side. "Where's who?"

"That damn smurf who pumped you full of pixie stix," Brian ground out, shaking his head in disbelief. "Don't tell me she just did this damage and ran off."

"Nope. Didn't do that," Justin giggled, wiggling around just enough to make Brian's jean incredibly uncomfortable. "Irina came and dragged her away. Are you here to drag me away?"

Brian was silently cursing Sally for once again turning his lover's bloodstream into pure sugar. In all his life, he had never known anyone who was quite so affected by sugar as Justin was. It was almost the equivalent of when the blonde got high.

Suddenly Justin scrunched his face up and pulled back so suddenly that Brian almost lost his hold on him. "You reek of cigarette smoke."

"I was at Woody's. It happens," Brian reminded him, shaking his head slightly as he set Justin down on the ground. "Come along, Sunshine, time to go home."

Justin latched on to Brian's arms, shaking his head furiously. "No. No home. I wanna go to Babylon. Can we go to Babylon?"

Knowing just how easily Justin was to distract when he was on a sugar kick, Brian said nothing as he guided the younger man from the diner. Having seen Justin in that state many times before he knew the remedy. Babylon was one option, but Brian didn't feel like babysitting his hyperactive boyfriend that night so he was going with plan B.

Plan B was Brian's personal favourite because it involved fucking his hyperactive boyfriend into the mattress until the teen passed out. It was a truly effective way of silencing the artist that Brian had discovered early on in their relationship. Being a teenager, Justin was incredibly insatiable and Brian took full advantage of that fact whenever he could.

There were other times when Brian had no need to take advantage of a situation because often times Justin's own exuberance set things in motion.

Which was how Brian found himself stretched out on his back in the center of their bed with Justin writhing on his lap. The blonde's hands were pressed against his chest for leverage as he fucked himself on Brian's cock. Normally Brian would have joined in on the fun, but he was enjoying watching Justin pleasure himself. His head was thrown back and the blue lights reflecting off his damp skin made him look like some kind of supernatural being. 

Then Justin tilted his head back down, his wide blue eyes locking on to Brian's hazel ones. Justin's hands began to slide up Brian's torso until they rested in the bedding on either side of his head. Brian lifted his head up just enough so that his lips were able to brush against Justin's fluttering ones. Time and again the blonde's mouth was moving as though to speak, but the only sound to escape his throat was a low keening sound. Justin's thrusts were becoming jerky and irregular, a sure sign that he was close to climax.

Brian brought his hands up to cup Justin's face, holding it still so that he could properly plunder the blonde's mouth. Justin responded wholeheartedly, his teeth gnashing against Brian's in his enthusiasm.

"I love you. I love you. I love you," Brian felt breathed into his mouth, Justin's lips still locked on his own.

Seconds later, Justin was sitting upright once again and the keening became a wail as his body stiffened and semen erupted from his cock in long, viscous squirts. Justin's hole shuddering and contracting around his own shaft, along with Justin's continued thrusting, was enough send Brian over the edge as well.

"I love you too," Brian murmured as he pulled Justin back down to rest against his chest.

Justin's response was to press a lazy, open-mouthed kiss against his chest.

As he had expected, Justin fell asleep soon afterwards. Brian waited until he was sure that Justin was deeply asleep before rolling the smaller man over onto his back, the motion causing his limp dick to slide completely from Justin's ass. Brian made quick work disposing of the condom and cleaning them both up before he too joined Justin in slumber.

The alarm came all too soon the next morning. Brian went to burrow his face into his pillow only to discover that his pillow had been replaced by the valley between Justin's shoulder blades.

"Make it stop," he moaned into Justin's flesh.

There was a snuffling sound from Justin but nothing else. Reluctantly rolling away from Justin's sleepy warmth, Brian fumbled for the alarm clock, smacking his hand down on the top of it to silence the incessant beeping. He had just enough time to flop down on his stomach before Justin was curled against his side.

The pair of them laid there for a few minutes, each working up the energy needed to actually get out of bed and get started on the day. 

"Are you sure it's not Saturday?" Justin mumbled as he wiggled around so that his face was resting next to Brian's. "That we can't stay in bed all day? Fucking and sucking in any and all imagined positions?"

"I have a meeting," Brian grinned sleepily, pressing his forehead to Justin's. "And I do believe that you have some prancing in a white miniskirt to do."

"Dress rehearsal isn't till after school," Justin protested. "There is no miniskirt action until after school so I can lounge around in bed all day with you."

"Nice try, Sunshine. You and your sugar hangover are going to school."

In the end, all it took was his stalking naked towards the shower to have Justin out from under the covers and stumbling in the direction of the bathroom with a plaintive, "Wait for me."

When they parted ways that morning, it was with the promise of a celebration for Justin's opening night performance as Mercutio. Having seen the blonde wandering about the loft spouting various lines from the centuries' old play, Brian knew that the performance would be interesting. Especially if all the flamboyant hip swaying and sashaying were a part of his portrayal. He wasn't too sure how he felt about seeing his boyfriend prancing around in drag, though, in a skirt that was almost indecent it was so short.

Once he was on his own, driving his Corvette downtown to work, Brian conscience started acting up. He didn't like the way he'd left things with Michael the night before. The truth was that he did care that Michael was possibly moving across the country with Dr. Dave. It was one thing when he was the one moving to New York. New York and Pittsburgh weren't that far apart and he and Justin could easily take weekend trips to the Pitts. Portland was a completely different matter. 

Fishing his cell phone out of the inside pocket of his coat, Brian dialed the number for the Big Q.

"Good morning, Big Q, how may I direct your call?" the girl who answered the phone greeted.

"Mike Novotny."

Brian was put on hold while he was transferred to Michael's extension, his ears assaulted by some terrible music as a result. It took a few minutes, but then there was a click on the other end and;

"The Big Q, Michael Novotny speaking."

"Hey, Mikey," Brian grinned, bringing the 'vette to a slow stop as he approached a red light.

"Brian, hey. How come you're calling so early? Is everything all right?" the older man demanded, startled.

Honking at a car that was slow at advancing when the light turned green, Brian rolled his eyes at both the driver and his friend. "Are all Italians such worriers? Everyone's fine. But I have meetings all morning so this is the only chance I have to call and see if you want to get together for lunch."

"Lunch. Sure," Michael stammered. "I'd like that."


	19. Hazy Sunshine

"Remind me again why I let you convince me t hat this was a good idea," Justin grumbled as he stood off stage in a white sequined halter-top and matching mini skirt. Newly added to his costume were a pair of white go-go boots.

"Because you love me," his best friend said confidently.

Justin shook his head, frowning slightly. "No, that's not it. I think you must have hypnotized me when he had that costume meeting."

"I did no such thing," Sally scoffed, doing her utmost to look offended. "I may have spiked your pop with some excess sugar, but never once did I hypnotize you. Now get ready, it's time for you to do your Queen Medb speech."

"I hate you."

Glaring at her a final time, Justin sauntered onto the stage, doing his utmost to appear larger than life as Mercutio's persona required. As expected there was a great deal of laughter as the spotlight shone down on him and even though he couldn't see him, he knew that Brian was rolling his eyes. Shoving that all aside, Justin slipped easily into the role of the flamboyant Italian.

And received a standing ovation when it was his turn to take a bow at the end. Thankfully for the final bows he was wearing his leather pants from his brief stint as Sid Vicious and a loose white silk button-down rather than his other costume and didn't have to worry about revealing too much when he bent over. As he went to take a step back, Justin waved a hand in the direction he knew Brian and the rest of his family to be sitting.

As soon as the curtain came down raced over to him, launching herself into his arms with an excited squeal. "It went off without a hitch! Everything was perfect! All of my videos worked and you two had the most dramatic death scenes!"

Turning his head, Justin saw Billy coming over to join them, an equally huge smile on his face. "Why thank you, madame producer. Glad you approve."

Sally punched Billy on the shoulder, nearly tumbling out of Justin's arms in the process. Before Justin had even fully regained his hold on her, Sally was wiggling out of his arms and sidling closer to Billy. Justin started to ask her what was wrong and she pointed over his shoulder. His confusion vanished when he turned and saw Brian striding towards him.

With a quick wave to Sally and Billy, Justin moved towards his lover, his smile growing when he saw the single red rose dangling from Brian's fingers.

"No more death scenes," Brian murmured as he slid his free hand up to cup the back of Justin's neck. "You're far too good at them and I'd really rather not watch you crumple and die."

Sliding a hand up Brian's arm, Justin kneaded the taller man's bicep with nimble fingers. "There will be no crumpling and dying. Promise."

Brian nodded his head and held the rose out to Justin, a slight smile quirking the corners of his lips. "I'm going to hold you to that. Now go get rid of all that make up, you have a celebration to attend.... The clothes stay, though. It's been a while since I've been able to enjoy those leather pants."

By the time they'd been at Babylon for fifteen minutes the leather pants were all that he was wearing aside from his boots. He and Brian were pressed together chest to chest, their bodies writhing sensuously in tune with the music, ignoring all else around them. The pair danced late into the night, long after everyone else had left and would have stayed later if the club hadn't been about to close.

And while Justin was enjoying every moment of having Brian all to himself, there was a definite ulterior motive that his lover knew nothing about. Brian's birthday had begun a few hours before and it was his job to keep him distracted so that their friends could decorate the loft for the momentous celebration. He'd purposely avoided finding out any of the details so that he couldn't be blamed for things like coffins turning up in the loft.

Justin did his utmost to steer Brian away from the glossy black coffin that was set up in front of the window near the desk and into their bedroom. A tactic that was made even easier when he wiggled his leather clad ass in the older man's direction.

"You should wear these on a much more regular basis," Brian murmured against the side of Justin's throat as they staggered towards the bed. His hands were clutching at Justin's hips, grinding against the blonde's rear.

"You're not the one who would have to wear them," Justin smirked, reaching back to get a hold of Brian's ass. "They're very uncomfortable."

"Then we'd better get you out of them."

"But I didn't get to wrap your present," the blonde pouted as he crawled forward onto the bed, his exaggerated movements emphasizing his rounded bottom.

He flopped over onto his back just in time to see Brian pounce on him. He was laughing even as the air rushed from his lungs, clutching Brian to him. He was enjoying a nice buzz from the shots of Beam he'd consumed at Babylon and his skin was wonderfully sensitized as Brian's fingers and lips ran over his skin.

The following morning it was his ass that was feeling overly sensitized from several hours of hard pounding. He'd enjoyed every second of it, though, and snuggled up to Brian who was still sleeping soundly. Glancing over Brian's shoulder at the alarm clock, he saw that he still had a bit of time before the rest of the family showed up to begin the day long party they had planned for Brian's thirtieth birthday. Right on cue, the front door of the loft was opened as quietly as possible just after nine o'clock and the room was filled with excited whispers. Almost immediately, Brian began to stir, the noise waking him.

"Happy birthday," Justin murmured, leaning in to brush his lips against Brian's. 

"Bite your tongue," a sleepy voice whined as Brian's features screwed up before he slowly blinked his eyes open. "Just go back to sleep and we'll pretend that this day isn't happening."

"Sorry, but you're still gonna be thirty tomorrow," Justin informed him, earning him a glare from the brunette.

"Not if we don't tell anyone," the sleepy man pleaded.

Unfortunately for him, that was the moment that everyone else chose to spring the surprise on the unsuspecting birthday boy.

"Wake up, sleepy head," Lindsay singsonged as she plopped down on Brian's other side.

"Go away," Brian grumbled, burrowing his head into Justin's shoulder. 

Glancing over Brian's shoulder at group of their friends, Justin couldn't help but smirk at the mirthful looks on their faces. Each of them was holding something in their hands that would be a part of Brian's birthday celebration.

"Sorry, grandpa," Emmett chuckled, smirking as he brandished a blindfold for Justin to see.

Brian turned to glare at their friends, his body stiffening when he saw what Justin already had. "I said, go away," the birthday boy repeated. He started to vault over Justin, intending to make a run for the bathroom, but was caught around the waist and pulled back down.

"Careful, he bites!" Michael shouted, shoving Justin out of the way as he came at Brian with a shirt.

Justin rolled off the bed, landing hard on the wooden base amidst the sounds of the others forcing Brian into his clothes and the blindfold. Without clothes himself, Justin scrambled around for something to put on. He had no intention of putting the leather pants back on and scrambled towards the closet for a pair of jeans which he was wiggling into at the same time Brian let out a dramatic scream.

It surprised the blonde that Brian was playing along so well. Brian normally hated surprises when they involved him. He put up a big enough stink when Justin wouldn't tell him what he was cooking for dinner some nights and at least then Justin didn't blindfold him. Sneaking up behind his lover, Justin brushed his fingers over the small of his back. Justin barely contained a groan when he saw the tombstone cake and black wreath that had been added to the funeral home set up at the far side of the loft.

"Ta da!" Michael cheered as he whipped the blindfold off.

Brian staggered slightly, his shoulders stiffening as he caught sight of the coffin. "What is this?"

Ted appeared in front of Brian then, holding a scroll out to the younger man. "Your official welcome to the Dead Faggots Society."

"And who are you, the fucking founding father?" Brian snarled as he snatched the rolled up paper from the accountant.

Justin knew that everyone was completely floored with how calm Brian was for the duration of the party. He understood this. According to them, Brian had been dreading his thirtieth birthday more than anything. He'd seen it as the end of his life. They'd expected swearing and shouting and anger, but instead they had a slightly irritated man who was feeding his infant son icing from his birthday cake.

There hadn't even been a rebellious glint in Brian's eye that Justin would have expected. Of course, it was still early in the day so Justin let himself get his hopes up. Instead, he simply enjoyed the party, stuffing his face full of chocolate cake and dancing with Gus when he could steal him away from Brian.

By noon everyone had left, going back to their own lives. The elevator hard barely even begun to descend to the first floor when Brian had him over his shoulder and was stalking towards the bedroom. Justin couldn't stop laughing and whacked Brian half-heartedly on the back, earning him a smack on the ass.

"Hey!" the blonde admonished. "Be careful with that!"

Justin let out a laugh as he was tossed onto the bed, his entire body bouncing after the impact. Heaving himself into a more upright position, Justin held a hand out towards his lover, awed by the glow he could see in Brian's eyes. Whatever misgivings the other man might have had about turning thirty, there was no evidence of it now. It made Justin feel confident enough to ask Brian about something he hadn't been able to get out of his mind for the past few weeks.

"Brian, are you going to be busy next Friday?" Justin asked softly, chewing nervously on his bottom lip. "Like around ten o'clock at night or so?"

The pursing of Brian's lips told Justin all that he needed to know. Brian couldn't go. He knew that it had been foolish to ask, but he'd needed to do so anyway. He wanted Brian to be there for the night Debbie claimed would be a right of passage for him.

"I have to go out of town," Brian murmured, kneeling down between Justin's legs. "There's a last minute problem with an account in Chicago and I have to be there for a week. Last minute thing. I only found out about it late yesterday and I have to leave Monday afternoon, till probably late Sunday."

Justin's eyes went wide. "That means you're missing Michael's goodbye party... and when he leaves. Shit. Does he know yet?"

Groaning, Brian leaned forward, resting his forehead against Justin's chest. "Any chance that you can be the one to tell him?"

"How about you be the one to tell him," Justin suggested, lifting his arms so that he could massage Brian's shoulders. "It'll sound better coming from you. Besides, you know Michael doesn't like me. He'd take it better coming from you."

Brian continued to move forward, forcing Justin to stretch out onto his back. "Then I'll call him when I leave for Chicago."

Justin held Brian's face in his hands, searching into his eyes. "Why don't you want to tell Mikey? I thought you guys were doing okay?"

"We are," Brian insisted, nudging his head out of Justin's hold so that he could lay his head down on the blonde's shoulder. "But he's getting so fucking insane about this move. You'd think he was going to Mars and not just to the other side of the country. I have enough going on without having to worry about his insanity."

He kept silent, letting Brian work through it in his own head. He knew that Brian didn't mean any of the stuff he'd said about Michael. It was just all of the stress about the New York office and his birthday ganging up on him. Making him worry. Brian worried a great deal more than people thought he did and about things they never would have expected. A lot of the time their friends tended to forget that Brian had feelings. That he actually cared about anything "beyond getting his dick sucked" the popular saying went.

"You should spend tomorrow with Michael," Justin suggested as he carded his fingers through Brian's rumpled hair. "You don't know when you're going to see him again and I know you'll miss him."

"Why do you care so much?" Brian wondered, lifting his head up so that he could once again meet the blonde's eyes.

"Because I know how much Michael means to you even if he does piss you off a lot of the time," Justin informed him. "Besides, once he's gone I get to have you all to myself."

Brian let out a boisterous laugh, swooping down to cover Justin's lips with his own. Justin leaned up into the kiss, his teeth clanking against Brian's for a brief moment before he opened his mouth to the other man. They'd been awake for several hours, but he'd been unable to properly wish his lover happy birthday. So Justin rolled Brian over onto his back and straddled the brunette's hips as he began to kiss a trail down the narrow column of Brian's throat to his chest.

The fingers from two hands came up to dance along his sides then, momentarily causing Justin to lose his concentration as they moved up towards his armpits where he was especially ticklish. Brian took advantage and flipped them over so that he was able to hover over the younger man, his arms stretched perfectly straight and his fists pressing into the mattress on either side of Justin's head.

"You know I'd show up if I could," Brian murmured, lowering himself just enough so that their lips brushed against each others.

Justin nodded his head, never taking his eyes off Brian's hazel ones. "I know. Besides, what would you do in a room full of fucking eighteen year olds?"

"I like fucking a certain eighteen year old.... I want to be there," Brian insisted, touching their foreheads together to ensure that he had Justin's full attention.

The artist could only smile up at his lover, awed by the sincerity in the other man's voice. Seconds later he was caught up in another fierce kiss and rolled his hips upwards so that his groin was pressed to Brian's, gasping when he felt Brian's cloth-covered erection against his own. Justin was suddenly very irritated with the fabric that separated them and wiggled his fingers between their bodies, attempting to unfasten Brian's jeans so that he could ease them down over the man's hips. He managed to succeed in getting the jeans open, but not down because his legs were draped over Brian's hips.

Brian seemed to realize the exact same thing and heaved himself up on his knees. Instead of attacking his own jeans, though, it was Justin's that were removed first. The blonde couldn't stop laughing as Brian grabbed the cuffs of his jeans and started to tug them up and off. He stretched his arms up over his head as he tugged so that Justin's rear and lower back were lifted up off the mattress. He had barely even tossed the jeans to the side before he was getting rid of his own leaving both of them wonderfully naked. As soon as they were gone, Brian stretched himself out between Justin's spread legs.

"That's much better," Brian said against Justin's throat. "Just how I wanted to spend today."

"The day's still young," Justin reminded him, shifting around in search of friction. "And so are you. You're going to be young and beautiful forever."

Brian chuckled quietly, lifting his head up to meet Justin's eyes once again. "I like the sound of that. Young and beautiful just like Cobain, James Dean, Hendrix...."

"Just like Brian Kinney," Justin grinned as he relaxed into the mattress. "Now I expect someone who's going to be young and beautiful forever to spend the rest of the day fucking me into the mattress."

"It's not nice to make the birthday boy do all the work," Brian pouted, grinding his hips against Justin's.

With a quirk of his eyebrows, Justin rolled them back over again so that he was straddling Brian's hips. He ordered Brian to stay put with a stern look then leaned towards the bedside table so that he could grab a condom and a tube of lube.

"Then the birthday boy won't do any work," Justin murmured as he waggled the wrapped condom at his lover. "He can just sit back and enjoy the ride."

Justin slowly unrolled the condom over Brian's cock, his fingers continuing down to fondle his balls which had Brian arching up off the mattress. He couldn't help but smirk as the older man let out a frustrated growl when he released him so that he could prepare himself. Justin put on a show for his reclining lover, stroking his cock while he worked the lube into his hole. He was whimpering and gasping, not sure which way to move his hips.

"Come on, Jus...." Brian groaned, his fingers scrabbling to clutch at the backs of Justin's knees.

Every single nerve ending he possessed felt as though it was humming. He was tingling all over and the sensation only increased as the head of Brian's cock pushed past the first ring of muscle. Justin slowly began to raise and lower himself on his lover's shaft, increasing his pace with each thrust. Once he had a steady rhythm going, he leaned forward to catch Brian's lips up in a kiss. He worked his hips in a circular motion, drawing a groan out of both of them which was caught up inside the other's mouth.

"Love you, love you, love you," Justin began to chant, sliding his lips down to suck on the corner of Brian's jaw.

Brian clutched at his hips and rolled them over so that he was once again peering down at the blonde. Justin was floored by the intensity in Brian's eyes. There was so much passion in the other man and it was all condensed into those two hazel spheres for him to see. He could feel it too as Brian's fingertips flitted across his cheeks. He heard it in Brian's stifled gasp when he came.

"Happy birthday to me," the birthday boy mumbled as he drifted off to sleep against Justin's shoulder.

Justin held Brian after he fell asleep, relishing in the feel of the taller man's body crushing him into the bed. It made him feel safe, something which still amazed him a lot of the time. Brian did that. Brian made him feel safe and loved and so much more. After everything with Damian he'd thought that he'd never feel like that for anyone, especially not so soon. 

"Happy birthday, Bri," Justin murmured into the dark strands of hair that rested against his shoulder.


	20. Hazy Sunshine

Justin’s smile alone was enough to make the hassle of flying back to Pittsburgh for an hour completely worthwhile. Brian could tell that it was taking every ounce of will power that Justin possessed not to bolt across the ballroom floor and into his arms. Instead, Justin acted every bit the prom king he was and guided his queen, who just so happened to be his best friend, down from the stage and back onto the dance floor. Sally whispered something to Justin and at his questioning look gave him a firm shove in Brian’s direction.

Smirking at the look Sally was giving him, Brian began to make his way towards Justin as well, his eyes never straying from his lover’s mega watt grin. The throng of teenagers parted for them and soon they were standing face to face in the center of a blue spotlight.

“I thought the king was supposed to share the first dance with his queen,” Brian commented absently as he ran his index finger up the inside of Justin’s lapel.

“The queen said she’d dismember me if I didn’t dance with you,” Justin grinned, running his right hand up Brian’s left arm to grasp his fingers which were still playing with the lapel.

Brian snorted at the comment. “Yeah, that sounds like the Smurf. So are you up to giving these kids a show?”

As if on cue, the first strains of Justin’s favourite song from "Hedwig and the Angry Inch" began to play over the sound system. For weeks after they’d seen the play in New York, the blonde had gone around singing “Origin of Love” so it was no wonder it became the official prom song when Sally took over its organization.

_When the earth was still flat,_  
And the clouds made of fire,  
And mountains stretched up to the sky,  
Sometimes higher.... 

Slowly the two started to sway back and forth to the music. Brian placed his free hand on Justin’s hip and smiled when Justin’s hand automatically went to his shoulder. The music picked up then and the two began a slow waltz, though neither actually knew the dance. Not that it mattered. Even without knowing the steps, they were capable of dancing perfectly in time with each other. No crushed toes or missed steps, only perfectly synchronized movements.

_And there were three sexes then,_  
One that looked like two men  
Glued up back to back,  
Called the children of the sun.... 

“It’s too bad,” Brian said as he pulled Justin back to him after having spun him around a few times, “that we have an audience or else we could dance naked like we did in that hotel room.”

Justin threw his head back slightly as he let out a loud, booming laugh. “Leave it to you to think about sex at a time like this.”

“This is a high school prom, Sunshine. Everyone in here is thinking about sex,” Brian pointed out. “Whether or not they’re going to get laid.”

“Am I going to get lucky tonight?”

Wanting to torture the kid, Brian began spinning him around once again while Hedwig continued the serenade them. As he guided Justin back towards him, he dropped the crown back onto the artist’s bright head. It landed a little askew, tilting towards his right eyebrow. Since the crown was little more than a circlet of fake gold, it made Justin look like a wayward angel in a tux.

_Now the gods grew quite scared_  
Of our strength and defiance  
And Thor said,  
“I’m gonna kill them all  
With my hammer,  
Like I killed the giants.”  
And Zeus said, “No,  
You’d better let me....” 

“Brian, how long are you going to be here? Is your trip done or do you have to go back to Chicago?” Justin pressed, glancing up at Brian nervously, yet still a little hopeful.

Taking pity on the kid, Brian finally gave an answer. “I just have time for this one dance. I’m only here for an hour.”

“You flew all the way here just for one dance?” Justin asked wistfully.

_Then he grabbed up some bolts_  
And he let out a laugh,  
Said, “I’ll split them right down the middle.  
Gonna cut them right up in half.” 

“You only get one prom,” was Brian’s response as they swayed across the dance floor in time with the music.

The words left Justin speechless, something Brian had thought was impossible to do. All that Justin seemed capable of doing was smiling as his left hand, which had been resting casually on Brian’s shoulder, moved to the back of his neck to play with the longer hairs there.

_And then fire shot down_  
From the sky in bolts  
Like shining blades  
Of a knife.  
And it ripped,  
Right through the flesh  
Of the children of the sun  
And the moon  
And the earth.... 

The music began to pick up in speed and tempo, so Brian seamlessly changed their slow waltz into a more upbeat one that was more like a mambo. Just like with the waltz, neither officially knew how to tango. Instead they borrowed moves from “Dirty Dancing” that they mimicked to the best of their ability. After scooping Justin up from a half dip, Brian once again found himself the wearer of the crown.

“Looks better on you,” Justin told him, grinning up at the taller man.

_And Osiris and the gods of the Nile_  
Gathered up a big storm  
To blow a hurricane,  
To scatter us away,  
In a flood of wind and rain,  
And a sea of tidal waves,  
To wash us all away.... 

Brian rolled his eyes but let the crown stay where it was. Tonight was Justin's night. The blonde had overcome so much since Brian had stumbled across him back in September. He was strong and confident and still so gentle despite everything that had happened to him. Brian knew that there were times that it was all a front, but it was allowed. He couldn't really protest when he had been prone to doing the same thing when he was Justin's age. Even after. There were still times that Brian did his utmost to hide himself away from everyone.

Justin was so much stronger than him and he loved him all the more for it.

_Last time I saw you_  
We had just split in two.  
You were looking at me.  
I was looking at you.... 

The music slowed once again, back to its original fluidity and Brian held Justin so close that it was a wonder they didn’t trip over each other’s feet. Somehow, they always knew where the other was stepping as they glided across the polished marble floor. 

“I’m really glad you’re here,” Justin whispered, his blue eyes alight with joy.

_But I could swear by your expression_  
That the pain down in your soul  
Was the same   
As the one down in mine.... 

“Where else would I be?”

Then Brian dipped Justin down so low that the top of his bright head nearly touched the floor. He let Justin hang there for a moment before raising the blonde back to his full height so that they would have stood nose to chin had Brian not had his head tilted downwards, evening out their gazes.

“We wrapped our arms round each other. Trying to shove ourselves back together,” Brian sang along with the music, slipping an arm about Justin’s waist and lifting him off the ground. He spun the two of them around in circles while Justin continued with the next line, “We were making love.”

The rest of the song ceased to matter as Brian dipped his head down to capture Justin’s lips with his own. He clutched his lover tight against him, his fingers searching out bare skin, but only finding silk. Justin seemed to be facing the same dilemma, but solved his problem by brushing his fingers against Brian’s cheek. Unable to find any of Justin’s skin save his lips, Brian devoured them, making up for five days’ absence in a single kiss. Justin’s tongue moved against his lips, after his own tongue and Brian readily complied, opening his mouth wide enough for the artist’s tongue to poke in.

“Wow,” Justin gasped against Brian’s lips when he pulled back for a breath. Neither strayed too far, their foreheads touching, noses brushing together. “That was definitely wow.”

“I think your little friends approved too,” Brian murmured, referring to the applause their dance had earned.

Justin kissed him again, quickly. “I can’t believe you’re here. This is real, right?”

“Very,” Brian confirmed, a smirk appearing on his face as a sudden thought entered his mind. “I’m sure the Smurf managed to catch the whole thing on that little video camera of hers if you don’t believe me.... Now, come on, walk me to the 'vette.”

Without waiting for a response from the teen, Brian grabbed hold of his hand and led him from the dance floor. They passed Sally on their way out of the ballroom and Brian paused long enough to give her a kiss on the cheek and inform her that she looked good enough to fuck.

“You do realize that I’ll never believe you when you say you’re not a romantic,” Sally teased, waving her video camera for emphasis.

“Tell a soul and I’ll make your life hell,” Brian grinned down at her.

“You already do,” Sally giggled as he and Justin made their retreat.

Once they were out in the corridor, Brian let out a laugh and pulled Justin into his arms. The pair danced a few steps, spinning in a circle and nearly crashing into several other prom-goers. Now that their little performance was over, Brian couldn’t believe what he had done. He had just danced at Justin’s prom. Not only that, he had proclaimed to a room full of teenagers and probably a handful of teachers and chaperones that he was in love with the kid. Thirty years old and he was in love with an artist who was two weeks away from his high school diploma. It was almost inconceivable for a man who, ten months before, wouldn’t have even slept with the same person more than once.

“Don’t make any plans for Sunday afternoon,” Brian told him as they headed towards the parking garage.

Justin was practically bouncing up and down beside him, he was so excited. “What happens on Sunday?”

“Well for starters, I’ll be coming back to the Pitts--”

“And will make up for a week of leaving me all alone in that big bed?” Justin finished hopefully.

Brian rolled his eyes and hugged Justin tighter against his side “I’ll have you know that I’ve been stuck in my own big lonely bed so you’ll have to do some making up of your own.”

“Like you have really gone all this time without tricking,” Justin scoffed good-naturedly. It often amazed Brian how easily the teen put up with his need to have sex with complete strangers while they were, more or less, in a serious relationship that was nearly a year old.

Except this time, “I haven’t had any tricks. Not a one. And not from lack of trying on their parts.”

“You haven’t had any sex in the past five days?” Justin asked, his expression, as well as his voice, betraying his disbelief.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Brian clarified, unable to suppress a grin as Justin’s smile faded away. “I have been jacking off each night when we talked on the phone and again in the morning when I didn’t have you to take care of my early morning hard-ons. That’s why I’ve decided that you have to come with me next time I go on a business trip.”

Even though he wasn’t exactly giving his lover a promise, it was something. More than Justin had had before that night. More than Brian had ever thought he’d be willing to give to someone else.

“Do you really mean that?” Justin whispered, coming to a complete stop in the middle of the corridor. “You’re really going to....”

Brian turned and placed his hands on Justin’s shoulders. “I’m going to try.”

It must have been the right thing to say because Justin launched himself into his arms. The force of Justin’s vault was so powerful that Brian found himself stumbling back a few steps. He didn’t mind in the least, though, because Justin had his legs and arms wrapped around him and was kissing him for all he was worth.

“This is the best night of my life,” Justin moaned against his lips, his legs slowly unwinding from around Brian’s waist.

Brian dropped his forehead against Justin’s, the two of them swaying together in the middle of the corridor. “Even if it was ridiculously romantic?” he responded, unable to keep the grin from his lips.

“There’s nothing wrong with a little romance,” the young blonde insisted, returning his grin.

“Says the guy who likes to punish me by making me eat on the floor and sit still for hours so he can draw my picture,” Brian teased as they once again began the trip to the Corvette. Brian wished that he really didn’t have to go back to Chicago and hoped that he could get everything tied up by the next day and come home early.

The pair had made it to the garage by this point and Justin was still as excited as he’d been that first moment the music had started. Brian watched him as he began to hum the tune under his breath and, still a little wound up from events himself, he caught the teen off guard when he pulled Justin into a quick dance and began singing the lyrics that went along with what he was humming.

“You had a way so familiar, but I could not recognize....”

“God, did you see their faces?” Justin laughed, cutting off the song suddenly. He spun in a circle, pulling Brian around with him.

“We gave them a prom they’ll never forget,” Brian agreed as he guided Justin back towards him.

Justin smile only seemed to get bigger. “One that I’ll never forget.”

At the Corvette, Brian moved Justin around so that the younger man’s back was pressed up against the door. He stared down at Justin’s face, as caught off guard by the teen’s beauty as he had been that first time he had seen him in the backroom of Babylon. So scared and yet, at the same time, so very strong. That invisible bond that had drawn him to Justin that first night had only grown stronger with each day that had passed from then to now.

“I’d better go or I’ll miss my flight,” Brian said quietly, reaching out to smooth Justin’s bangs away from his face.

“Call me when you get there?” Justin asked as he leaned into Brian’s touch.

Brian nodded his head slightly and leaned forward, brushing his nose against Justin’s before moving his chin down so that his lips found Justin’s. The kiss was light as could be, none of the consuming passion that had made up their kiss on the dance floor.

“Later,” Brian mumbled, still breathing the same air as Justin as he pulled away.

Justin hesitated for only a moment before returning the farewell. “Later.”

Spinning Justin away from the car, Brian watched as he stepped slowly backwards, away from him. To his surprise, Justin’s smile got even bigger as he continued in an exaggerated circle. Brian watched him for a moment before turning towards the 'vette door, his hand searching his pocket for the keys to unlock it. He momentarily caught sight of his reflection in the window and rolled his eyes.

The crown was still on his head.

Picking it from atop his perfectly styled, yet seemingly disarrayed hair, Brian turned back in the direction Justin had gone. “Hey, King Sunshine, you forgot your crown!”

Justin stopped where he was, about fifty feet away, and whirled back around to face Brian. “But I want you to keep it!”

Brian chuckled quietly and walked towards the end of the Corvette, the crown clutched tightly in his right hand. “I’m not flying back to Chicago with a fake gold crown. Come back here and get it.”

In an instant, Brian watched Justin’s smile fade away. Terror replacing his joy, Brian began to rush towards his lover, but stopped short at Justin’s scream.

“BRIAN!”

Before he could take another step, his vision went dark and he felt himself falling forward, towards the cement. His body crumpled painfully on the cold ground amidst the sound of scrambling footsteps and....

“BRIAN!”


End file.
